The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Sarah Palin Won't Defend John McCain, Won't Answer Question

Sarah Palin refuses to defend John McCain's record on deregulation.

It's almost like she thinks she's running for 2012.

More in Politics.

Fox Refuses To Carry Brave New Films Ad

Brave New Films' most recent political ad, detailing the medical history of GOP nominee John McCain and which raises concern about his recurrent melanoma, has over the past week been rejected by all three cable news networks, for reasons various and sundry. MSNBC for example, took the ad out of rotation because Bill O'Reilly yelled at them and this made them sad, or something. O'Reilly was likely incensed because BNF has made Mr. "Fuck It We'll Do It Live" the butt of many jokes. They've been pretty unsparing to O'Reilly's network, as well. BNF's Robert Greenwald is the man behind the documentary Outfoxed, and we'll not soon forget his tribute to the network's many pornographic offerings.

With that in mind, it's hardly surprising that the Fox News Channel would refuse BNF's ad about McCain's medical history. Interestingly, however, the network has made a rather inept attempt at couching their rationale along journalistic lines, telling the filmmakers that the ad was not suitable for airing because they "couldn't come up with conclusive proof of [their] 'claim' that McCain has had four melanomas." BNF sent along articles attesting to the underlying facts of McCain's skin cancer history from sources such as the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the Los Angeles Times, but these efforts failed to meet or exceed Fox's standard of journalistic excellence. Of course, by that logic, you know who else fails to meet or exceed Fox's standard of journalistic excellence? Fox News.

NOTE: At the time this post was authored, the actual advertisement in question was unavailable through Brave New Films, as their account with YouTube had been suspended, for reasons unknown. The ad can be seen in its entirety on this clip from The Young Turks.

It's Rope-A-Dope!
Larry Flynt is Hustling up an Ala-skin flick with Sarah Palin look-alike

Thursday, October 2nd 2008, 4:00 AM

Larry Flynt is using the power of porn to express his views on Sarah Palin.

The Hustler founder and freedom of speech advocate has produced an X-rated movie using an adult-film actress who resembles the Republican vice presidential candidate.


Flynt's producers posted an anonymous help-wanted ad on Craigslist in L.A. just days after the Republican convention. "Looking for a Sarah Palin look-alike," read the ad, "for an adult film to be shot in the next 10 days." The actress would be paid $3,000 for the part, said the ad.

No, it's not Tina Fey.


Flynt's spokesman David Carrillo confirmed to us yesterday that the film has been shot by Hustler Video, but he wouldn't yet reveal the title. They need only consult bloggers from humorist Mo Rocca to Choire Sicha at Radar, who upon discovery of the ad came up with such gems as "Juneau You Want It" and "Northern Xxxposure."

The iconoclastic publisher, who was portrayed by Woody Harrelson in the movie "The People vs. Larry Flynt," has never hidden his liberal views. In his 2005 book "Sex, Lies and Politics: The Naked Truth," he eviscerated the Bush administration for what he saw as its violations of U.S. freedoms guaranteed under the Bill of Rights.

Gov. Palin's spokesman could not be reached by deadline.

Sarah Palin Porn Lookalike Needed
Oh dear. A "Sarah Palin look alike" is needed for an "adult themed video production." This is apparently a video production company that is absolutely phobic about hyphens, as well. Videogum suggests that they're making variously lewd but pun-filled pornographic titles. Something like—oh wait, look, they announced the shortlist for the Booker Prize, the English-speaking world's second-most prestigious literary prize!
By Choire Sicha 09/09/08 4:30 PM

"YOU WANT ME TO PUT WHAT WHERE?" Not porn actress
So the company that placed an ad on Craiglist seeking a Sarah Palin lookalike for a porn shoot? Hustler! A spokesperson for founder Larry Flynt confirms that the film has already been shot, but wouldn't release the name.

Flynt did, however, provide Radar with a copy of the script. (For what it's worth, the working title appears to be Riding Pipeline.) Here's the first scene. [CAUTION: GRAPHIC CONTENT]

(Open on the PALIN residence, Wasilla, Alaska. Evening. Governor SARAH PALIN is sitting on the couch, reading "all of the magazines." She is wearing a satin negligee and bunny slippers. Her luxurious brown hair is in a bun. Her glasses rest just so on the bridge of her nose. TODD is out of town on business. TRIGG is peacefully asleep upstairs. There is a firm knock at the door. PALIN puts down her reading material and goes to answer it.)

PALIN: Who is it?

GRUFF MALE VOICE: It's JOE, the tanning-bed repairman.

(PALIN unlocks the door and opens it)

PALIN: Hiya! You were supposed to be here two hours ago, doncha know?

JOE: I'm sorry. My snowmobile broke down outside of Matunska. I had to walk the rest of the way.

PALIN: Well, you're in luck. I just baked a batch of chocolate-chip cookies. Why don't you come inside and I'll fix you a plate of 'em?

(JOE obliges. He takes a seat on the couch. PALIN enters the kitchen and returns shortly after with the cookies. She gives them to JOE, but not before looking him up and down.)

PALIN: My oh my. That's quite a toolbelt you have on. It looks heavy.

JOE: I have a big hammer.

PALIN: Oh, I betcha do. I love a big hammer. But I love screwdrivers, too! And wrenches. The fact is I love and respect all of America's diverse tools, big and small. They're what helps make us so great as a nation. Here, let me take that off for ya.

(PALIN takes a seat on the coach beside JOE and starts to undo his belt. He stops her.)

JOE: Let's go take a look at the tanning bed first.

PALIN: Oooh, okay.

(PALIN leads JOE to the tanning salon in the basement. JOE carefully inspects the machine.)

JOE: Looks like there are just a bunch of screws loose.

PALIN: (seductively) You're in luck. I fully support off-shore and on-shore drilling.

(PALIN pounces on JOE and throws him onto the top of the tanning bed. She quickly rips off his jeans.)

PALIN: God almighty! You are hung like a moose. Now I have to eat ya!

JOE: I'm bigger than a moose. Do you have any contraceptives?

PALIN: It's okay. I already took a morning-after pill.

JOE: Um, are you sure it works that way?

PALIN: Are you asking me if I know what a morning-after pill is? Because I totally do! I'll get back to ya with specifics.

(The two proceed to make furious love in a multitude of positions. PALIN amply demonstrates that she has enough experience.)

PALIN: Fuck me harder! HARDER! Pound me until my head is so empty that I can't even remember the name of the one Supreme Court case I actually know! I want it to burn. Burn like a banned book. Oh God, Oh God, OH MY GOD! MAKE ME SEE RUSSIA FROM HERE!

(After 10 minutes, the two finish.)

PALIN: Wow-eee. I haven't had a ride that good since Todd took me for a spin on the back of his Yamaha at the Tesoro Iron Dog.

JOE: That was amazing. What now?

PALIN: I feel so alive! Let's grab my gay friend and go shoot wolves from the safety of a helicopter.

(End scene)

By Neel Shah 10/02/08 1:45 PM

More ....

Palin's "White Flag Of Surrender" Line Falls Flat

Lobbyist Hired by Freddie Mac to Work on McCain Is Now Senator's Aide

Sarah Palin Winks At America

Ex-Bush Officials: Biden Won The Debate


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