Sparky Rehashes Life Lessons For All — I went searching for cover letters for the Guru who is between jobs. And you'd be surprised at what I found. The below is a good cover letter:

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Santos Sparky
123 Main Street #A
Santa Monica, CA 90401
(310) 111-1111 Home
(310) 111-1111 Work
stsparky@gmail.com

Contact Name
Big Tech Company
123 Main Street #100
Anytown, CA. 99999
Re: Technical Support Representative

Dear Contact,

I want to introduce myself. Please forgive the length. I graduated California State University Northridge with a Bachelor's degree in Animation and Printmaking. One day traveling through Europe, I saw a computer weaving a carpet. I experienced epiphany. In my mind I saw artists input design parameters and getting finished Animation Cels in return. This was 1982 and already American Animation houses were turning to cheap labor pools in Asia to cut costs. I saw technology reversing this trend.

I returned to America to implement this brainstorm. I enrolled in a technical trade school because it fitted my needs better than a college at the time. Upon the receipt of my certificate, I immediately found a position at a well positioned software publishing house designing video games. My professor Famous N. Relevant (who illustrated the Einstein, Beethoven and Da Vinci posters for Apple) helped me find the job. I handle technology issues well. I am not socially inept. I have done Tech Support and QA. I am an efficient problem solver who does not make the customer feel idiotic. I have the Internet skillset for the tasks ahead. I want the Tech Support Position you need filled.

Sincerely,
Santos Sparky

Using a variant of this will get you the interview. Honest Injun!

Bear in mind your interviewer could be one of those "puzzle interview" schmucks ...

I was asked "Why are 'manhole covers' round" ... This is the primer:

How Would You Move Mount Fuji?: Microsoft's Cult of the Puzzle -- How the World's Smartest Companies Select the Most Creative Thinkers

And so it goes —

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Guru's words @ the Interview

If you're switching jobs between rival companies - I suggest not wearing a shirt or bringing a breifcase that has a emblem of the company you're trying to leave to an interview. Especially in the movie studio industry. I got passed over at a position at Sony Pictures because I dared to show up to my interview with a dress shirt that had the 20th Century Fox logo emblazoned on the right side pocket. My agency told me this is why I didn't get the job even though I wore a tie and expensive shoes to the interview.

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As to ruining careers — there is this:

Dear Google.com.

PP Guru hijacked a publishing project, of which I had enabled, and I wished him well. He managed to commission artwork from me as an independent contactor, did not honor the agreement, and stole my property, comic books he offered to sell, of which he had no connection. I just learned that Mr. Guru has slandered myself, and two of my associates on a Google blog, and it has been posted now for 3 years, and is still there. I have traced everything from the past 3 years, which has destroyed my career and sent me to the hosptial many times to contacts and situations stemming from this post. My friends have been permanantly damaged as well. Please help me to remove this. Below is the link, as well as my cutting and pasting responses to Mr. Guru, the parties involved and my lawyers, with my best attempt to identify who is being quoted. Sincerely, Scott Goodell

http://purplepinupguru.blogspot.com/2004_08_01_archive.html

Guru, you slandered me on the internet 3 years ago, and many problems I've had have stemmed from what you did. I will answer each accusation in the appropriate color. I just saw this, as you did not overtly want me to know what you did here ...

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Bwahahaha! Whee!