PP GURU:
REAL LIFE STRANGE STIRRINGS
BELOW THE PP GURU'S BELT!!

The PP Guru was at a impasse this week concerning what feminine subject he wanted to tackle (and the PP Guru would love to do a lot of tackling of female subjects these days). He didn't want to go all balls out on particular celebrity matters, even though they were making the majority of the news other than the usual insurgent car bombings and California beach landslides.

He could have commented on Paris Hilton's planted nuptials to some other stupid schmuck who happens to be also named Paris whose plans of worldly domination would only entail littering the earth with even more airheaded Paris offsprings - but both he and Sparky already contributed their discourse for everything of giant-sized digits and toes grappling and stuffing her face with double sized burgers.

He could have went for the Lindsay Lohan car clash with the sloppy drooling over- eager paparazzi- snapping her picture over what? Her dad being a drunk? Nah- afraid she falls way too under the jail bait radar for the PP Guru. Good luck with Herbie, darling and be careful with that constant roaming tail pipe - or you'll be doing worse than trying to call M.A.A.C.O. for help.

Renee Zellweger could've been a contender - but the only interest the PP Guru had in her was when she provided the perfect leg sandwich with Catherine Zeta-Jones in Chicago - now with her being married to a country singer of all people, raises a red flag and therefore his attention span for Renee is as engaging these days as a labrador sitting in a easy chair licking his balls. Besides, the PP Guru was under the impression that her new film Cinderella Man was a documentary about the Canadian power trio Rush with her playing some horny underage crazed groupie putting out for singer/bassist Geddy Lee.

No- this time the PP Guru is going to pay tribute to something different this time around.

Real life acolytes.

Now the PP Guru doesn't really like to boast - but he has real life female operatives spread across the continents like Toltec warriors that usually stay in constant contact with him via two way wrist radios about the daily dirty going ons within the Hollywood celebrity nexus. So in essence, they are the gossip gatherers for him and their power of presence is legion to him.

One of the main PP Guru's subtle and ample bodied lieutenants in this war of truth, justice, and the incineration of the National Enquirer's right wing gossip hounded circulation is the amazing Jennnnnnster.



And the PP Guru has actually seen her in the flesh. So please allow him to gush with kindred benevolence - after all, she has a booty that has be seen to be believed.

Earlier this year, The Amazing J with the 6 N's has provided the PP Guru with spectacular intel on his rival studio's shady dealings with such late-breaking stories as to what was really going on with a certain female mega tv movie/star when both her new movie that was made by a different rival studio (which anyway winded up bombing from a 100 stories high) conflicted with the new season premiere date of her television series which goes through a network owned by the studio that she is contracted to. The press had reported that she came down with some serious ailment therefore leading all of us to believe that she was too ill to make it to her own red carpet premiere of the movie. Once upon hearing that little tidbit, The PP Guru immediately became suspicious when all movie posters and bus placards magically began disappearing all over town. The PP Guru was immediately thunderstruck and got on his Cleargreen patented cornet of zen with Jennnnnn and quietly sucked all that nasty clandestine hubris from out of her pretty little head and quickly bottled it and e-shipped it off to Heidi's blog before those other ugly tabloid rags such as Variety or The Hollywood Reporter got their dirty unsanitary grubby little hands on it. The PP Guru's suspicions were true, Studio A did not want this movie starlet to be anywhere near the promotion of Studio B's movie when their television series premiered a mere two days before the picture's official opening day.

You see, with just a little tantra brainwashing and a pinch of peyote, the PP Guru can crack his agents over just as a blind Yaqui yoga instructor bends over a seeing eye dog to extract the most important intel almost as good as the White House can out Valerie Plame as a CIA leak. And with that * ahem* incredible(s) looking booty - it's not as easy as it looks to all those all normal guru joes who claim they can do it in Ixtlan land.

In addition, the fabulous J with the 6 N's has been very palliative in assisting the PP Guru with her studio's employee discount in obtaining certain quantity of their superlative DVDs. Whatever harsh words he has about the underhanded sneaky shenanigans that her company partakes in - there's no doubt in the PP Guru's herbicidal battered mind, her guys make the most excellent DVDs that are just chockful of hard to find easter eggs. The PP Guru likes to call on the J with the 6 N's every once in a while just to see....

that incredible booty... up close and personal..

that....that stupendous, fantastically, fine firmed & chistled....booty.

THAT marvelously eye catching and sense shattering booty which under the PP Guru's tutelage could master the ability to end world hunger and bring peace and prosperity to many starved nations....

That booty, that wonderful.....

ohh.

.....

THE PP GURU has simply got to learn how to snap himself out of these self- gratifying trances while he's doing these mind melding transcriptions.

Now where was the PP Guru? Ah yes,..... the Jen with the 6 N's is within her own rights a fabulous talented creature. In addition to being a mole to the PP Guru's fact based celebrity gathering operations, the Jen with the 6 N's has done some radio dee-jaying on KISS- FM, likes to drives around monster trucks and is currently raising a young boy of whom he hears is a MVP on his little league team.






So there you have it,

Real life strange stirrings below the PP Guru's belt.

With curvaceous booties.....

Ohhhhhh.


As vulgarly relayed to:

~ Coat