The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Friday, June 24, 2005

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Do you remember all those early Marvel comics back in the sixties called Tales to Astonish, Tales of Suspense or Strange Tales? Do you remember when they used to feature not one, but two superheroes stories under one cover? Captain America & Iron Man, Incredible Hulk and the Sub Mariner, or Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D and Dr Strange- and you got both features rolled under and into your back pants pocket for under 12 cents? Well, here at the Platform- we are sticklers for such good old nostalgia - and the same ol' adage applies here as well on Fridays when it comes to pinup girls to beat yourself off to- but only when we're feeling generous enough.
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Well- it seems the PP Guru is undecided this weekend of what glamourous model that he needs to stalk and expose what zen genital philosophy he needs sermonized beneath his robes. But rest assured, the two wishful thinking runner-ups he has in mind both will have a powerful mental bond between them : they both will be directly responsible for re-vitalizing the zombie movie genre.

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Last Sunday - the PP Guru got invited by the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy, & Horror to attend a special preview screening of a new movie being released later this summer by Lion's Gate Films called the Universal Pictures - and it's fucking part of his Zombie trilogy twenty years after the fact! Universal would have been silly not to accomodate Romero for not finanicing his latest shock opus when they realized it had a runaway hit with last year's Zack Synder's remake of Dawn of the Dead with it's big name stars - and now we are giving Romero's chance to shine in what is supposed to be his stunning next chapter - albeit with big name stars like Dennis Hopper, John Leguizamo and Asia Argento.

What the fuck - Asia Argento?

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Where the hell has she been all this time since XXX?

The PP Guru had to undergo some heavy Pulitzer Prize investigating into what Asia has been up to since then. It would make perfect sense for her to be in a cultish type of horror flick since her father, Dario Argento is a world reknown horror film director from Italy. The PP Guru's findings have led him to reports of her directing videos for Marilyn Manson and will be also be featured opposite Michael Pitt in Gus Van Sant's autobiographical take on Kurt Cobain's life in Last Days, in addition to the plethora of countless films and projects she goes and makes in her native country of Italy. Gossip chit chat also reveals that she is currently seeing Brad's younger sibling.

Those Fucking Pitts - first Angelina Jolie, now Argento. Goddamn their insufferable luck.

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However, seeing these photos of Asia kind of sets off a skeptical vibe within the PP Guru's Christian throat throttling ceremonial cloaks - those wide spanning tattoos of hers sends up a red flag to him- surely, just by the looks of her - he would like nothing more than to dine on the plate of where those angels may happen to spread those wings but he's really worried that he might score some nasty hepatitis take out in the long run. From what the PP Guru has heard rumors of on the "internets" is that those who cover a good percentage of their bodies in tattoes and body piercings may run the risk of infection of hepatitis C. Sure, when the PP Guru bows down before a great pair of spread apart gams - he doesn't mind a little tiny tear drop or a Winnie the Pooh monogramed into the upper left portion of a thigh or hidden within the thicket of a forest here and there - but as licking paint chips off some sugar walls- no- he's afraid that he was taught from a very impressionable young age that it could possibly endanger his health in the long run.

Have a very safe licky dead weekend-

As sucked out through a sieve to:

~ Coat


  • At 10:40 AM , Blogger Coat said...

    Time to go more upscale my man.

  • At 8:16 AM , Blogger Coat said...

    What the hell happened?

    My entire review of Undead got vaporized into cyber limbo again.




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