The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Monday, June 20, 2005

PP Guru:

Let it not be said that the PP Guru and his trusty anarchist aide, Sparky have their deeds not go unrewarded! Now the PP Guru knows his trusty 'internets' (to coin a phrase from our dear ol' fearless dumb jerk-off for a leader, Diet Coke Dry Drunk Dubya) and his online journal has been picking up steam in the world of search engines and 'vile' word of mouth- from people who just don't really like us- but there are a scattered few admirers in-between. But we intend to enjoy the ones who don't like us the most, because life isn't fun unless someone wants to shake your hand with a live piece of napalm or a plastique explosive already attached to it.

Well here at the PP GURU Platform we love a good jihad in the morning just as much as any good cutthroat hearted Al Qaeda dancing girl does and we love to hear what terrifying and death threating opinions you have to share:

In fact, the PP Guru was lucky enough to pounce and eviscerate his neighborhood area post person with a club wrapped up in barb wire just like he was taught when he checked out that English dubbed French made horror flick "High Tension" over the past weekend. The PP Guru found out after sorting through the blood splattered goo that substitutes for brain matter these days - that the US Post Office was indeed holding out on him, and was happy to find these two missives in his po box rather than the usual overkill assortment of credit card bills, applications for even more credit cards, the sewing up of crotches book club and the special edition of Victoria Secret's catalog- the Grandma Pantyshield Commemorative edition (and if the PP Guru ever finds the swine who put his name on the mailing list--- He'll....He'll....SPARRRRKKKKKYYYYY?):

But first some good accolades from the PP Guru's younger brother, the PP Guru Jr- from his central home office in Lincoln, Nebraska concerning our Batman Begins coverage:

"The PP Guru Jr has got to tell you. Batman begins is one of the best movies ever. We loved it! The PP Guru Jr can't wait until the next one comes out. Hopefully there will be a next one. The PP Guru Jr wants that movie on DVD as well. The theater was only half full though. The PP Guru Jr is disappointed that it isn't making more of a bang at the Theaters. Get your company to start cranking out some more Batman's with that cast. It was ten times better than the old ones with Keaton, Clooney, and Kilmer. The PP Guru Jr loved the fact they didn't get silly with it like the old ones but Kept it dark. The PP Guru Jr even thinks it was better than Star Wars. The PP Guru Jr is proud to have his big shiny
brother who stands on a pedestal even way higher than Mount Kangchenjunga working for w@$&*$ bro$&^%rs. —

That last sentence was a real kick to the testes. Because everyone who works with the PP Guru feels as if they would be getting better treatment at Jack in the Shit. With the exception of maybe some Mandy Moore or Hilary Duff flicks -my studio does not give you acid indigestion nor makes you take a motion sickness bag before looking to find your seat into the cinema (However, we take no responsibility whatsover for whatever poison you purchase at the concession stand) . THE PP GURU stands proudly behind his company and rallies for every family wholesome product it unleashes upon the masses- so kids make sure to ask mom and dad to take you to see V for Vendetta after summer is over.

SO this next letter - was written to the PP Guru to behalf of his gonad crunch kicking aide with just that light zen touch, Sparky- since he would be the expert spin doctor of all Satannish happening sale events on this blog; i.e; the delicious hijinks of those cheerful cheating Conservative Right (eroding) Wing hypocritical espousing cowards who can send millions upon millions of other people children to fight their meaningless bloodbath, but can't bring themselves to send their own kids into the fray ... eye ... eye ... eye ... eye ... eye ... eye ... eye ... eye Holy freaking spicy six dollar burger, was the PP Guru going off on a tangent again?...

Anyway - this little piece of Jesus juice dribble is in protest of a mention of a Lester Roloff in Sparky's column concerning the American Taliban comes from a Brad Hanson ... presumedly located somewhere in the bible belt capitol of the world of Texas (Or better yet, would that be Barsoom by any chance? What The PP Guru means to convey is where else could this line of thinking even stem from? ) that no one really sure it whether or not it's part of the United States or some freakin' half ass backwards sovereign nation. To confess, the PP Guru knows very little of Lester - this is the first he's heard of him, so this will be an education to the PP Guru as well as the rest of his twisted reading audience.

So Brad - the PP Guru surrenders the podium over to you:

"hey, man, i just wanted to inform you that Bro. Roloff has been dead for 23 almost 24 years and your comment about him being allowed to reopen the home by George W. (2000) is false. you said of him "He would have been finished had he not of been specifically given permision to re-open his homes by, you guested it, Governor George W Bush." if you want to talk trash or make commentary on Bro. Roloff, by using his quotes you really should be more informed about his life. He was one of the most sold out, God fearing, Men of God that has ever lived. you can still listen to his radio broadcast today, i'm sure you know, since you quote him like you've lived next to the man. Don't oppose the ministry of Bro. Roloff in writing or by mouth, because God has had a way of dealing with the people who falsely accused Bro. Roloff. Bro. Roloff had God all over his life. His favorite thing to do when he was alive was to go into the woods for three or four days, and fast and pray, until God was all over him, and then he'd preach, and God would be there, and everyone knew it, because he loved God so much that he'd do anything just to have a touch of God. don't go opposing Bro. Roloff. oppose anyone else you want, Bush, Pat Robertson, white supremacists, republicans, anyone, but the Man of God. I really don't care who you want to "expose" or whatever, just don't mess with God's man. consider yourself warned, God has a way of dealing with those who run their mouths about the man of God.
- Brad Hanson "

OK, are you done now? Now would kindly please get the fuck off my stage - you're scaring the shit of the PP Guru's little brother, the PP Guru Jr and the PP Guru doesn't take too kindly to this end upon end ass retentive bullshit about the oncoming apocalypse. And the PP Guru can't be any more politer than that. You can take both the book of Revelations and the fucking Kor'an and mix in a little of the PP Guru's home recipe of Hershey squirts and you're still going to come up with a fucking waldorf salad. The following is what the PP Guru's brother wrote on the same subject- (then again - maybe the apocalypse came and went already - the PP Guru Jr's spelling and grammar has vastly improved since we last e-mailed each other. )

"With all of the quakes you all have had it must have shook loose all of that bible-beating bullshit we all have to absorb. Reading some of those quotes of people like Falwell and Santorium have said really discourages me. THE PP Guru Jr's Born again mother (OH NO! Not the PP Guru's bible thumping Stepmom!) is coming out here in 10 days. The PP Guru Jr has been trying to decide whether to hide his Agnostic views during her stay or not. The PP Guru Jr will probably do what he always does and just ignore her born again views so she'll have a good visit. The PP Guru Jr will never join in any of those cults himself as he has seen how they push their views on people with different lifestyles: the religous right could just except people for who they are. Anyway, the PP Guru JR is starting to save for our Vegas trip in August 3rd week. It won't be too much longer.

So there you have it- letters to the bloggers.

Let it not be said that this is not a equal opportunity blog that is being run in tiptop shape.

We welcome all types of responses on this blog. Whether you indulge in hot man on man love action or you happen to be that desparate aspiring actress looking for that stray but stringent carpet to eat away - or if you just happen to aspire to be like the PP Guru to gratify himself in the pantyhose or pierced clit variety funpack- then please don't hesitate to add your much appraised opinion. Just don't think of the PP Guru as gay himself- otherwise he'd have to call himself the Purple Pinup Gay Guru- or PP GGuru for short - and folks, carrying that extra G would be very strenuous and hard work- so let's drop it, ok?

This was sent via airheaded at the speed of acid prone reflexes and recieved registered mail by:

~ Coat

Sparky left links - but here we go - This Fucktard? —
Lester Roloff (Texas Homes for Wayward Youth)

“Better a pink bottom than a black soul.*”

*Roloff opened a chain of homes for "wayward" youth in the state of Texas; he was later jailed in 1973 and again in 1975 for child abuse due to the punitive punishment techniques used in his homes. He would have been finished had he not of been specifically given permision to re-open his homes by, you guested it, Governor George W Bush.

Wikipedia: Lester Roloff

Lester Roloff (born June 28, 1914 - Dawson, Texas, died November 2, 1982 - Normangee, Texas) was a fundamentalist Baptist preacher and author.

Roloff is known for:

  • The youth homes he established for juvenile delinquents and the strict Biblical discipline practiced there. Roloff waged numerous battles with Texas state authorities over his disciplinary practices.
  • His advocacy of a strict all-natural diet and a rejection of processed foods, as expressed in his 1955 pamphlet Food, Fasting and Faith.
  • His radio program "The Family Altar", aired on numerous radio stations to this day, decades after his death.

Early Ministry

Roloff began preaching at age eighteen. He attended Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and later Baylor University. He is reported to have brought his dairy cow with him to Baylor to raise tuition funds through the sale of its milk.

After graduation, Roloff began preaching at small country churches in southern Texas, before taking on pastoral duties at churches in Houston and later Corpus Christi. It was in Corpus Christi in 1944, that Roloff began his radio show, The Family Altar.

Roloff would later fall out of favor with his alma mater after criticizing their decision to award an honorary doctorate degree to President Harry S. Truman.

Ministry Expands

In 1950 Roloff was called upon to fill in as preacher at a series of revival meetings in Corpus Christi after the scheduled speaker, B. B. Crim died. The enthusiastic reaction to Roloff's preaching led him to resign his pastorate and pursue full-time evangelism. Roloff's Evengelistic Enterprise was incorporated the following year.

Roloff preached stridently against Communism, television, alcohol, tobacco, and psychology. In 1954 he began utilizing a loud speaker equipped van to preach. Roloff refused to lower the volume even after complaints from citizens got the attention of the local police. It would be the first of numerous confrontations with law enforcement. His increasingly confrontational behavior led to his isolation from most of his Southern Baptist brethren. As invitations to lead revival meetings dwindled, Roloff returned to pastoral ministry, establishing the Alameda Street Baptist Church in Corpus Christi in 1954.

The Roloff Homes

Increasingly distanced from mainline Southern Baptists, Roloff began actively ministering to alcoholic and homeless men. His first mission house was established in Corpus Christi in 1954. Additional mission homes were added throughout Texas and later in Georgia. The first Roloff Home for females, The Rebekah Home for Girls, was established in 1968. The successes of the Roloff Homes in getting criminals and addicts reformed attracted initially favorable attention to Roloff's ministry. Many former residents of the homes went on into ministry themselves. Soon, however, troubling allegations of abuse and torture began to emerge.

The Texas Attorney General's office began investigating reports of violent beatings, starvation, and torture at the Roloff Homes in 1971. Roloff denied the charges, as the accusations were made by residents of the girls homes who objected to the strict discipline and standards. In spite of several trials, neither Dr. Roloff nor any of his staff were ever found guilty of abuse in any form. Some of the homes were temporarily closed in 1973, but re-opened the following year after Roloff successfully appealed to the Texas Supreme Court. Upon advice from then Texas Attorney General, Mark White, Roloff at one point transferred ownership of the homes from Roloff Evangelistic Enterprises to his church, the People's Baptist Church, with a promise from Attorney White that if he lost the case against the church ministry he would then leave the ministries alone. The State of Texas did lose the case based upon the Separation of Church and State. Mr. White reneged on his promise and refiled the case, forcing an injunction that effectively shut the homes down. In 1975, the State of Texas passed laws that required licensing of youth homes. Roloff was arrested twice for refusing to comply. In 1979 an incident that became known as the "Christian Alamo", occurred as Roloff urged Churches and Pastors across America who supported the Children's ministries to come to Corpus Christi and form a human chain around the church to prevent the Department of Human Resources from removing children from the homes whose parents and, in many cases, juvenile court judges, had placed in the homes to recover from drug and alcohol addiction and sinful living . The Court ruled against Roloff, and the homes were again scheduled to close in 1979. Just before the law was to take effect, Roloff had all of the residents of the Texas homes bussed to other Roloff properties outside the state. More legal battles with the state of Texas continued and the homes in that state again re-opened temporarily.

Roloff Dies

Roloff had always had a fascination with flight. He purchased his first airplane in 1954, and used it to travel between his various homes throughout the country. His sermons were often filled with details of near-disasters in the air. On November 2, 1982, Roloff's plane crashed in a storm outside Normangee, Texas, killing Roloff and one female staff member and a ladies singing trio from the home for adult women.

The Family Altar Program

Roloff's show continues on the air to this day with recordings of his sermons aired in both 15 and 30 minute programs. Roloff was posthumously inducted into the National Religious Broadcasters Hall of Fame in 1993. After breaking with the Southern Baptists in 1956 over a speech criticizing denominationalism, Roloff became a King James Only Independent Baptist. His use of the KJV did not prevent Roloff from reading the stories of the Bible in the style of a modern storyteller, ad libing voices and additional dialog for the Biblical characters. Roloff employed a finely honed sense of drama and his fire and brimstone style was punctuated with sudden shifts in modulation. Roloff also incorporated singing into his sermons. The Family Altar program begins and ends with Roloff singing "The Stranger Who Sat By The Sea".

Roloff's Legacy

Roloff is cited as a major influence on both the homeschooling and youth boot camp movements. Many of the Christian reform schools that came after have also been accused of using torture and brainwashing techniques.

External Links

So Bush was helping his "Alaskan Girlfriend" get her illegal abortion around the time the school was in trouble for abuse, brainwashing and torture. Sorry about not double checking the source was 100% CORRECT. Here's the source of the quote in context:
“...Evangelist Lester Roloff drew a line in the dirt to keep the State of Texas from regulating his Rebekah Home for Girls. Years later, George W. Bush's plan to free faith-based institutions from government rules handed Roloff's disciples a long-sought victory. But this Alamo had no heroes-only victims like DeAnne Dawsey. ... Attorney General John Hill promptly filed suit against Roloff Evangelistic Enterprises, introducing affidavits from sixteen Rebekah girls who said they had been whipped with leather straps, beaten with paddles, handcuffed to drainpipes, and locked in isolation cells-sometimes for such minor infractions as failing to memorize a Bible passage or forgetting to make a bed. Roloff defended these methods as good old-fashioned discipline, solidly supported by Scripture, and denied that any treatment at Rebekah constituted abuse. During an evidentiary hearing, he made his position clear by declaring, "Better a pink bottom than a black soul." Attorney General Hill bluntly replied that it wasn't pink bottoms he objected to, but ones that were blue, black, and bloody. ...”
So yes the quote is right and the spanking reverend is still dead. The evil that men do often lives on after their exit from the stage. Got to wonder what brainwashing was done to poor Brad?

I can't speak for the Guru - but I'm a pious man of GOD myself. The real thing not your hippy long haired reimagined psuedo-quasi-Calvinist misguided facist Xtian version. I've never spanked anyone who could not spank me back. History and science show there was no “Jesus” only a deranged PR man called Paul. We can have an exhange on the nature of GOD next time if you're game. Use the comments area if you can and we bring it onto the blog IF it is BLOG-worthy. o&o - Sparky


  • At 3:58 PM , Blogger ZenPupDog said...

    We have readers? Really? I'll make the connection between Xtians and Scientologists soon ...

    life is good and weird. - ZPD

  • At 5:09 PM , Blogger ZenPupDog said...

    so freaky - ZPD

  • At 9:49 AM , Blogger Coat said...

    Hello Mister Reader?


  • At 5:56 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    i was in the roloff homes and it was bad. its been over 20 years and that place still haunts me

  • At 4:38 PM , Blogger Coat said...

    Slow, but surely, more abused victims are coming out of the closet.




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