The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004


(yet another edition of HALF-ASS! )

I'm reprinting my final Skate Jesus post as I commence with the unpacking from my last weekend's APE antics.

Well another day, another epic achievement completed (in my estimation).

I can't believe that I made it to a thousand posts on a delphiforum. What's worse, I can't believe you guys let me go off for so long.

What's wrong with you people, don't you have any sense of discipline any more?

Well, word came down from the STANDARD BROADCAST OF SAFE DELPHIFORUMS POSTING PRACTICES (don't ask- it's a little voice inside my head) that the Cary Coatney Phenomeon will cease after a record breaking 1000 posts. The sets are in the process of being broken down even I write this.

I know you guys are really broken up about this - but I'm afraid it's time to put away the napalm and the anthrax that's you been waiting to throw at me back on the shelf and save it for your grandkids.

I figure it's better to end on a high note - just as when Chris Carter did when he ended the X-Files.

I was orginally going to put myself on trial for crimes against cyber humanity. Have you guys rack up all the charges on my rap sheet that I've made over the previous posts concerning items of sexism, the bestiality of striking MTA workers, and how I extol in the virtues of cunnilingus of being more than a contact sport - but then I thought, nah - that could run on forever and I decided it better if all of you just executed me now.

Although, it might have been fun to see how it all turned out.


I promise not to tell your mom or dad.

There is nothing personal against anyone on this forum - it just that I've reached a stage of burn out posting on this board. I've run out of unique ways of posting replies. I don't think before I post - I just write down the first thing that comes out of my fingertips without any reasonable rationale and I'd be the first to admit - it's just degrading that I can't rise to any acceptable modicum of competency.

You're all on a higher intellectual plateau above me and I just can't climb to keep up any longer.

Then again, I could be a lying sack of shit and might prove you wrong in the eventuality that my comics start selling and I get that big movie option in the sky.

But the truth is - a lot is going on right now with work at the studio (we've just wrapped production on Constantine and I suspect the cameras are going to start to roll on the new Batman - and this going to create a big headache of journals to keep track of).

Plus- thoughts of closing the store that I've been associated with to close to ten years in some work related capacity due to the death of the owner has got me in the doldrums, and that melancholy has just been reinforced by the passing of Julius Schwartz - which goes to show that the words to a Rush song that I'm so fond of ' learning that we're only immortal for a limited time ' never sounded more truer.

But I'll keep plugging away on with my self published book, 'The Deposit Man' and other related shorts (hopefully to see print soon in Heavy Metal magazine) with my collaborator, Larry Nadolsky.

So fond farewells to all of you - Some great spars were had with the likes of SIRSCOTTIE, LORNAM, JIMMASSEY and a host of others.

And Thank you Mr. Evans for a being such a gracious host.

One day I promise BRENDAN516 that I will come to realize the difference between a trademark and a copyright. I'm working on it.

And thanks to Heidi for pointing me in the direction of starting my own blog.

And of course, it still astounds me that DR CHARLIE PHIL-CHU goes to such lengths to psychoanalyze me when I was already reading Denny O'Neil and Denys Cowan's version of THE QUESTION while he probably was in diapers.

But best of all - to commerate this monumental occasion (and my fortieth birthday)- I wouldn't mind planning a little meet and greet at; say...JUMBO's CLOWN ROOM some months down the road? I'd probably buy the first round...

but wait a minute- this is supposed to be cyberspace. None of guys are supposed to be real.

Ok - well, more strippers for me then!!!


Cary Coatney


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