The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

HERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN'T EAT AT QUIZNO'S that's much better. This is the makings of a great sandwich. Two slices of Denise while Shannon and I can be the meat. Posted by Hello

It gladdens my heart when I see or hear when a Hollywood couple doesn't make it. Last week, Denise Richards did the wise thing to split from Charlie 'blow your load in Heidi Fleiss's black book' Sheen and now it's Shannon Elizabeth turn to say you're 'punk'd' to Joseph Reitman.

Isn't Hollywood love grand? Gals, when things get too complicated or superfluous- there's us normal blue collar joes out here with a shoulder for you to cry on- unless, know,...have to keep within your parameters of your fancy-schmancy elitism and simply have to date pockmarked faced actors and greasy jew arab shieks.

I've seen both actresses up close, and they're not all that. Well actually Shannon is nice and sweet- she signed an autograph for me. But Denise...?

Here's a e-mail I sent to my brother out in Nebraska after he was elated to learn that two time Oscar Winning Actress Hilary Swank once lived in Lincoln at a house down the street from him:

My brother: Found out Hillary Swank lived in my wifes house when she lived in Lincoln. 1110 Butler Ave. Hillary was born here.

Me: That's interesting. I moved last year from the house in Sherman Oaks, Ca where the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz died in that I have been in for the past eight years. Yeah, I heard she was from Nebraska.

I saw in the news this morning that chaplipped Charlie Sheen is divorcing Denise Richards. That's the best news I've heard all week - Thing is though- I was seeing Million Dollar Baby at the Sherman Oaks Galleria and I swore I was standing in back of someone at the concession stand who looked like Denise Richards without any makeup- but I was telling myself that it couldn't be her because this woman looks like she's going to pop a kid out at any second. It looked like she was seeing a movie with her mom- so there wasn't anyone who looked liked Charlie Sheen lurking besides her. I didn't want to say anything to her. because I was all grungy looking and hadn't shaved in days.

But now I see on the net that Denise Richards is six months pregnant. I'm sitting here telling myself holy shit- that must have been her. That ass of hers close up was magnificent, though.

See the connection?

My brother: You should have offered her some of your popcorn or Milk Duds.

Sigh. So it goes.




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