The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

PP Guru:

KERRY TELLS IT LIKE IT IS

The PP Guru would like to stay and chat tonight about new DVD releases like he usually does on every Tuesday - but he has to leave early and go to the mall to shop for some black attire for one of his favorite female acquaintances who is having a birthday party tomorrow out in Silver Lake. The Tantalizing Tara of Termite Tattertots has made a request that everyone comes garbed in black and to eat and drink lots of wine and cheese. Maybe the reason is because that black is supposed to be so stain resistant- in case the PP Guru spills it on everyone- it's been a while since he properly held a wine class in his foddling little hands.

Which is kinda silly, because the PP Guru usually comes to these special soirees dressed in purple. The PP Guru in black attire? C'mon
Tantalizing Tara of Termite Tattertots - where is your fashion sense? PP Gurus don't come in black - they come in purple.

Silly Bunny.

So - in the meantime - while the PP Guru is perusing through the many men's stores over at the Fashion Square Mall in Sherman Oaks, maybe he'll get lucky in trying to score a mannequin's phone number over at Bloomingdales's - Dry Drunk Dubya will try to justify (once again) the bloodshed going in Iraq on national TV. What a shame, the PP Guru will be missing out on this summer's GOP infomercial - especially when there's nothing good on the tube other than more stupid Fear Factor reruns. But that 's why the PP Guru is continously racking up the APR rate on his fun cards on the infinite barrage of DVD boxsets- so he doesn't have to hear such fresh squeezed anal swill emitting from the mouth of the mindless tonight- when you have such new releases to crack open like the Judith Light Country Club Season 5 - no wait- the PP Guru meant to say the Fifth Season of Oz:

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Back when the PP Guru was still kicking back at Parsippany High School in Parsippany N.J. i - he was regarded by his evil-stepfather - EGO MANIAC ROGER with far more frequency as a 'juvenile delinquent' than the local police precinct did. He said: 'and you're going to sit at home and watch this show that's going to be on tv tonight called 'SCARED STRAIGHT'! That will straighten your shit out!!"

Oh pleeeeze! If OZ were around back in the day of platform shoes and draw string pants- you would made a believer out of me then. You ever see the episode where one inmate' s pocket frank and beans gets chomped and spit out by another inmate while he getting his knob polished?

That would be a good reason to go straight right there.

'Scared Straight' - jeez, even Romper Room was more scarier.

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If you'll going to be watching the GW Bush version of Wheel of Fortune coming to you live from Ft.Bragg, N.C and you're wondering why you're still watching a damn blasted cartoon - why not pop one of these puppies in instead - because the Bush Administration is starting to look a little bit more and more like a real life cartoon anyway. The second DVD box collection of Ren & Stimpy is partially powered by John K depleted energy sources (John Kricfalusi didn't stay long after most of these episodes aired- due to Nickelodon's infernal interference ). It's certainly better than getting that same old song and dance from Broken Record Bush taking up the entire width of your HD-TV. Once The PP Guru gets this in his collection, he'll talk more about it.

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And for those tuning in tonight without close captioning for the hard to enunicate a complete sentence - John F. Kerry gives a translation of his strategy that he has been hiding in plain sight since the last November elections written up in a editorial to the New York Times. Read this in case- you can't decipher what a single fucking solitary word Flop ears and his cabinet of blood thirty cock sucking vampires is coming out of their mucus clotted throats.

Sparky will have something to say for the rest of the week.

As maxed out to:

~

Coat


















2 Comments:

  • At 4:13 PM , Blogger Talking Tina said...

    LOL COAT. I read the slop and its classic Kerry. TY GOD FOR NOT LETTING THE SON OF SATAN BECOME PRESIDENT! WOOT

     
  • At 8:04 AM , Blogger Coat said...

    Yer a funny gal. An odd one- but a funny one nonetheless.

    I love you sometimes...always never.

    ~

    Coat

     

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