STRANGE DESERTED
ISLAND STIRRINGS
BELOW THE PP GURU's BELT

(AKA Comic Con Crotchrot Jargon Report # 3)


Although the PP Guru didn't have a whole alot of time to utilize the fun factor at this year's San Diego Comic Con International such as asking for autograph hand outs from the cascade of celebrities that festered the halls (he hardly saw any lurking other than Bruce Campbell being escorted to the men's room by convention security or stumbled across some of the cast of the new Battlestar Galactica ), attending masquerade balls, or seeing sneak previews of upcoming movies ( the PP Guru would have loved to have attended the new King Kong or the cult favorite, Serenity). Instead, he was too engaged at a table touting Cary Coatney's Deposit Man products (fucking slavedriver!!), scurrying around for writing jobs, and pestering Maggie Thompson about advertising rates in the new monthly Comics Buyer's Guide. The PP Guru spent a lot of time of his time snapping digital glossies of some comic-con females attendees and their spandex posteriors...while their husbands or significant others weren't watching!! Besides, doing some shopping ( Yay! PP Guru scored the new season of Doctor Who on DVD - bootlegged ), all the PP Guru made personal con downtime were for two panels: one a tribute to the late Bill Liebowitz and the other dealing on the subject of comic book weirdoes doing their own blogs.

Some speaking on the panel were quite notorious for their comic book antics, most notably Mark Evanier, Variety's Tom McLean ,Peter David. Comics Journal Tom Spurgeon was there in not a very bloggy like capacity (he hates when people comment on his blog- he may not allow comments on his- however, the PP Guru allows comments on his) and of course, you can't dive into the subject of blogging without everyone's favorite Queen of all Cyber Silloquays Heidi MacDonald being in attendance. When everyone seated in the audience had to go around the room and introduce himw or herself to tell everybody else what it is they do on their blog., Heidi took it upon herself to out the PP Guru....


The Guru could talk about crushes ... but no ...

right ...

in front ...

of everyone ...

She acted as if she were the one responsible for creating this monstrosity of a blog of what you see before you now.

"And who was it who told you to start blogging, PP Guru?" she asked as she spotted the PP Guru in the audience. How that can that be? The PP Guru was supposedly dressed in camouflage. Now the PP Guru knows how Valerie Plame must feel.

Then a silent pause to ponder that conundrum ambush that the PP Guru has stumbled upon...

....wait.

Aha! The PP Guru has got it!

It was....

Scarlett Johansson!

Yeah, that's it, he answered. Scarlett Johansson taught the PP Guru how to blog.

And he is extremely grateful as you can see here:







Now it isn't as if the PP Guru can't give Heidi a little credit for something. After all, the PP Guru has been following her remarkable innovative career for some time since the summer of 1989 when he was first introduced to her by a remarkable comic book creator who will only go by the initials of HC at a San Diego Comic Con which he first attended on all four days while staying at a room in the US Grant (a really cool hotel built around the turn of the last century).

Now HC has always had a reputation of going a little overboard with some off-the-wall borderline sexist comments - it's no secret from those who are in awe of his work. It was a Friday and it was just after the first Eisner Awards (what used to the Kirby Awards) ceremony where the PP Guru first met Heidi wearing a somewhat mini-skirt decked out with leotards that had tiger prints all over it. At the time, just a little inebriated, the PP Guru was just simply admiring the view of those mesmerizing tights when all of a sudden HC blasted out with this rather loud and abashing comment: "Hey Heidi- with stockings like that - you almost look like a halfway decent piece of ass! " The PP Guru was shocked that such a esteemed professional such as HC would stoop to such an incorrigible level to say something so derogatory to a fellow colleague. But like a lemming or a loon, the PP Guru was too young to understand the ways of the world back then and therefore thought the safest thing for him would be just to chuckle into his glass of wine on the rocks as Heidi and HC traded crude verbage blows amongst themselves.

Then Heidi heard the PP Guru smirking at HC's crude remark, took a leather glove out of her Felix the Cat purse and smacked the PP Guru right across the face with it. The PP Guru definitely saw stars at the Doubletree Hotel that night (it's called something else now- but it's still centrally located at Horten Plaza) before collapsing in a drunken heap upon a piano bench.
And that's the story of how the PP Guru was introduced to Heidi that night. A conversation about dolphins and endorphins somehow played a role of provoking Heidi's ire that same evening but the PP Guru vaguely goes into comic con flashback mode these days.

Sixteen years later, the PP Guru is still trying to shake off that concussion, and since in that time, the accordian-playing girl with the good left hook has managed to influence plenty of people in the comic book industry to follow in her footsteps. She has worked her journalistic Tae Kwon Do skills on the Comics Journal, the LA Weekly, has edited for both Disney and DC/Vertigo comics, and was instrumental in founding the Friends of Lulu- an organization devoted into getting young girls (and boys) and women interested in partcipating in the reading world of comic books.

Now how can anyone top that level of accomplishment?

Well reportly now she has served as a stand-in for Scarlett in Lost in Translation and the new Michael Bay sci-fi flick, The Island which opens in theaters today through Dreamworks and that company that the PP Guru works for.

The PP Guru swears that's what Heidi told the PP Guru last time he saw her.

Of course, Scarlett has stepped into the PP Guru's heart with this picture:





Demerolly induced to:

~

Coat: