The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Monday, September 26, 2005


Lusty babes, strategic militant war plans gone terribly awry, an exodus in a struggle for survival, suicide bombing androids gone amuck, robots who can morph into lusty babes by sheer will power, lusty babes who can pilot starships into the heat of a dogfight and blow up enemy strongholds with a flick of a wrist, and then can submit themselves for a good old fashioned game of grabass are just a few of the many elements that make the Sci-Fi channel's engrossing revision of Battlestar Galactica one of the most endearing series in science fiction television history.

After the PP Guru recieved some VHS emmy consideration screeners from one of his co-workers - he knew that he would have to cave in and splurge for the entire first season collection that was released on DVD last week and he hasn't regretted it since. The DVD set (list price: $59.95 but most likely you'll be able to find it cheaper at most Best Buy and Fry's Electronics) not only has the thirteen episode first season but also includes the four hour prequel mini-series that set the tone for the series. Nearly every episode has a commentary track by head director Michael Rymer and executive producers David Eick and Ronald Moore (of Star Trek series fame - pick from any that followed Next Generation. And the PP Guru would like to point out that Ronald's former partner on Star Trek, Brannon Braga does equally fine work on the new CBS series, Threshold, too. And he's not saying that because he's big Carla Gugino fan either), behind the scenes documentaries, and nearly an hour of deleted scenes. So the PP Guru recommends this set just for the sheer endless hours of ENTERTAINMENT value it gives for your buck.

At first the PP Guru merely scoffed at the idea that Battlestar Galactica was getting the reboot. He watched episodes here and there of the old series - he couldn't follow it in its' entirety because his douche bag stepfather, the ego-mananical and abominable - in sorely need of a REALITY CHECK ROGER would not allow him to watch it because it used to be on Sunday nights and that was the night when he would stay home when he wasn't out helping to drink all the profits up at the watering holes that he used to work at. What the PP Guru could recall was that it was a poorly executed rehash of the Star War movies at the time- but with a ingenious premise: the last remnants of a surviving colony on the run from a subjugating species are on a quest for the lost planet or star called Earth and are racing to beat the clock before these mechanical non-entities come and vaporize their asses. What little the PP Guru remembers of the series is that he got bored pretty quick in the middle of it when he realized that they were using the same stock footage of starship dogfights that seemed to meander on into every episode that he couldn't differentiate one from the next. The stories and plots just never seemed to gell or move forward. Surprisingly enough the PP Guru was shocked to hear that this show was his younger brother's all-time favorite television show (remember, we did not grow up together).

You don't want this version - this is the special
Best Buy edition of the series that was first distributed
in the U.K. Does not include the four hour
introductory mini-series!!

"Are you kidding me, PP Guru Jr.? What about all those Doctor Who episodes your older brother, the PP Guru taped for you or the Doc Savage books he passed on to you? Have you guru, lost all sense of decendency?

Regardless of all the deterrents the PP Guru offered his little brother, the PP Guru Jr., Battlestar Galactica remains his favorite show. (Jonathan Harris told Sparky he got paid best by this show)

The PP Guru can't fathom why. It surely couldn't have been Lorne Greene in the role of Cmdr Adama- man, what a stingy old fart he was. Dirk Benedict surely achieved bigger fame and probably recieved better blow jobs while he was Faceman on the A-Team rather than his rogue gung ho happy role of Starbuck. Richard Hatch still walks up to people to this very day and introduces himself as Captain Apollo to everyone and was probably the first one to pester people into getting a revival up and running- jeez, the guy still writes cheap dime novels based on his character and signs them as such- they had to give him a role on the new series...or least work out some profit sharing just to stop his goddamn whining. Jane Seymour's ass was nice to look at ... BACK THEN before she had to don her pioneer battletogs for that Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman show. Talk about celibracy gone amok. Ed Begley Jr and Rick Springfield had small supporting roles on the series as well and how can one forget former British Intelligence Agent, John Steed aka Patrick MacNee dastardly turn as the voice of a Cylon Imperious Leader?

< style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; font-family: lucida grande;">Yuck.
Herb Jefferson, Jr. who took a turn for the worse as Boomer is regaled to nothing but showing up at Los Angeles comic book conventions trying to sell his autographed pictures to people that don't give him the time of day.

Now in the revamp version - practically all of the hot shot pilots in the show have been replaced by women and it no longer has have any trace of that little dipshit kid who was doing these unspeakable acts of beastality to that pet robot canine of his. Grace Park has now had a sex change operation and calls herself Boomer as well as Katee Sackhoff assuming the role of Starbuck. The premise of the series is nearly the same, with the exception that everything is commandeered by a woman president played by Mary McDonnell (who looks positively fetching for a 52 year old) who is not only seeking escape from the impeding threat of total annihilation by the Cylons but has to lead in the search of precious life sustaining sustences such as water as evident of the spearing of the fleet's water carrying vessel during a space battle with the Cylons in the episode "Water" . The Adama role is now portrayed magnificently by Edward James Olmos - who hasn't been this hard- assed since his days on Miami Vice. Watch the episode in which Adama faces a military investigation and tribunal following a ill fated attempt to stop a sucide bomber in 'Litmus' and see if you're not left with your jaw hanging, which in the PP Guru's humble opinion should have landed him a well deserved emmy nomination.

Like the PP Guru says- it's one of the most riveting series on televison right this very moment, it's topics such as ecological disasters, taboo infidelity amongst the sexes in ranks, beating the freaking holy Allah shit out of Iraqi priso- er, the PP Guru means Cylon prisoners, and political smear shenanigans puts this on even par with such shows as 24 or the West Wing. The PP Guru highly recommends that you get on with the program mister.

And goddamn, if that chick who plays that evil bitch cylon isn't on the PP Guru's must do immediately list. That is one hell of a lubricated ten kleenex- in- fist woman. Giddy up space cowboy and shoot your stargram out to:




Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home