The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Friday, September 09, 2005

GURU: STRANGE SISTA' STIRRINGS BELOW THE PP GURU's BELT

Why hasn't the PP Guru been sharing his fantasies of sistas lately? There haven't many spotlighted in the media all summer, that's for sure. Sure, the PP Guru could peruse or flip through the resources of Jet or Ebony, or better yet, King's magazine -

but most of those big booties you see on there usually intimidates the PP Guru. Don't get the PP Guru wrong, he doesn't have a unkind word up to say to the sisters. He loves them simply because they know how to satisfy the white guy. He personally thinks they are the best race of superhuman to go on all doggy fours with and none are immune from the irresistible charms of the PP Guru tongue piercing battering ram when they spread wide their pork chops for them - and the PP Guru happily obliges only because he feels their pain and sympathizes their sad stories of how their out brutha's don't like to please in that area of the woods.

So even though the PP Guru has a guilt streak running through him- he wants to make it up this week by focusing his every seven day libidinal rationale for once to the African American female form and who better to start with than: Tyra Banks?

The PP Guru would love to shake the hand of the marketing genius who came up with the idea of giving a Victoria Secret model her own talk show. Believe the PP Guru when he says this will be a runaway hit ratings sensation. Can you imagine topping off your show with a models running up and down a gangplank with nothing but their lacy frillies? If the PP Guru only had Tivo, he wouldn't be calling some Hamburger Helper welfare recipent skank ho to flush out his toxic seeds every so often. He'd be in front of his tiny twelve inch with the jurgens at the armchair rest. Be it so often, you unemployed and low income hurricane refugees will have your work cut out for you when the Tyra Banks Show premieres this September 12th through your local WB network affiliate. So check your local listings. You lucky devils, the PP Guru wishes he could take in a bottle of Thunderbird wrapped up in a paper bag and partake a few hour long sessions on his mystery stained loveseat.

It was what he was trained to do when America's Top Model was on.

Choking the chicken aboard the soul train for:

~

Coat



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