GURUVERSE: THE PP GURU LIVING WITH REMORSE ON PURGATORY ROAD

The PP Guru is still holed up at his Papa PP Guru's house in Las Vegas. Coincidently, lots of headline news has been circulating during his stay here. Pat Morita, as Sparky noted before, had passed away on Thanksgiving and was buried in a cemetary over in Green Valley, not too far from where his Papa PP Guru works. Lots of the Hollywood elite had either attended or phoned in their condolences to his family (his wife is a pretty young hot thing from what the PP Guru has seen from the local tv news coverage). Just the other day, a SWAT manhunt converged on a escaped from prison armed robbery convict who has been on the lam for the past three months and has the ACLU pretty miffed after seeing a newsreport from an eye in the sky helicopter that one of the arresting officers cold cocked the suspect right in the back of the head while he was handcuffed. A lot of talk is also centered around about building a subway out here- which is a totally ludicrious idea seeing as how people can walk from one end of the strip to the other in a matter of minutes. Traffic may always be snarled on the strip 24/7, 365 days a year, but a city as small as Las Vegas is just pushing to reach into the coiffures of all it's tax paying citizens just to accommodate tourists and the PP Guru thinks that the residents will not let this go down without a fight.

Now that the PP Guru is down a little bit on expenditures (that $ 216 one arm bandit high didn't last too long, once the PP Guru realized that he had a credit card payment that was looming near it's deadline- so most of those winnings went to taking care of that tab- plus add in overnight packages out to the EDD and Warner Bros concerning his separation agreements and it's easy come and easy go), the PP Guru is watching on how to feed his presidential paper rations to those money sucking progressives. He lost in a bingo tournament yesterday with Obi-Wan Danobi. So instead of eating at Applebee's or flamin' filet mignon steakhouses, he's eating more at Panda Inn or grabing a happy meal or staying at the Papa PP Guru's house eating whatever his step mom is fixing at home. Instead of taxi's, he's been using the local transit system, that's currently using these new double decker buses that go back and forth all over the strip called the Deuce. The only drawback is that it drops you off at a transit station where the PP Guru has to transfer to another bus to get back to his Papa PP Guru's house and that can sometimes take from up to an hour to wait- but luckily, the transit center has some cheeseball poker progressives to help widdle away the time.

Another reason for the lengthy stay at the Papa PP Guru's house is to take a breather from the nightmare that has recently become part of the PP Guru's normal day to day grind. The PP Guru has been unemplyed for two months now and it's unlikely the PP Guru won't return to the work force until sometime into the new year. Everyday, the PP Guru has fallen in the tired routine of going to the library each day and e-mailing resumes to entertainment companies. His alter ego, Cary Coatney has an account on Monster.com, but each time he posts a resume for a possible entertainment employer - he gets back job offers from financial institutions and insurance companies that want to lowball his salary than what it's worth. The PP Guru can not fathom what part of Entertainment clerk typist / data entry operator they fail to understand. However, on the freelance writing end of the stick, just before the PP Guru left for Vegas, he did finally get to see what one of the stories he wrote for Heavy Metal with Larry Nadolsky looks like. Also the PP Guru is itching to get Tantalizing Tara of the Thetan Tetons' writing project done once he gets back home.

Another reason for the long sabbatical is that despite the warning of colleagues and close friends, the PP Guru has indeed fallen head over heels in love with his *ahem* film star neighbor, Rikki. He cannot no longer deny it - the heart is dictating more than what the little head is telling him- that's no longer a struggle for a lustful stranglehold. The PP Guru thought that maybe not seeing her on a day to day basis would sort of taper off his yearning for her- but such is not the case. He realizes, he misses the shit out of her. Deep down, the reason the PP Guru wanted to come here was to fulfill completing a task that he was under the asumption that she wanted him to do for her that required using some of his creative writing super powers. The PP Guru composed it for her...or he started to composing it once he got a e-mail from her wishing him a happy smile and wonderful day. Sometimes, the PP Guru thinks that he's going down a ratings dive in this 'whatever it is' relationship ( the PP Guru, or rather, his nom de plume of Cary Coatney doesn't go around saying to people that she is his girlfriend, although a good friend of his did tell him over his 50th birthday celebration that going out to fetch a bean and cheese burrito and a Starbucks Mocha at 5 in the morning for her does constitute a boyfriend / girlfriend running theme- go figure) with the fear that he simply doesn't wow her anymore with the keyboard sernading, the helping out with house chores, or the HBO dvd borrowing - but then when the PP Guru gets this e-mail from her — it gives the PP Guru pause to wonder — that maybe there is a sense to wonderment to all this after all.

Like the PP Guru mentioned in another short entry, Rikki had hurt herself in a accident, and believe it or not - it was a premonition that the PP Guru had in a dream just a few days before we both had a major blow out (Damn the PP Guru's precog abilities!!) - or to put in a better term - the PP Guru was showing off his spoiled brat side to her, when the PP Guru wanted so desperately to have her watch his new Batman Begins dvd with her and she couldn't make the time to do so. On her end, she wanted the PP Guru to write something for her; a sort of PR piece for her *ahem* film star lifestyle - the PP Guru couldn't understand why she would want him to do this when we weren't that intimate with each other. Oh sure, we fiddled around some but nothing that would constitute as the full monty. The PP Guru failed to understand, that like him, she wasn't getting the updated google listings like she thought she deserved, and perhaps the PP Guru's wordsmith sway could help change all that. So there was a period of almost two weeks in which we didn't say a word to each other...until he heard her accident which could have endangered her life. It really was painful for the PP Guru to see her hobble around on a walker. The PP Guru couldn't stand by and see her suffer like this.. it was a heartless abandonment on his part, so he choked back his PP Guru pride and made amends with her, apologizing like the flunked Leykis 101 dropout that he really is and hopefully put himself back in the role of number one or two of people to depend on.

But since the PP Guru had holed himelf up here, he didn't think that she really didn't want have anything to do with him anymore until that e-mail came for him that was sent without any provocation on his part. He certainly didn't influence her to send it out - but it made the PP Guru gleeful that someone far away other than family actually thought of him. So he hopes that what he brings back for her from Caesar's Palace and the Paris Casino will make it worthwhile and put a smile back on her face that will last longer than a hour or so. Because despite what people's advice to the PP Guru - of her being the object of the PP Guru's affections, the PP Guru can't think of a day (other than our big blow out) when he doesn't yearn for her company. The amount of work that goes in keeping the most important thing running between us like a strange engine....is a knowledgable journey that can only come full circle in our tenure of friendship is worthwhile. It's a learning experience. So in lieu of all the obstacles that stand between us, the PP Guru is proud to have her as one of his closest confidents. And it turns out that after the PP Guru did complete the piece for her, and he called to tell her that he was about ready to post it for her - did she realize that maybe it wouldn't be a good idea after all. The PP Guru agreed that it was ok on his end too. Perhaps he'll submit to Analog magazine or something or maybe Uncle Harlan would get a kick out of it.

The way back home tomorrow. Face up or turn the wild card down on

~

Coat

P.S. Rebecca and family are doing fine. As the PP Guru mentioned in his last entry, Rebecca had gotten a little too tipsy after some heavy partying which caused to her to become dehydrated and lethargic. After her husband Cro-Mag drove her and the kids back home Saturday, she got back into her spirits after a much needed rest. She promises that she will never drink that excessively ever again.

Famous last words.