The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Saturday, July 30, 2005


Our 365th Post!

It's bleeping about time! If we were to go 365 times straight on this blog on a daily basis we would have a year's worth of material in the time space of....a year.

But instead, it has taken the PP Guru the length of about 2 and a half years to post a full year's worth of material on his blog. the PP Guru is not kidding. Just do the math.

So, on this Friday installment of Strange Stirrings, we won't have any conflicts of interest with Real life Strange Stirrings below the belt. No coverage of Heidi MacDonald, no Tantalizing Tara, or Jennnnnster to ( Boo Hoo Hoo - Jennnnnster is leaving the PP Guru holy land today for Northern California to get married- the PP Guru is certainly going to miss her blazing mesmerizing booty for all eternity- but hey, there's more acolytes in the sea) interfere with the Fantasy babes. Nope, here at PP Guru central HQ, we are free to allow our beedy peeping tom to eyes to wander over our regularly scheduled cheesecake cyberlicious glossies of popular actresses, singers, and models who making the current events these days unwrinkle your tight chaffing Levis around the middle.

So let's get down with Jessica Biel.

Jessica is starring in the new speculative thriller, Stealth which is being released today by Sony Pictures. The film also stars Josh Lucas & Academy Award winning actor, Jamie Foxx. In the near future, the Navy develops a fighter jet piloted by an artificial intelligence computer. The jet is placed on an aircraft carrier in the Pacific to learn combat manuevers from the human pilots aboard. But when the computer starts to take on a HAL like personality - look out, excuse yourself and fear the sky- like Jimi Hendrix would say. Also be on the lookout for a cameo role by Nicholas Hammond - the first actor to ever portray Spider-Man on screen. The PP Guru doesn't know if Sony putting Hammond in one of their movies was a joke on their part- maybe Hammond will put on the Spidey suit and crawl out on the rogue jet and try to easily guide it back to earth like he tried to do way back in Amazing Spider-Man # 1 when Astronaut John Jameson's space capsule went spiraling out of control.

Wait a second — Did the PP Guru just pass nerd gas? Anyway - back to Jessica.

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The PP Guru has so become enarmored with Jessica ever since her role as the Nightstalker, Abigail Whistler in the last Blade Trinity role. The PP Guru spent all last week with the DVD commentary with her, writer/director David Goyer, and co-star Ryan Reynolds (slated to be the next Flash whenever that gets around to being made)hooting and a-hollering about how she was made to buff up (check out those arms- holy shit- those muscles could maybe crush the PP Guru's windpipe or at least crush his fucking typing digits)and practice two hours a day on archery to the point where she became so fucking good that she shot a arrow right into the lense of a $ 300,000 dollar camera while shooting a scene (you can see what happens in the booper reel).
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So it's been said that Jessica achieved notoriety from starring on a few seasons of the WB's first hit drama, Seventh Heaven (family dramas being not one of the PP Guru's fortes) before she was let go from her contract for posing semi-nude for either Maxim or FHM magazine. The PP Guru is thinking what the big fucking deal, right? Well, it turns out that when she posed by the forementioned magazines, she was under age at the time...and that really irked the frog nads off the WB ex-mascot, Michigan J's peons.
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But hey that small act of derision made Jessica into a overnight sensation and the PP Guru would be proud to support Jessica's products and services. The PP Guru had the chance to chat with Jessica late last year at the Los Angeles Comic Book & Science Fiction Convention during a promotional stop for the third Blade Film- but he forgot what they talked about.

No matter. The only important thing is - Jessica strips down to her skivvies in Stealth and that's worth the $10.50 admission price. And how does the PP Guru know this? Why it's in the trailers.

And she's not even a high maintenance blonde. As rolled up and stuffed in a back pocket to:

~ Coat

Sparky adds this Infodump because he loves you all -

Jessica Biel

Jessica Claire Biel (born March 3, 1982 in Ely, Minnesota and raised in Colorado), is an American actress, best known as Mary Camden on the television drama 7th Heaven from 1996 to 2002. In 2000, she posed topless on the cover of Gear magazine. She is of German, Irish, and Choctaw ancestry.

In 2001, she enrolled in undergraduate study at Tufts University. She left before completing a degree program in order to pursue her acting career.

Actress Jessica Biel receives instructions on the ship’s helm from Seaman Redding after the Ms. Biel completed filming of the Hollywood motion picture "Stealth," aboard USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN 72). U.S. Navy photo by Photographer’s Mate 3rd Tyler J. Clements (RELEASED)


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(aside - this is the shiny bling bling blog style Sparky is trying to teach to the Guru)


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