GURU: STRANGE SQUEAKY CLEAN AND TOTALLY UNREALISTIC STIRRINGS BELOW THE PP GURU'S BELT

So the PP Guru has been pounding his beat in LA for the past month and so and has become morbidly curious about all these billboards and huge skyscraper murals, especially the one on the corner of Highland and Hollywood Boulevard that depict a half dozen or more than average "meat on your bones" wenches in brighty glistening white underpants.

Now don't get The PP Guru wrong, he likes to see women in their underpants - but this?


Why, it must be raid your grandma's panty drawer night!

Which seems to be the latest rage these days in this 'quote unquote 'PC world in which we live in when we have come down to the last resort of labeling 'these huskies' as attractive babes. For those who are not big time city folk, and don't get to pound the pavements of a spiriling metropolis city block day upon day - a city like Los Angeles is usually cluttered with billboards and bus placards enticing the public to pay oodles of cash to take in the latest cinema blockbuster. If the campaign doesn't click, then it winds up as the latest flop. So as Angelenos become so desensitized to the the flood of endless stinkbombs such as Dukes of Hazzard none would expect such a mammoth crusade from the Dove line of products to hawk cleansing soaps, lotions or cellulite creams from Dove to come creeping into our everyday commute.

They're certainly not your grandma's Ivory Soap Girls, that's for sure.

The PP Guru wouldn't mind tangling with some of them.

He wouldn't exactly kick them out of the sack, only the deity of your choice would know that the PP Guru has had his fair share of playing Ahab to a couple of great whites when the social black book chips were down. But if one were to tangle in trying to mount these hefty 'sugar wall' - you're going to have to take on their whole bleedin' 'sugar castles' as a consolation prize.

The PP Guru is trying his damnest to find out where did this whole ' campaign for real beauty' originated from. This little blurb from Wikipedia gives us some kind of idea:

The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty was an advertising campaign started by Dove in late-2004.

Gina Crisanti stands next to a Chicago billboard image of
herself posing in underwear for an ad campaign to sell
Dove Beauty products.

One billboard in the series asked viewers to phone 1-888-342-DOVE to vote on whether a woman on the billboard was "fat" or "fab". The results were posted real-time on the board. While a photo in the October 25, 2004 issue of Marketing Magazine shows "fab" leading 51% to 49%, eventually the percentage of "fat" votes overtook "fab", much to the chagrin of marketers. This campaign has also spurred on a phenomenon whereby attractive but slightly overweight women are referred to as Dove Beauties.

In 2005, Dove, a large company in the health product and beauty sector, released a series of ads featuring happy-looking, lingerie-clad women with "everyday" looks. Proponents of Dove's campaign say that the company is striving to generate change from within the generally weight-conscious advertisement industry. Such persons would say that the ads are in juxtaposition to typical advertisements that almost exclusively feature overly slender models with features corresponding to a European standard of beauty.

Hermes, Conductor of Souls with Athena, Goddess of Macrame and War
Bartholomaeus Spranger - Flemish Painter c. 1585 - defines the fleshier
standard of European women.

This term has also been used perjoratively to refer to attractive but largely overweight women.

So they took the campaign from Europe and started to hatch it in the midwestern city of Chicago, where they recruited all women with nine to fivers in their late twenties or early thirties.

The PP Guru assumes that when it comes to push to dove, there's just too much pushing for the cushion. But why the whities? Don't all women know that when you strip off the white bra and panties and stand in a magnificently posed and naked before the PP Guru and his little magic wand, that the PP Guru is going to give a disgruntled look of disgust when he sees that you left your soiled and skid-mark panties on his perfectly waxed linoleum floors?

What the hell is wrong with you? You wear black when you enter the somnolentistic bed chambers of the PP Guru.

As a ever changing flower told to:

~ Coat