The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Monday, September 26, 2005


The PP Guru was just thinking this morning, -- yeah, yeah , he knows, he knows, that it can be a rare commodity to some people- but please just bear with the PP Guru for a second.

All that pented up frustration writing down the PP Guru's memoirs as it pertained to Yes studio album release were rife with plenty of good memories- but were outshone by lot of bad stuff too. Now the PP Guru didn't make mention of the fact that when he was younger that he used to get into a plethora of fistcuffs with other cunt hungry gurus who were always out to cockblock the PP Guru's carnal commercing with female shaman squaws - they were chapters that the PP Guru purposily left out because they just would come off as too redundant. Recently those feelings have begun to slowly and horribly manifest again - now that the PP Guru has a *ahem* film star living next door to him.

So these current feelings of dread, both past and present along with other small triumphal fleeting moments of pathos were on the verge of being awarded it's own entire blog. It was approaching the point of where the PP Guru's alter-ego Cary Coatney wanted to wax philosophcial about nothing but life in general in a seperate blog altogether but the PP Guru was forced to hover a live wolverine under Coatney's naggas so that he would have had qualms of any fatherhood magically wiped away faster than flipping the on switch to a whirpooling jacuzzi. So schizophrenic blackmail had to be the order of the day where the palms were agreed to be spitted on after drying off with a power drill handshake whereas it is decreeded that his Coatney alter-ego would share everything- EVERYTHING that's going on with his private life.

The PP Guru hasn't had a chance for Cary Coatney to sing soprano on the fact that he bought a brand new Alesis QS6.2 synthesizer a few weeks ago to keep him warm on those long, long lonely winter nights. The PP Guru's old remaining rig, the Roland 3x JP synthesizer was calling it quits on the PP Guru; the keys were breaking down, sound patches were getting lost,and it just wasn't fun to play with anymore- much like if you were to be married to the same woman for 35 years, it's time to move on. The PP Guru had become been restless, his superlative powers of perfect pitch and the ability to recreate it on a keyboard was depleting of late, so in order to rev up some kick-ass motivation- the PP Guru felt it was time to inject some new tech blood in his system. So three weeks ago, the PP Guru was jacking off to some instruments that he had been reading about in Keyboard magazine of late and decided to go down to his nearest Guitar Center to fondle with some new instruments- much in the same way he would manhandle your iguana. Perferably, he would't have minded fondling with some of the cute salegirls he saw at the front counter - but that's all another death wish altogether. A salesperson going by the name of Ladies Man (huh, the PP Guru wonders why) made the PP Guru a good offer on his Alesis synthesizer, and also threw in a a group of foot pedals and a travel bag all for 500 buckeroos and some change. The PP Guru liked most of the factory preset songs on that particular board and immediately called his former roommate and assistant Becky to pick him up with his new slew of wires and circuitry. The board has real some beautiful expressive piano patches for its' price and that was what really sealed the deal.

One of the goals that the PP Guru has been aspiring to is the idea of writing and playing some song pieces based on Cary Coatney's comic book, the Deposit Man and take it out on the road with him to conventions and shows and maybe set up a tip jar at his small press table so that he can make his money back at the table by serenading the patrons. But where would influence stem from that would make the PP Guru take a magical digital piano out on the road with him and set it up to play maybe some ... lounge prog perhaps?

Now PP Guru, what the fuck is lounge prog?

Well maybe the best example to show you is by talking about these guys from Sweden:

The PP Guru has been going nuts over this album, Man Made Machine by Carptree just released a few weeks ago. The music is progressive rock stripped down to its' bare essentials - to mostly nothing but a lead vocalist ,Niclas Flinck singing some heady lyrics about spacemen and automatons and greek gods slugging it out with big giant clubs on a beach as it builds to a crescendo of cascading chorus of overdubbed female voices as keyboardist Carl Westholm weighs in with a simple accompaniment of various grand pianos with tiny smatterings of wobbly synth patches and mellotron added in. Some guitar & drums are added, but it's not prominent in every song and it's all wraped up in some brilliant surrealistic engineering and production. The PP Guru has been busy with his new keyboard in trying to ear train himself to the rainy staccato piano stabbing opening of Titans Clash Aggressively to Keep An Even Score to other rockier swirly titles such as In the Centre of an Empty Space, Tilting the Scales, and the Elton John/Captain Fantastic epic blockbuster inspired finale This is Home, only not with so much over the top pomposity. This is the duo's first effort for Insideout Music - but it's techincally their third album. The PP Guru will aggressively seek the first two, the self titled debut and their sophmore effort, Superhero at a later date.

The PP Guru knows he can do this kind of stuff in his sleep with one hand wrapped around his pelvis ! He knows he can. So the PP Guru went to Sparky's place and borrowed some books of Michael Moorcock and Robert Anton Wilson to inspire him in writing some of his own do- it- yourself lounge prog .

Anyway, the PP Guru wants to explain why he's titled this article Peyote Place-

Well, you see, it's like this: the current PP Guru living situation is ludicriously starting to become topsy turvy pathetic in his feeble attempts to win the affections of a * ahem* film star who has in moved next door - and he really means directly next door to the PP Guru. His bedroom and her bedroom are exactly aligned to the same floor plan so that if she even pounds hard on the wall to signal the PP Guru to turn down the Carptree or his Keyboard amp - or if ever a emergency situation ever arised, the PP Guru will rush on hand and sketcher foot to her rescue.

Lately it seems that the PP Guru has some competition going on. The PP Guru recently discovered that his roommate , you can call me Ray - but don't call me the late for dinner Ray Charles has mysteriously slipped the *ahem* film star neighbor his phone number. The PP Guru was hanging with his *ahem* film star neighbor last Saturday afternoon at his porch when she happened to reveal to him that in addition to Ray giving her his cell number, our upstairs neighbor Geoffrey who is not in a Rush gave her his number too. Now why hasn't the PP Guru given her his phone number? Because he shares it with Ray, that's why!!

Now The PP Guru has been trying to seduce or lure his *ahem* film star neighbor to him by serenading to her on his new magical carpet riding electrical vibrating piano after setting up shop on his porch or by lending her his Led Zeppelin DVD collection- it slowly seems to be catching on with her. But however, the *ahem* film star neighbor does not know that the PP Guru knows that she is a *ahem* film star neighbor . And he hasn't revealed to his competition that she is a *ahem* film star neighbor either ... a very big *ahem* film star neighbor too, in fact. Unless she's already told them- but the PP Guru doubts that she has, otherwise everyone would be bragging about it!!

However, the PP Guru couldn't help but think that maybe she was attracted to upstairs neighbor Geoffrey, who is not in too much of a Rush, maybe because that's he acts so big and cool and suave, and not to mention is black and probably swings a very big dick. Now the PP Guru knows he can't really compete with giant black dicks and ought to just write his concession speech right there and then, because one Saturday before last- he thought , while under the influence of consuming an entire whole bottle of yellowtail merlot (damn Aussie wines really pack quite a wallop if consumed all in one night), that he saw Geoffrey, who is not in too much of Rush scamper down to her apartment at 1 AM with a six pack of something in tow.

Now why would my *ahem* film star neighbor allow Geoffrey - who is not in too much of a Rush to come courting to her apartment at 1 AM in the fucking bleeding morning??

Because Big 1010 black cock wins - that's why. But the true answer is not what the PP Guru thinks as he was about to discover after a conversation with his upstairs neighbor with Geoffrey - who is not in too much of a Rush - revealed to him about that late night visit.

To be continued next Monday along with the PP Guru's day at Venice beach with Becky and Olivia which was quite a memorable event in itself.

When seven inches is not good enough to the:


What Sparky turned up when he got over laughing at two male apartment dwellers fighting for a tarnished prize:

Prog Rock Discography: “... Carptree is a 2-piece band consisting of Niclas Flinck (lead vocals) and Carl Westholm (keyboards) and also responsible for arrangements and production. They play their own kind of prog/pop music with a very personal and honest touch. Their music can to some extent be compared to some of Peter Gabriel's works or perhaps Marillion's later albums but this is only a way to try to give you a picture of how they sound.

Carptree’s 2001 self-titled first CD leans a bit more toward progressive-pop than "Superhero" but the potential that is fully realized on "Superhero" is very evident. This is highly enjoyable symph-pop with high emotional impact, superb melodic songwriting and interesting, tasteful arrangements supporting the unique voice of Flinck. The mix of these ingredients make this a fantastic album! A very strong release, maybe even a future classic. So start with "Superhero" and you’ll probably come back for their 1st CD as well. ...”

Taa - Coat looked like a deranged Man o' Mystery Sunday - Sparky


  • At 10:58 AM , Blogger 1 Romantic Wedding said...

    TV Brands ... The Web Influences
    Steve Rubel | Contributing Writer | 2005-09-27 Yesterday I moderated a panel at MediaPost's ... Rubel evangelizes the application of Weblogs and RSS in traditional public relations campaigns.
    Yesterday I decided to read some blogs and found yours. Nice blog. I am trying to get ideas on the direction I should go and what it should look like
    I have a inexpensive weddings site/blog. It pretty much covers inexpensive weddings and related stuff. Come and check it out if you get time

  • At 11:59 AM , Blogger Coat said...

    Well good for you 1 Romantic Wedding,

    However, the PP Guru condones the entire concept of marriage on his blog and does not approve the endorsement of any of your lame ass products.

    This is a blog only for men who enjoy the daily attributes and benefits of bending down to sniff, fingerbang, lick, and worship the almighty twat - and then wake up the following morning as if nothing has ever happened.

    But thanks for playing-




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