FIFTEEN MINUTE BREAK June 12, 2003

Please excuse my absence from yesterday. All day yesterday and half of today- I had to take a group psychological evaluation on how well I interact with other co-workers and I also had a meeting this morning to discuss my performance review. Now that my four month probation period is over, I can go ahead and start taking classes to improve or fine tune some skills such as Outlook, or maybe some Power Point, or maybe get into some Photoshop.

The other day I was setting up a memorable skirmish that occurred between the ROGER and I in the summer of 1977, other than a minor infraction sneaking off to hitchhike 10 miles to see Star Wars because the ROGER wouldn't allow me to see it unless I got a haircut- I gave him the standard equivalent of a thirteen year old 'flip the bird' and went and saw it anyway. That didn't bode too well with his discipline track record. But, that incident was mild compared as to when we drove up to New England to bring back the ROGER's niece; who's name I no longer remember- so from here on in, I will only refer her to as the PARASOMNIA BEDWETTER. She came down to spend the summer with us. This wasn't the daughter of the Terrible TERRY, but from some other flipped out sister of the ROGER and she was closer to my age than my half sister was - or maybe it was straight down the middle- anyway, I forget. From the moment she unpacked, she immediately took over my side of the room so that her and my sister could form a bond. For a while they got along famously- almost like if they were sharing some psychic link between two cousins. They went and played everywhere together and the PB was equally, if not more, just as a big of a pain in the ass as my sister was (Her nickname for me was Ski Slope Nose). However, somewhere along the line, the PB started to develop symptoms of a social disorder even as to much as keeping them well hidden from her UNCLE ROGER .

I also remember that was the time when I first started watching the reruns of the first season of Saturday Night Live (I was friends in school with one of the sons of one of the directors on that show- and I think that was how I first became aware of it) and since I got kicked to the curb of the living room couch, I had the run of the big 32 inch cover television/ turntable and eight track stereo system until the ROGER would come home from work at 3 AM in the morning. Then I would have to pretend to be asleep.

So while I was laughing my ass off the Saturday Night Live skits- the PB appeared out of the dark, looked me over, and walked over to the kitchen. Trying to be a nice accommodating step-cousin, I offered to pour her a drink of water- but oddly enough when I asked her what she wanted, she wouldn't answer me- she just stood like a statue with a blank stare. Then I snapped my finger in front of her face, and in all of a sudden she cocked her head in a Linda Blair sort of way and bellowed at me, WHY DON"T YOU SHUT UP ?? at the top of her lungs before turning around to walk back.

Well, that was strange.

I didn't give it any further thought when I sat back to resume watching my program. Then, minutes later, I heard a succession of high pitched screams eminating from my room. I had positively thought my sister and her had got into a big knockabout brawl at one in the morning- but-

When I came bursting into the door what did I find?

I found the PB jumping up and down on my bed like a raving lunatic with the feathers of my goosedown pillow flying everywhere while screaming at the top of her lungs. My sister had just woken up and began freaking out, trying to hold in both her frightened sobs as she remained huddled in the corner of her bed witnessing her cousin being strangely possessed. I thought back to the Terrible TERRY and her inadmissible wire tap and realized then, that maybe my captured half crocked answers about SATAN wasn't too far off the mark- only I meant every word of it as pertaining to the ROGER's family.

My mother had gotten out of bed and found someway to quell the situation. She told me to vamoose or to get out of the way while she tore off my sheets and discarded them into the hamper. I asked my mom what the hell was going on her? My mom simply informed me that she pissed all over them. But why did she yell at me in the kitchen and jump up and down my mattress like a some stupid idiot? My mother expounded my curiosity and said that she was sleepwalking and whatever PB said to you out in the kitchen was only what she was talking to you in a dream'.

Tomorrow I'll continue on with a conflict that arose between a pool lifeguard, the PB, and me that had the ROGER go all out berserk on me.

My fifteen minutes has been up for quite some time,
!
~

Coat