BRING ME THE
HEAD OF THE
DISCO CLOCK KING ...


The face of the Disco Clock King:
This is your face on too much ass -cid


It's been nearly over a month since the PP Guru had vanquished one of his long time foes - Georgie-Girl Cocksuctoupis 'aka' “The Disco Clock King” and he hasn't really had the time to reflect on the nasty flashbacks.

For nearly four years, the PP Guru has had to endure his nefarious constant ribbing and his inane ability to mimic a parrot that would say nothing but 4 limited word and phrases in a Brooklyn accent like some stupid organ grinder's pet monkey . Words like "yeah", "is that what you think?" "huh?" or "yeah, chicken bake" were heard constantly day in and day out like the hourly insanity of a koo koo clock. And last, but not least, he had this vicarious ability to recite birthdays and anniversaries, not just with the people he worked with, mind you, but their friends and family members- and he would keep them tacked up to his wall in his cubicle!! This would literally freak people on the job and some would attest that the creepy movie that Robin Williams did a few years back called "One Hour Photo" was a loose biography based on The Disco Clock King's antics

And everything he had to do, he had to do it in such a anal retentive manner. That meant every break and lunch had to be taken at the precise moment, right... on...the...dot. At the end of the work-day, he had to clear up his desk at a certain time. He had to apply lotion to his hands at the same time as he did the day before. HE had to be at the time clock a certain time, so that HE would be the first to punch out and be on the highway to get home to do guru knows whatever it was that was so bloody important to do. That is why the PP Guru feels he had earned the mission code-word: " The Disco Clock King" because in addition to having to standing around and having to do everything to pinpoint accuracy - he was a tremendous David Bowie fan and held a grudge to the PP Guru's lack of interest in the lastest CD that the Thin White Duke had put out. The Disco Clock King wanted to burn a copy for the PP Guru- but the PP Guru flatly refused- because the PP Guru doesn't support ....entertainment piracy. And if the PP Guru had agreed to receive such contraband - he would have been totally dissatisfied with the product because it wouldn't have contained all the album liner notes and lyrics- but the PP Guru did settle for a burnt copy of a old Scary Monsters CD because the PP Guru left that in the nest that he was once occupied in New Jersey and hadn't heard it in twenty plus years.

But it's not proper for the PP Guru to act as a hypocrite on his own blog.

Let's get back to my nemesis' debased list of atrocities, shall we?

The Disco Clock King also had this annoying habit of pulling the PP Guru aside every so often and inquired about his fornicating activities from the previous evenings before (if any- The PP Guru has been know on occasion to fall into bouts of funked out celibracy) . If the PP Guru was out on his way in a hurry to meet a date somewhere or was out of the town for a week that required lodgings- the Disco Clock King always had to weigh in on the gossip.

The Disco Clock King would also be going around vocalizing his carnal desires of what he thought of his fellow co-workers, even as to go so far as to recite jokes and stories of a copulating nature- despite the fact that the PP Guru and the rest in his department each had to attend sexual harrassment seminars.

But- he did happen to tell The PP Guru one of the most funniest jokes that he had ever heard and it's had to block out of his head....

It goes a little like this.....

A young Polish couple are driving through Central Park and they pull over close to Strawberry Fields someplace to do a little hanky-panky.

The young tactile Polish guy is getting it all hot and heavy with his Polish honey in the back seat. He's kissing her all over- his hands groping her fine ample breasts stored beneath the veil of a NYU sweatshirt. She moans and is almost passionate to the point of no-return until she bursts out yelling - "Oh, oh, yes baby, baby- kiss me where it smells !!!

The young Polish guy, all a- panting pauses under hyperventilated raspy breathing and asks his studious voluptuous campanion, 'are you sure you want me to do that to you?'

'Oh yes, yes, yes....You must do it quick You must....KISS ME WHERE IT SMELLS!!"

The Polish lad shrugs his shoulders with a bewildered look and revs up the car engine ...

...and drives out to New Jersey.

Yeah, that was a real groin puller to the PP Guru, but you know what they say...
you can't make up for all your past mistakes. From there, The Disco Clock King dealt several treacherous blows to members on his team especially when it came to reporting certain questionable activities he had bore witness to our big boss, KATHY THE GREAT. And then the E-mails would swope like riddled rapid AK-47 gunfire to all our Outlook mail boxes calling for the scruntization of any leisurely activities such as taking 2 hour lunches, discussing current events of what you've seen on television and radio ( which is a odd rule when working for a entertainment company), and reading e-mails for a considerable length of time-

What a fucking wanker... What are we back in the fucking third grade?

What really irks the PP Guru is that he once viewed his arch-enemy as man of honor and integrity...for the PP Guru had retained in his memory banks that the Disco Clock King was a actor in his youth and was familiar with his work on a show in the mid-eighties called the Equalizer as some penny ante - informant to Edward Woodward.

The PP Guru assumes that acting wasn't the Disco Clock King aspiring vocation- if you sit down and figure out why his nemesis fifteen years behind a desk crunching numbers and keeping journals of a major entertainment institution other than making the real big bucks producing and acting in front of the camera for them.

So the scourge had became nothing more than a tattletale to make up for his short comings....

So he would whine endlessly about how his life had amounted to nothing after putting in his fifteen years. He's admitted to winning lotteries and bragged about getting a new car - but he had nothing concrete to show for it. No chicks. No family- No fucking life and that he was a closet homosexual .

Frankly, the PP Guru and his breathren didn't want hear his funky shit so, the Disco Clock King boasted of put in his papers when his pension starts to kicking in (which would have been in another nine months)- but didn't want to training the PP Guru to learn one of his jobs in the eventuality that he did bolt- The PP Guru felt he had to expand his horizons in some capactiy and didn't want to wind up in a rut and when he asked the Disco Clock King for guidence - he told the PP Guru vigorously to go fuck himself.

The PP Guru doesn't take that kind of shit from anyone- so he went to his supervisors and asked if he could be trained on one the Disco Clock King's jobs- one that didn't require security clearance to get access.

But nonetheless the Disco Clock King got wind of what the PP Guru was up to and then without warning, he threw in the towel and left with only nine months away from collecting his retirement benefits. Didn't say a word to anyone. KATHY the GREAT had to break the news to us in a meeting held in her office.

Can you beat that?

This story is FAR from over. It gets EVEN weirder.

~ Coat