The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Friday, May 20, 2005

THE RETURN OF EVEN MORE TITS AND MONSTERS

Remember one time last year, the PP Guru's secret alter ego, Cary Coatney was bragging on and on about collaborating with fellow Deposit Man penciler and inker Larry Nadolsky on a possible spin-off series featuring supporting character Betty Fusco as a secret agent for the powers that be in the afterlife? We both figured on that this would be a shoo-in for Heavy Metal magazine The PP Guru was even going to give her angel wings and arm her with super duper secret agent gadgets based on religious artifacts and poke fun at theological happy horseshit themes and current events going on in the news media.

So the PP Guru sat down and wrote a script for four pages for Larry to pencil and paint. The script took stabs at Howard Dean and was a sort of parody on Doctor Octopus's appearance in the Spider-Man 2 film. the PP Guru even went as far as to give Betty a little tentacle tickle up the ol' choochie and had serious wardrobe malfunctions happen through out the short tale.

It took only the PP Guru only two days to hammer out a script one weekend. It was the easiest thing that he ever wrote - considering that he can't even get the nerve to send in a Batman story proposal to the kind folks at DC (It's been sitting in the drawer and has been tweaked on for like, eight years now).

The Betty Fusco spin-off had to be a unmitigated success. The PP Guru was sure that it would be a done deal.

So Larry completed it and sent it in along with some new tales of his Canadian Space Mountie, Race Yukon. Larry had a four pager published last year in the magazine featuring his character.

And so we waited for Kevin Eastman and co. had to say (Larry's translation):

Sorry Charlie.

What? But why?

Simple - not enough tits and monsters. Kids love tits and monsters and your story didn't have enough of either.

Kids?

Well, the sixteen and seventeen year olds who skim through the mag during summer recesses. That's a target audience

You gotta be shittin' the PP Guru. Seriously.

So, as Larry doesn't mean to discourage, why don't you go back and write a four page Deposit Man story for Heavy Metal?

What? How can the PP Guru possibly do that- unless Kevin changes the magazine's unwritten slogan to More Cocks and Monsters- the PP Guru doesn't think their subscriber base is going to do a gender overhaul anytime soon.

So the best compromise would be to have a tale with Betty Fusco teaming up with Race Yukon.

An idea begins to formulate.


As told to:

~

Coat


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