FIFTEEN MINUTE BREAK March 31, 2003

Rewriting scripts are a pain in the ass. Yesterday morning I get up at 8 30 AM to work on my rewrite on the sixth issue of the Deposit Man, and I get stuck on a line- a line I could write twenty different times and still not get it- now I understand why scripts doctors get paid a lot of money- they got to deal with the frustration of getting everything just right. The scenerio is this- County coroners and LA Police detectives are carrying out Spice Cakes in a body bag from a seedy East LA watering hole and someone makes a reference that the Deposit Man's nemesis- Marty was the one responsible and has been killed in a police shootout. The main detective handling the case makes a joke in reference to Marty having left ' a fluid ' mark in Spice Cakes' hair and wants to boast about his involvement in taking down Marty. The other cops not having heard the news asks how it went down. I fussed with twenty variations on how to ask how did it all go down- What do you mean(?) was one. How do you mean(?) was another. Leaving my house at approx noon- I slapped my head like forgettin to chug down a V-8 - To make the line to sound more chic- why didn't I consider " How you figure' - now that's a line a uneducated street wise cop would ask. I gotta change it tonight-

Shit, my fifteen minutes are up.

~

Cary Coatney