The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Friday, June 18, 2004

BALL OF CONFUSION, That's The Way The World is Today....Hey, Hey

Just got off looking at the pictures posted on the Drudge Report that show in such graphic detail the beheading of Paul M. Johnson Jr. By the look of one of the pictures on the website, you can't help but think that YOU CAN literally stick your head up your ass nowadays. It's amazing what human feats of fancy you can accomplish these days. Now I'm not going to assume the role of a sympathizer or a apologist here- but what the fuck? WHY WOULD ANY AMERICAN IN THEIR RIGHT MIND BE IN SOME PLACE WHERE WE'RE ALL CONSIDERED PERSONA NON GRATA?
I don't get it- what is the attraction for cripessakes? And what? - I have to cry myself to sleep at night because some fool was going to trade up one culture for another? Johnson practically begged for his life by....wanting to convert to Islam. Wow, what a surprise to be willing to take up the cause, but you know what? The cutthroats (sic) wouldn't buy into it no matter
how much he proclaimed to 'love the Arabic culture' - These fucking Al Qaeda loonies- (or it Al Qaida? I swear, I see it spelled ten thousand different ways in the newspapers and on the internet. Has anyone settled on a the proper phonetic spelling yet?)- there's not fucking around here. Do any of you who are pledged to the 'Conservative Media Bias Ivy League' team begin to see the damage done when you start making paper sailboat hats out of Victoria Secret panties?

It's a worse case scenerio of a goddamn theocratic nightmare and it's not going to stop until we pry that speech impeded Diet Coke sluring Dubya and his crafty croonie Cheney out of that office that they usurped from the American people. I swear, those two - always in a board meeting with their imaginary pal, Jesus. They need to come up for air and shit a brick over their dropping poll numbers.

I couldn't help but make parallels between this Administration and the planet of Cremetoria that is explored in the movie I saw last weekend called the Chronicles of Riddick starring Vin Diesel. My observation, or better to say, interpretation of the invasion force calling themselves the Necromongers in the movie is a thinly veiled mock version of the coalition forces who come bearing wise gifts of Christianity upon their world - the only problem is, the denizens on that planet don't want JACK SHIT to do with it. Which is exactly what we are doing in the Middle East, in addition to scarfing up all their oil, we are fistfucking the one all or be all master plan of plundering the religious beliefs of other nations and converting them into mulch, which has been the plan all along - the total eradication of a religion who's mantra is out to eradicate the other. It's time to stop all this petty nonsense- close our fucking borders off, deport all people of Middle Eastern descent out of America and have a FUCKING TIME OUT! Then maybe, maybe the Al Qaeda won't have anything to whine about and they won't go around too much with plastic knives and chopping off heads and shit

A cooling off period. That's all I want. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

And fuck Israel too, whose moronic troubles serves nothing but being another fucking time waster on CNN. I couldn't give a two rat's shit about the thousands and thousands year old skirmishes between The Pals and the Israelis. I'm so sick and fucking tired of turning on the news and hearing and seeing everything so focused on things and events that the majority of this people in this country who don't give a flying fuck. People tune in the news in this country, to hear about news HAPPENING IN THIS COUNTRY.

My personal freedom to express my opinion in this country is curtailed or threatened by what the fuck happens in Iraq. Nor in Israel. Nor in Afganistan. And nor is your freedom in any mortal peril either. This 'stupid' war is being fought for PERSONAL INTEREST. And not National interest, as people my father's age are easily led to believe when spiraling down the path to a make believe Captain Crunch treasure hunt guided by Long John O'Reilly and Skipper Sean O'Hannity.

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Things that usually help me plot a escape route through these long bouts of Christian skin crawling catharsises that resembles something right out of a M rated Ibox game (only that I keep seeing in the recesses of my mind, bible thumping louts coming at me from all sides- out of bushes, hiding behind trees and crashing through windows an the only way I can hold them is by picking up a rolled up of the Nation or Mother Jones to keep fending them off) is entertainment news.

Working for a major studio can make me thirsty for scoops and such. I like to take frequent walks around the studio grounds and poking my nose in to some sound stage where I don't belong or rifle through some paperwork and come up with my interpretation of what that project is all about that I see listed in front of me. And I have to match it up with what I see with what I read about on the imdb.com website.

A couple items of interest I found in the construction department invoices of things that are being built on soundstages at this very moment.

* Serenity. It's been a while...since I thought about this project. This is supposed the movie version of the now cult classic series, Firefly that didn't last more than eleven or twelve episodes - but instead, has found a much deserved shelf life on DVD (which I sprung for my dad's Christmas gift) It's a amalgamation of both science fiction and western (a rare genre to even execute) - which is a Nelson's ratings way of saying you've got my peanut butter stuck into my tootsie roll candy ass- let the Fox network jettison this one real quick before no advertising dictates that IT ONLY NEEDS REALLY FINDS ITSELF A AUDIENCE - but let's not give them one. This film is going to be released through Universal and not Fox from where the series had originated.

* Million Dollar Baby - Clint Eastwood stars and directs (just can't stop, can he?) a film about female boxing. I heard Hillary Swank is going to be in this one.

* Zathura - based on the children's book written by Chris Van Allsburg and directed by Jon Favreau. I couldn't tell you the plot. All I know is that children's books are beginning to become a hot commodity these days at the studios. My studio is doing a remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp and I think Universal is doing one based on the Lemony Snickett(?) with Jim Carrey in the role of Olaf.

* Elizabethtown - a gushy love story written and directed by Chris Columbus and starring that match made in movie heaven couple of both Orlando Bloom and Kristen Dunst.

You know, speaking of Dunst- THERE ARE WAY BETTER REDHEADS to play and act in the role of Mary Jane Watson in Spider-Man 2. Dunst just doesn't cut it for me. She's cute - and that's about it. Cute doesn't cut it with Mary Jane Watson - Mary Jane Watson has to be a FUCKING KNOCKOUT, alright? I don't know about you- but I want to be one of those guys who walks out of a multiplex with a erection over the sight of MARY JANE WATSON in mortal danger from the pulsating orgasmic vibrating tentacles of Doc Cock....and having Alicia Witt in the role would have fitted the bill perfectly... or I would have settled for that chick who plays Sikouz(?) on Farscape.

Would someone please hurry and wake Sam Raimi up to tell him?

DVDs are my best friend - and they're cheaper than a date, too.

Next week - I'll devulge into some of them, including the eagerly awaited six disc set of the entire 1967 Spider-Man animated series coming out in a few weeks. I mean, last month, I felt like I had conquered the world with the JONNY QUEST set - but then, that was last month and my mental medication that insures me that world domination is just a disc download away is already running out.

~

Coat

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