The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Thursday, September 16, 2004


I've got to remember to stop fucking around with genius. I'm referring to the fact that I went and posted my thoughts and genuine feelings about the Sky Captain movie that I saw last weekend which is opening in theaters across the country tomorrow. Of course, It will be more exciting to read the local press critic reviews, knowing your desires are set in stone and not a scathing or a belittling review is going to change how you feel about the film, because you've beaten them to the punch. I went and posted these thoughts pertaining to the film and when I posted the first draft, everything seemed to be all ok. But when I went back to do some editing and provide a 'link a thon' and then press publish, half of the piece that I labored for a hour and half on mysteriously evaporated into cyber dust. And if you click on some of the links in the previous entry - you find that they don't correspond to what it was supposed to be linking to.

Beats the fuck outta me. I have no way of explaining what the hell happened. I had to keep going back and try to make sense of what appeared and what didn't. It could have been overload of some kind or I didn't bother to press the save draft button during the composition- but it doesn't really matter, I can't go back to try to recapture what was lost. Must press on.

A multi-task of topics today:

Tomorrow, I think I will be sending a submission to Diamond Comics of the first act of the Deposit Man & The Last Great Gate of Mortality to my contact. With Larry Nadolsky now working on the third act, the time may be right to finally get these books out on a regular shipping schedule. Now note, that I said submission, and not solicitation - someone in my camp is a little worried that I'm jumping to conclusions on how I'm going to market my products and all I have to say (and this just came to me) that this person's name will not be appearing in the solicitation. I don't recall many book designers' or editors' names listed in the solicitations alongside the writer and artists's byline anyway. I really don't think that there is anything for you to worry about. I'd thought I'd address it now before I suffer yet another 'dissention in the ranks'.

Ever since, Alan Sinder told me that Howard Chaykin was doing a six-issue series on the Challengers of the Unknown, I've been sort of trying to catch up to other events that are taken place in the Marvel and DC Universes. One thing I am not too keen on picking up, even though it' heralded as the current 'rave' thing is this seven issue overpriced 40 page baxter book called 'Identity Crisis'. Yeah, it's all great that Hardback best selling novel authors are coming to downsize the comic industry population, putting old comic book writing war horses like Chris Claremont, Len Wein, or Marv Wolfman out to pasture, but golly gee, do they have to price their comics like you were shopping at Barnes % Nobles? I'll wait under the fervor dies down and pick up the overpriced tp of whenever it comes out.

I'm intrigued by the current Amazing Spider-Man storyline that's cropped up in that issue's mag - Spidey verus.... Gwen Stacy's illegitimate twin children?!! From what I can gather, the history of this doozy according to writer J. Michael Straczynski is what transpired in between the events of Amazing Spider-Man # 119 - 122 (old school) was that Gwen Stacy was out in London getting a little action on the side while Peter Parker was out playing dodge the footsies with the Incredible Hulk in Montreal. Of course Parker never found out about Gwen's little illicit rendezvous, because Gerry Conway was too busy having her whacked by the Green Goblin!! So basically, Parker is getting threats towards his family, namely wife Mary-Jane Watson and his fragile Aunt May (yeah, you know from the movie) from the Stacy Wonder twins and there's this bit about some dead letter that finally arrives on the Parker's condo doorstep some twenty-years after her death that sort of explains things - but Parker as Spidey tries to gets the letter authenticated to unravel the plot due to some ink has fading from the pages AND to find out who the real father is. PARKER know it wasn't him becasue he confesses to Mary Jane that he and Gwen never got around to trying out that spiffy batch of new spider-web prophylactics that he happened to stuff in his pockets after one of Harry Osborn's acid dropping parties - but isn't it just convenient that Mary Jane happens to know WHO the REAL FATHER is? Well, I won't be finding out for myself until next month's issue (SINS OF THE FATHER, perhaps?). Kudos to Straczynski, I didn't see this one coming a mile away.

Gwen Stacy brings back to me a lot of pleasant memories of high school. Once upon a time, I purposily asked out this blond buxom girl in the tenth grade named
Linda Freeman who already had achieved notoriety for being awarded third place in the Miss Teenage New Jersey contest. Since I so indentified with Peter Parker, I was hankering for my Gwen Stacy. We had an off and on thing going until months before my Senior Year ( I think her refusing to go to the prom with me was an sure indication that things weren't working out) Sadly we didn't get around to sealing the deal ourselves. I guess in some maniacial way, I still have a little Peter Parker left in me.

While I'm waiting for Chaykin to get the Challengers out of his system. I've been checking out Jim Lee's version of Superman- really not much to say, except that it's very pretty, the Julius Schwartz tribute issues with wonderful farewell rememberances written by Alan Moore and Harlan Ellison, The Avengers kill-them-all-thon in issues #500-503 made possible by writer Brian Michael Bendis (I should also play catch up with Daredevil, possibly the only real redeeming product that Marvel put out under the screwloose iron fist of Bill Jemas) and I'm hitting the comic shop calisthenics regularly for my weekly dose of the War Games storyline that's happening in the current Batman line of books.

But this is all temporary- I'll probably go back to hibernation again once Challengers finishes. I find no point in indulging in others when I'm responsible for putting my own out. It's somewhat distracting and I really don't want to be accused of stealing other's ideas if the accusation would ever arise.

Here's a couple of things that have been pissing me off of late:


Britney Blasted for Making Two-Year-Old a Paparazzi Target

Britney Spears' love rival Shar Jackson has blasted the pop star and her ex Kevin Federline for turning her life into a paparazzi nightmare. The actress fears Spears' decision to allow photographers to snap a family portrait with herself, fiance Federline and his two-year-old daughter with Jackson, Cory, has endangered her child's safety. Jackson was far from happy when she saw the "family portrait" on the front cover of America's People magazine last month - and not just because it featured her daughter with her superstar stepmother-to-be. She says, "I can't leave her (Cory) alone. You know how sometimes you take your kids to the park, you let them run around. I can't do that. I have to sit there and watch her like an eagle now. It's very, very scary. Somebody came in my backyard and was like trying to take pictures through the house. I called the cops." Jackson is determined not to let the same thing happen to her newborn baby son Kaleb. She adds, "She (Britney) hasn't even met Kaleb yet."

Usually I don't give a royal shit about Britney Spears and little Monkey See Monkey do proteges like Hillary Duff and Lindsay Lohan. Sex with them is probably as disposable as scraping a dull twin blade razor across your scrotum and tossing it in the trash. But I saw this picture at the supermarket check out and I thought how much I would like to kick both her and her fiance in the teeth - just for playing around with this little girl's psyche. I mean, what the fuck is wrong with this Britney Spears? Where does she get the freakin' right to pose with someone who is not their illegitmate child? Britney- go pop out one of your own with that fucking loser whose family you destroyed with a mere wave of your multi-million dollar hand and go exploit that kid. Goddamn, I hate step parenting- I wish it was made against the law. And goddamn, her records really suck too. I fail to see as what is so original about her that people keep buying her record.


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Now I knew this was a scam from the beginning- but just for the fuck of it, I replied to the letter half suspecting that it would come back as some autoreply saying that the mail you sent was undeliverable or whatever jargon they use tell you about ISP numbers not matching this server and that- but curiously enough they e-mailed a few replies to me, saying our office hours are this and that and that you should call us to discuss this matter, etc. Well, I had gotten a fortune cookie saying that I am about overdue for a big green rainfall and I thought, what the hell, I'll call them just to see what they say. The problem I was trying to work out in my head was what would be the proper time to call them since they're out in London and there happens to be a major eight hours difference between Los Angeles and London. So I would have to call them at 3 or 4 in the morning- but then, if these guys are so legit- they would have raves on Google, right?


As soon as I found out about their little scam was actually based out of Sacramento (hmmm, maybe one of ARnold's fundraising escapades?), the nice pleasantaries of little e-mail replies became nasty replies.

Perhaps, I'll make a Hateful column out of it.



Tuesday, September 14, 2004


Was unfortunate enough to catch Sherry Lansing leaving the lot last Friday evening and lordy, is her ass enormous. But I can overlook such discrepancies as I now sing the praises of what I hope of will be a very successful motion picture franchise for a studio I used to abhor for drop kicking poor Robert Evans in the teeth that sent him into a tailspin of poverty.

Not since Indiana Jones, has there been a movie that invokes a heartwarming passion for all things nostalgic such as radio show decoder ring giveaways and science fiction pulp magazines that serves as backdrop material as to what is lovingly etched in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.

This movie rocked my world. If it had been released 25 years earlier- it would have rocked my childhood as well and that's only a smattering of an analogy. I don't what Paramount studios had to fear by not releasing this during the summer- I think it would have raked in the big bucks and would have gone equally toe to toe with Spider-Man 2. But I think it's biggest competition will be Sin City (2005) film adaption that is currently in post production from directors Frank Miller & Robert Rodriguez)

Jude Law
is exquisite in the title row- it's as if he just leaped off the cover of some old Weird Tales or some Argosy pulp magazine publication. I can almost forgive Conran for casting Gwyneth Paltrow in the lead female role of Polly Perkins( I sometimes wonder what the result would be if Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow's roles were somehow reversed- 'cause you know, I just can't just have enough pouty lip screentime with Jolie - but a female tribute to Nick Fury? Who else could make sense out of the role of Commander Frankie?) with those age lines so clearly visible on her face. I'm glad Conran had the good sense not to shoot her wardrobe anywhere above the knee, because man, from what I recall from that bathing suit scene in the Talented Mr. Ripley, The (1999) , she has some nasty cottage cheese brewing back there on the booty and thighs. What strikes me the most about Conran's extremely gifted directing debut, besides the superb job the actors delivered under his almost all blue screened tutelage, the jaundiced painted backdrops of yellows, greys, and brown as if juxaposed by Maxfield Parrish, and the seamless kaleidoscopic parade of visual effects, is the painstaking research that it took him to bring it all to life. I had heard that Conran got all the authenticity of the 1940's New York City look just by going over pictures in textbooks and seeking out props from that era such as old comic books.

A phone conversation with Larry Nadolsky revealed to me that Scott Goodell is once again paired up with C.J. Henderson
on a slew of books which I assume is being reprinted from Death Comics in a tp entitled Scamm or something of that nature. Larry said that Scott is plying his trade to new Phantom and Doc Savage books through Moonstone I'm wondering if Scott has done any research on Doc Savage or knows what the character even looks like.(Kings Feature Syndicate daily strip)I wonder why Moonstone doesn' try their luck with an adaption of Robert Crais's bestselling Elvis Cole novels or Clive Clusser's Dirk Pitt?

Batman and Brian Michael Bendis treatment of the Avengers.

I'll talk in length about them in the next Sky Coatney installment.