FIFTEEN MINUTE BREAK March 14, 2003 3:30 PM - 3:45 PM

Yeah, it's fucking Friday and I'll be having my first day off in two weeks. And next Friday I'll be flying out to Vegas to see my dad, Aunt Sara Jane, my brother and his wife, and especially to meet my four year old niece, Laura for the the very first time.

I don't what I'm going to do tomorrow morning, I don't have to wake up early to tape Static Shock since it's a repeat. I was out trying to find a DVD of the first Dune mini-series, but I can't find any copies anywhere- I guess this weekend's mini- series, Children of Dune. premiering this weekend jacked up the sales of the DVD. Probably a lot of people were thinking the same thing, buy the director's cut and get reacquainted with what went on before they tune in to the new series.

I should go see some Oscar nominated movies like About Schmit, Chicago, or The Pianist so I could make a broad decision come next week. I have the LA Shrine show to hang out on Sunday- another anime featured show- so I really don't have to set my alarm and wait in line to get in early. I suppose I could do some rewrites on the Deposit Man mini-series on the sixth issue. Which reminds me- I have to reconstruct the entire seventh issue from scratch, since I've changed things around from the last issue I put out.

Well, maybe Monday I'll get into a little more depth about the Deposit Man. I know I keep saying that, but for now-

my fifteen minutes are up. Have a nice weekend.

Cary Coatney

FIFTEEN MINUTE BREAK March 13, 2003 3:50-4:05 PM

Well this edition is late, because of some priority job that came on my desk. I don't know what it is- it's some computer coded paycheck system called WIF- it's looks like bank account numbers, I don't know- I never inquire, I just input it in the system and viola- it's done in twenty minutes. That's the best thing for working at this film company- one day you'll be saturated with so much work- you'll have to put in 12 hour days and for a few days there will be only be 2 hours worth of work to do- the rest of the day I can jerk around on the net or take two hour lunches- doesn't matter. I have to be punched in for eight a hours a day, regardless in case something comes in at the last minute.

I keep saying I'm going to tell you all about what the Deposit Man is about, but I want to talk about my artist Larry instead- Larry Nadolsky does all the penciling, inking, and word balloons for the Deposit Man- although with the second part of my mini-series THE DEPOSIT MAN's LAST GREAT GATE OF MORTALITY, I told him I'd start to applying something like ComicKraft to the lettering and Alan and I are taking a different approach to editing. Before when I did my first two books, I had Rebecca edit everything from my script and she would add in few lines of dialogue herself. Alan said he wants to edit the book from an artist's perspective. So Larry finally broke the news that my long awaited first chapter in the mini-series is finally finished and he'll be sending the pages out this weekend- while I'll be sending out reference materials for Chapter 2 to draw upon. Both Larry and I had strange things go on in our lives last year that prevented us from getting this out in a timely manner- but hopefully we'll get on top of things this time- The last thing I put out was an ashcan of the first ten completed pages at APE 2002.

We've been slacking.

Well, My fifteen minutes are up.

Cary Coatney
.

HALF ASS!

Hello, and welcome to the first edition of Half Ass- a sort of amatuer stunt programming showcase for writers of unfinished pieces or works already in progess. What I want to accomplish here is to show the structure of how I want to lay out an essay- I may start something and leave it in the middle (usually when the snooze bar mode starts to set in), but I may come back to it and say to myself - what the fuck am I doing this for? Did I actually write that? This is the raw way of doing things: warts and foot fungus and all. The inner trappings of the Coatney mind at work all for your reading perusal.

I've had a good portion of my stuff printed by Comics Buyer's Guide throughout 1993-2000, there might be some stuff that they've published that I haven't seen. I don't know, I still submit stuff to them on occasion, but I don't read the magazine on a regular basis due to time constraints and I'm really not crazy about their cover price considering that you can get some of the movie and television news cheaper in publications such as Variety and Hollywood Reporter or download it on the net for free. But I love the people who work on it and I have the utmost highest respect for them, especially Maggie Thompson and John J Miller who I used to call on a regular basis to spring my ideas on. I recall John being the first editor ever to call my house and ask me if it was okay to rewrite a 'tweaked out journal of me literally running amok in London visiting Comic Book Shops and asking owners stupid questions about the state of the comic book industry in England and nearly getting booted out on my 'arse' out of all of them. I did the rewrite for him, but I don't think he ever published it. Maggie has also swung the axe of brevity in my direction, and her pep talks have had some effect in molding the way I approach writing letters or essays. I also tried to partcipate in a round table review discussions for them, but that turned out to be way out of my area of expertise.

I wish I could apply the same skills to the way I script my comic books.

There was another publication I submitted stuff to called Comic Effect, a small but yet noticable and highly reviewed fanzine published out of Pasadena, Ca. I wrote a few essays about certain individual comic books and what I remember about when I first read them, or how old I was and what was going on during those periods of my life. I did small capsule reviews of the late seventies Silver Surfer graphic novel by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby (which I believe was the very first original graphic novel that Marvel ever released) and Jules Feiffer's the Great Comic Book Heroes, which I received for my 8th birthday. I did two long epic pieces, one of a early seventies Aquaman special, which was the very first comic book I ever read when I was six years old and a Spider-man /Green Goblin two parter in the mid-seventies. Both those comics were tied to major events that went on in my life. But there was a unpublished third entry of a handful of Walter Simonson Thor issues that I was fond of when it conflicted with plans of a girl I wanted to marry. Publisher Jim Kingman has told me that he wanted to publish it, but it would take up nearly a third of an issue and is waiting for the right time to do it. But I wouldn't hold my breath- it's been nearly four of five years since I submitted it.

So what I also would like to do here is present pieces of my unfinished past- stuff that has been lying dormant in drawers or editors' drawers doing nothing but knocking down some cold ones with some couch potatoed cobwebs. I've got a whole Yahoo file of stuff that probably hasn't seen the light of day including a observation of Art Speigelman's smoky visit to Los Angeles, a Harlan Ellison book signing, a commentary on Rapeman, and my nightmare date with a woman who threw up all over on some of my Batman comics after belting away a few Black Russians.

My opening segment this Wednesday night is a recent piece I wanted to post on some message boards about eating and drinking fads on both the east and west coasts, but a few people who run these boards are too cantankerous about these autobiographical flings of mine. It's not really comic book related and it's written in a real lazy effortless style that I seem to grow accustomed to when I'm posting- it's not really writing to me, but a mode of thinking out loud- But when I think I've perfected this one, you know, shape it around like wet clay and pick out the charred odds and ends, it will probably get some nods of approval and could invoke some colorful insight. So this week, I'll demonstrate the half assed version and probably tomorrow evening, I'll fine tune it or tweak it up some.

So every Wenednesday check in for some more half assed morsels for your amusement

I hope no one's teeth will start hurting after I start this thread but I want to explore the culinary habits of both coasts since I have lived my life split down the middle in both New York and Los Angeles.

There were times when I couldn't pick a spot to settle down- but now with my affirmation in employment currently vested at a entertainment company- I don't intend on making plans of flocking my trendy little nest any time soon.

LA, I'm here to stay- unless those Al Quesdillas or whatever they're calling themselves these days succeed in blowing the town to pieces, then I would have a big problem.

I want to examine the current rages in popular food delicacies. Would you think that it is strictly a west coast thing or a east coast thing? Mid-Westerners can chime in too.

Let me start with smoothies. Definitely a west coast thing. One of the deciding factors that contributed to my hauling ass out to the west coast was setting up shop close to a smoothie bar.

Because New Yorkers don't know how to make the damn things.

Out here in LA, we have two major franchises that specialize in providing the enjoyment of a fresh fruit smoothie- one is Jamba Juice

http://www.jambajuice.com/

and the other is Dr.Robeks-

http://www.robeks.com/Library/Document01.asp?PT=D&PID=192

although I think they're both one and the same because they use a lot of plain frozen non fat yogurt to give their smoothie products both buoyancy and consistency and they use the same type of ingredients and the same styrofoam cups. Both companies train their employees to make their delicious products as if it came off on a assembly line - they pour the juice into the blender, add the frozen fruit, a couple of scoops of the frozen yogurt and some ice and they take it over and whip it in a variety of different ways, but I always enjoy it when the 'associate' has to beat and pound the crap out of the blender in order to make it look like what just as you see it in the pictures. Sometimes the lid goes flying off and the smoothie goes flying all over the place. I usually find that hysterical because that means they've got to start all over again to make my smoothie. I'm easily amused by the petty misfortunes of others. I don't why, guess I learned that from identifying with Jackie the Jokeman too much.

Besides the smoothies, you can get nuitrition bars, snacks, sandwiches, pretzels, and soups. Get a few shots of wheatgrass- but keep away from washing it down with a citrus drink, otherwise you'll cancel out the antioxidants that the wheatgrass is supposed to provide for your body.

You can also make smoothies out of peanut butter which reminds me of a little prank I know, but I don't have time to get into that right here...but what really prompted me to bring up the subject of smoothies was this new item Dr. Robeks has introduced to their menu:

Pomegranate Juice and smoothies. Read about it here.

http://216.239.53.100/search?q=cache:NC6dXpLH8E8C:www.pomwonderful.com/flashsite/PDFs/NewsandPress/PressReleases/PR_2002_August.pdf+pomegranate+juice&hl=en&ie=UTF-8

They have billboards over all LA advertising pomwonderful products, many telling us that we'll all live longer than those Siberians tanked out on Dannon Yogurt. I guess it's worth a try.

Now I always thought that the Pomegranate was a villain that the Creeper once fought. However, it's based on a russian fruit that you crack open and eat the little pebbles or seeds inside that contain the fruit. They taste tart like a cranberry. Heck, if you put them side by side, you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference, if was a cranberry or a pomegranate.

But that doesn't explain where Ditko got the idea to use the Pomegranate as a Creeper villain. Maybe Ditko was a little heavy in antioxidants himself.

So have any New Yorkers had any positive 'pomegranate ' experiences since this Pom Wonderful was introduced to the market? Are New Yorkers aware that there is such a product?

East Coast or West Coast thing?

MY FIFTEEN MINUTE AFTERNOON BREAK 3:30-3:45 PM March 12, 2002

I said yesterday that I would explain what the Deposit Man was about- but I'll see what time is left after I say a few other things.

MY FIFTEEN MINUTE AFTERNOON BREAK will be a regular feature of whatever I want to cram in on a mid afternoon break at where I work- so this is will be appearing every Monday to Friday afternoon at 3:47 PM Pacific time.

I want to give thanks to Heidi MacDonald for suggesting this idea to vent what bits and pieces act as a floatation device in my head.
Heidi and I go back a aways since I met her by happenstance back in the late eighties at the San Diego Comic Con. It was a one weird encounter and I'll have to do a tribute memoir to her one of these days, maybe on a anniversary.

But I also want to give thanks to the people who have me in other endeavors such as Mark Capuano, who helped bring my vision to life when he agreed to pick up the slack of helping me self publish my Deposit Man books after this other ' editor /publisher ' out in the east coast slacked off and gave me the run around on getting a proper deal. Mark helped me display at a few trade shows like Comic Con International and APE- . He elected not to continue his services and opted to move to upstate New York and start a web business consulting firm ( I don't know the proper terminlogy- so sue me). I couldn't have gotten my foot off the ground without him-

but now I'm going to have to start over again, but I've got new people on my team: Alan Sinder is going to be my new editor on the mini-series ( after my ex-roommate and one of my best female buds on the planet, Rebecca Robbins has departed due to her hectic work schedule of teaching pre-schoolers and tutoring- get this- Michael (the Shield )Chiklis's kids) and I'm welcoming aboard Oliver Simonsen as my book designer ( taking over from Mark's position) Oliver is also a self-publisher of What? Comics featuring Captain Zap- He professes himself to be a big fan ( or is that only) fan of my Deposit Man book. So, hey what the hell- I could use the cheap llabor.

Well, tomorrow I'l ramble some more about my favorite misfit eviction service officer from Heaven

Because my fifteen minutes are up.

Cary Coatney

MY FIFTEEN MINUTE AFTERNOON BREAK 3:30-3:45 PM March 11, 2002

Ok that was supposed to be rehabilitated- I tried correcting it, but for some inexplicable reason, the edit feature crapped out on me.

Ok, well for those just joining me, my name is Cary Coatney- I used to be a hot commodity in the pages of the Oh So letters column of the weekly Comics Buyer's Guide- of which I also contributed a few articles that I actually got paid for ( but not enough to buy that deluxe penthouse in the sky), but now I'm nothing but a stupid burnout. I try to self publish a comic book called the Deposit Man. It's not seen by very many people and I only self publish it to let people know that I still reside amongst the human race and that I haven't contracted whooping cough or something of another nature. My feature was first introduced in a anthology called MALICE published by Death Comics. It didn't come out the way I expected it to and I parted ways before I agreed to spin the character into his own book(s).
Diamond carried that book and sold a modest sum of 600 copies- but Diamond refused to carry my next self published effort, THE DEPOSIT MAN KALEIDOSCOPIC MEDICINE FREAK SHOW due to content. FM International is the only distributor I seem to have a good working relationship with as they sold that one and had no problem supplying my second done- in- one effort, THE DEPOSIT MAN SURVIVAL GUIDE TO THE AFTERLIFE. I'm in the process of getting a three issue Deposit Man mini-series completed entitled THE DEPOSIT MAN AND THE LAST GREAT GATE OF MORTALITY hopefully in time for the San Deigo Comic Con.

OK my fifteen minutes are up- tomorrow I will go into a lengthy rant about what these books are about.

Ok Heidi-

I am ready to rehibilitated..


~

Coat