The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Thursday, August 26, 2004


Episode IV
Don't Let Me Interrupt Your Fine Flow of Eloquence

I'm really fucking beat today to contribute any brainpower in composing a original log entry, so it's as a good as time as any to share another chapter in my back and forth feud I used to have with my pseudo editor, Scott Goodell on the first few Deposit Man books. I believe Scott is hard at work doing some inking on a some Moonstone books and is working again for the revitalized Carnal Comics these days. Google him to make sure.

So without further ado- I introduce one of the key components that may started the bickering between us:

Me in purple:
And to remind you again, that I will reimburse you for the shipping cost because basically you're helping to add income to the table. It'll be like you'll be there in spirit but not to share in the festivities like going to Rubio's or the Fisherman's Wharf.

Scott in Blue

Anyway - when we left off - I was printing a ashcan preview of the Deposit Man & the Last Great Gate of Mortality and Scott supplied the computer colored cover image of Marty- the only staple character in the Deposit Man roster that he designed. Here's another thing that was in the development stage that was getting under my skin:

how many can you print? how many can you give me to divide up between myself, dr. revolt and jillian? areyou going to charge what it cost to print them?
a feeling so clear.

I was under the impression that you said that this guy owed you a favor and did the Marty piece for you.

it was a loose arrangement, where i could get it for free if it had to be that way, but he would like a little piece of the action.

coat- you didn't call me this weekend. did you get the box of comics? what is the exact money arrangement for dr.revolt? since i am donating all my time for free,(apparently) it wouldn't be that cool for me to pay him out of my earnings from book sales. again, he doesn't need a lot, just something. i donate my time out of friendship, so i require more cooperation than most business partners.

Scott and his demands, O VEY. Wait, it gets better:

try to keep in mind all the important questions i've been asking, so we can iron them out. i'm trying to get you quality work that you can afford. no use worrying about costs. i couldn't get this any cheaper for you, without the quality severly dropping. and it would be nice if there was something in it for me.friendship is friendship, but i have needs to insure that i produce the best quality work, myself.

Hey do you people like gossip - well, here Scott and I just toe the line here on several people involved in the business and I think I got riled up over someone giving me shit for putting his name in my comic book in the list of people I thanked in the back page of my Deposit Man Kaleidoscopic Medicine Freak Show and I just let it rip:

by the way, mark thorner was yet again giving me a hard time about his name being in deposit man.

Maybe I should put his name in every Deposit Man book just to see how he reacts. In fact, let's start doing that with The Last Great Gate of Mortality: " The Deposit Man could not be made possible by a grant provided by our good friend Mark Thorner." Tell him to shut the fuck up. Anyway, I don't understand why someone would be upset about having their name in a comic book- it's not like I said anything bad about him. I don't see a lot of this guy's work around- so he should be happy that he gets any lip service at all. I didn't go around suing Mike Pascale for calling me a punk in the pages of CBG (Comics Buyer's Guide).

there's a certain elitist, discriminating,dehumanizing attitude in the industry that would makehaupt carl proud. you see, he knows ann nocenti, so his attitude towards me is similar to much of the comic industry; be as nice and respectful to my face as possible, and try to never let me know how abuseful and discriminatory their attitude towards actually is.

You have to be part of a elite squad to know Ann Nocenti? Is she like the beaver treat of the comic book industry? If so, she's been upstaged many times especially by Jill Thompson and Anina Bennett. Now> those are the babes in the industry. By the way, what was that crack about me being mad at you for knowing Ann Nocenti? Did I ever say I had something in for her? Maybe when I was 21 years old- but I'm sure she's showing signs of haginess by now. Maybe I subconsciously based Betty Fusco on her and not Hyapatia Lee.

no, i don't think ann's crazy enough to still hate me, but in the eighties, she wanted to teach me not to ask out someone you're working with, so she exaggerated my asking her out into me harrassing her and allegedly passed a memo around marvel, and to this day losers inthe comic industry still hate me. especially since stories tend to grow over the years. i don't think people are that freaked out over it, because everyone's afraid to ask me my side of the story. so i pointed out all the people that he respects and admires, and how they are either involved in the project, or they approve of it. i likened deposit man to a piece of work meant to frustrate hypocrites.

Then look to her as your mentor or guru. It's not healthy these days to date co workers

i noticed the east coast is like that. since i was born and raised west of the mississippi, i, like the others around me developed the maturity and skills to handle and balance business and pleasure. as tom defalco once said to me, personal and professional are intertwined, one and the same. when you are friends with your co-workers, you have less of a chance of being screwed in business. but after seeing the way things are done around here, yes, i'm forced to agree with nocenti.

There's a chick I work with whom I'm fond of. But I realize after hanging with her, she's developed a fucking attitude- and people were starting to say things about me hanging with her. If there's one thing I fucking hate, it's gossip. Guess what, I just lost interest- with the exception of just staring at her ass. It's not worth the bullshit. And that's why I advise to stop chasing down females in the industy-

hate to break the news to you, my first relationship lasted 3 years, my second 8 months, my third, 7 yearsand my last, jillian who was in the business, 4 years;in every last one of them, the woman chased after me.not trying to brag, just never learned to pick up chicks, to busy trying to get rich, which makes them chase after me more.

Everyone yentas up. Just be obscure and marry a nice jewish girl, like your mama's always told you

then i blocked thorner's e-mail address from my server. i'm sure he's going to go the ultra-conservative cj henderson and try to convince him that i think they're both hypocrites. which is fine with me, i can do without cj's friendship as well. i like the guy, but let's face it; he uses my place as his sanctuary away from his family, he smokes all my dope and continues to greatly benefit from my contacts.

Maybe he's doing you a favor. Dope is illegal is taping copywriten music. CJ should be barred from the Comic Book Writer's Professional Society (if there is one) for even accepting the assignment of writing V.I.P. and thinking it would be a great success.

Well, your tapes outnumber of what I've taped for you. I'm just your unwilling accomplice.
the people i've introduced him to have been so important to him, that it's made his life bearable. meanwhile, he's introduced me to 2 people, both of whom worked me to death, and didn't pay me. one of whom, i had to take to court. well, if he can get over the fact that he's a hypocrite, i feel we can benefit from our association, so i'll keep you posted, and let you know how it affects our dealings with deposit man. scott.

Show CJ the ashcan- I think he'll get a big kick on how I deal with Hare Krisnas and those greasy Iranians. That ought to rile him up. Signing off for the rest of the day.

i never killed my families cat, just my sister that we never speak about.
p.s. don't put mark thorner's name in the book again;the last thing i said to him was how connected and respected in the industry you are. although, i mentioned your problem is, you tend to get carried away, so prove me wrong.

You know something that I don't? That's the first I ever heard of this or are just being sarcastic?

it's a good lie. and since mark is even more on the fringes of the industry than i am, he'll probably believe it. after listening to cj, he was convinced that you were a pariah, and that the book was hated by everyone as much as cj. the weird thing is, mark is a democrat and cj hates the book because it insults the republicans that have screwed cj so bad, yet that he still admires and follows. now you realize why i called them both hypocrites. just keep it between us.

Why are you so hung up on this Mark Thorner issue?
Who is he to me Why don't you have him call me?

first, i'm trying to get bill clinton to stop lovingbig haired women.

As to your love life- well, if it works for you- then who should I complain? Without sounding bald faced about it, but it seems to me that you think you're competition with me over chicks, because you're always talking about them with me- and to be honest, I don't care- neither am I jealous over your conquests for that matter. It's an area that I don't discuss about. It's none of anybody's business, friend or family, of who I'm f-ing up the a. If I ever marry or move into with any one- nobody's ever gonna to know about it. If I ever have a kid- nobody's ever going to know about it. I like my personal life to be what it is- personal.

i'm understanding that too, now. i was told in new york, you never introduce your friends to your girlfriend, because it's an invitation for them to hit on her. to me it's a way to find out who your friends really are.

To me, you went a little off the handle about this Jillian affair. I don't think she constituted as a GFE because she only saw you what- two or three a times a year? If that's a healthy relationship to you, then more power to you, but don't try to make me buy into this disillusionment to make believe me otherwise.

o.k. since i was the only one there when she called me, introduced herself, kept calling me and then told me she loved me, and wanted all my gifts, you have every right not to believe me or to not want to hear about it. just remember, if i wasn't your friend, you probably wouldn't benefit as much from working with me as you do.

When I was into your hotel room in SD two years ago, you were all excited about this picture with Jillian- and you got all soured up because I wasn't enthusatic about it as you were. It kind of reminds me of my stepfather everytime he cooked up a gourmet meal and he asked me how it was and I say that was good. Then he'd get all bent out of shape, because the word "good"wasn't good enough for him. He'd say- don't you mean it's delicious? Okay, so it's delicious then, all right?

i understand. no it wasn't that; you just said one thing and she said another. even though you were right, i tend to listen to the pretty one that flirts with me
See? didn't I tell ya that this was juicy stuff?


Tuesday, August 24, 2004


Yeah, it's that time again- things are picking up steam now that the network shows are resuming production after summer hiatus and the prospect of overtime seems eminent, although if Bush's new schmush the middle class scheme goes according to plan- I may have to graft a tin cup to my forehead when I go out begging for handouts. I took a stroll around the lot late Thursday night and ran into a whole shmear of celebrities taking ciggie breaks away from their sets including Two and a Half men's Charlie Sheen (damn, is his face all pockmarked) and Gilmour Girls's Lauren Graham talking on a cellphone while darting inside and out of trailers- (but I see her all the time on the lot- so she doesn't really count.)

So instead of doing the Ayreon's Human Equation review, I'm going to coast on this entry until the time that my bus arrives at the stop and hopefully I will resume my regular self indulgent patterns on Thursday.

I was amused this morning streamlining to St. Louis's eclectic talk station WGNU's conservative harlot DR PAT (Tuesday morning's 11 AM to 1 PM CENTRAL TIME ) rant incessively on about how there is some Democratic conspiracy transpiring at Border's Books and Music on how the new conservative crackpot book ' UNFIT FOR COMMAND by John O'Neill and Jerome Corsi (the puppet masters for the They Really Need a SWIFT KICK in the ASS Veterns for the DISTORTED TRUTH campaign ads )is not purposily being carried by the chain and therefore is sort of arranging a picketed protest (although not her personally, but this has been uttered by one of her Christ cockswinging callers) in front of the store if THEY DO NOT recieve their copies in stock by next week. If this be the case- then why is Border's issuing this statement: saying that it is the publisher who are not printing enough copies to meet the demand?

I really wish that people would get their shit straight.

And I've noticed that a lot of conservative talk show hosts have been skirting around the issue of how the Brave and Mighty George Whatever Bush has been successful in cutting off everyone's OT. And how will this is a big boon in scoring votes? How is cutting off people's livihoods- people who work in public service such as Police, Medical and Emergency paramedics, and Bus Drivers who after bringing home the bacon when slaving off their asses for more than 50 plus hours find that they can't make the mortgage next month is supposed to benefit by this? I've been engaged in some friendly e-mail banter with the Friday's morning's conservative host, Kenneth Condor on WGNU (10 AM - 12 Noon Central Time) and has promised me that he will be tackling this can't punch your way out of a paper bag solution this week on his show, The Truth.
I can't wait. Because, I've haven't heard Larry Elderberry - Sean Humpadink or Bill O'Really? mention anything at all so I'll be dying to hear his rational behind this debacle.

Damn, I need that extra ten hours to pay off my credit cards. Not that I get the hours every week- cause, you know, sometimes I'm too busy cavorting with movie stars to pay any real attention to my job. It comes with the territory, you understand.

Tomorrow's California State Lotto is up to $75 million or it might have gone up again, who knows? - AND IT's ALL FUCKING MINE!! So keep your mitts off it and don't e-mail me with your unflushed toilet spams asking for a piece of it - cause you won't get it.
All proceeds go straight to the Landescape Productions Take Over the Free World Campaign, if you haven't already guessed.

Deposit Man News

Well like I've mentioned before in the last few entries, I've coaxed Larry into doing both the pencils and inks to the next Deposit Man book and I think he's already started on it, if cashing my check is any indictation. I've written and rewritten and rewritten yet again the final two pages over this weekend tying up every stinking loose nook and cranny that I've dragged each and every one of my debauched characters through the previous two issues until I was satisfied with it to hand over to Larry - AND EVEN NOW I'm writing the inside back cover which is a substitute way of saying that this last issue of the LAST GREAT GATE OF MORTALITY mini series will end with a epilogue that will hopefully bring it full circle. It also serves as a little parody on a very well known box office grossing political documentary that's been released within the last few months. People should get a big bang out of it.

After we've put that catastrophe behind us. Larry is going to resume those Betty Fusco shorts that he is supposedly painting for Heavy Metal Magazine. I haven't sat down to script the second mini story yet- but I wanted Larry to get a chance to jump on the next Deposit Man four issue arc, Playgod and do some pages for a possible preview ashcan that I may need in time for the next APE show in April of 2005. I have my fingers crossed to see if it all goes according to plan.

I'm also sitting down getting the vendor submission packet prepared for Diamond. I want to make sure to get it in the proper corrupted, er, I mean corporate grubby hands by Labor Day at least. I'm addressing it to the submissions guy who spoke to me at the last APE show and try to bluff my way through of not showing him the brutal monstrosity of the second act simply by including some photocopies of the first ten pages instead. MAS's cover to the third act of LAST GREAT GATE OF MORTALITY should be a surefire sell.

I have a Batman story that I've wanted to sell to DC for the longest time- but I'm not sure that the time is again right- it looks as if they've restructured the titles again- so that they're all connected into one big continous soap opera or novella like you see on those UHF spanish stations. I've been investigating the current storyline, WAR GAMES which was enticing enough for me to purchase the 12 cent BATMAN Adventure - but in order to follow through the whole storyline, you have to purchase the secondary Bat titles such as NIGHTWING, BIRDS OF PREY, and BATGIRL - which at $ 2.25 or 2.50 a pop can get pretty expensive and I no longer have the power of having any personal association or carte blanche with a comic book speciality shop anymore since ROOKIES & ALLSTARS shut down- so spending oodles of dough on little pretty words and pictures is getting very scarce for me these days. I'll try to get the remaining chapters at the new Kevin Smith operated store, Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash which is having its' grand opening in Westwood this weekend.
My old Jethro Tull brother-in-arm adoring comrade, Bob Schreck is only editing one Batman title these days- so I'm just waiting for the proper time to submit it to him. It's one diverse Batman story based on a old nightmare I had as a kid- and I think the darknight detective would properly fit in its' criteria.

I also have an idea for a Question story utilizing one of Batman's foes besides the Riddler that was used in the Denny O'Neil and Denys Cowan original groundbreaking run, (but in a guest artist issue penciled and inked by Ren & Stimpy animator, Bill Wray
. Don't let Denys hear me say that). Not one of the major nutjobs, but one who was at least awarded one episode in the definitive Animated Series (and I got the idea by reading thorugh the old letter columns) - . Here's a clue: He got away by referring to Joker, as Hermes. However, I'm waiting for the revival series to hit the stands and see what changes they've done to the character and see if it will work in that context. I mean, the Question with ties to the Superman universe? Not really Vic Sage's style

I saw Exorcist: The Beginning over the weekend- not really as horrendous as the critics made it to be. I was suprised that I would actually find it to be riveting- with me being the greatest Atheist that ever lived and such. And I'm certain, people will find some closure to the issues that weren't resolved in the original (or what is the re-issue) film. There are some nasty child birthing scenes ( Are Devils really hatched? If not, then where do deviled eggs come from? ) and a memorable butterfly effect scene that's more satisfying than a Ashton Kurcher thriller. It's a tolerable horror film with a lot of thought put behind it - not your usual hack'em slash 'em film, but maybe a strong appeal to intellect fancy pants elitists.

That's it for today- I'm pooped more than Triumph the Comic Insult Dog right about now.