MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE HALL OF STINK

Had another run in with Pepe last night and I suspect I will be having more for quite some time until autumn comes around. I tried to give a piece of chicken to Seven, the black cat with the white boots and Pepe spotted the exchange taking place and immediately started running towards me from his daily foliaging and pillaging of the Purina Cat Chow bowl to prance towards me to check out what amazing sleigh of hand gifts I had.

I took a few steps back. He too stopped in his tracks and suddenly his tail immediately perked up. Aw shit, here it comes, I thought , here comes the spray. I had to slam my foot down on the concrete pavement in my backyard and that luckily sent him scurrying back behind my brick barbecue. He didn't come out later until after dark whereas I made a second attempt to sneak up underwater and splash him face front from the pool. But he got wise to my plan- he must have seen me in the dark. One night, this fucker is going to do reverse the tables on me and do a cannonball on my face and bite my freaking nose which is going to wind up sending me to the emergency room for a tetanus shot.

But I've been so fucking bored lately- taking care of things around the house.

I swear every night I come home and I look out in the backyard- it's like a goddamn cat country club- freakin' five felines lounging at my pool- and they all look at me expecting for me to bring out a tray and serve them tender vittiles hors d'oeuvres or something along that nature.

This comic book cataloguing project I started to keep myself out of trouble while the landlords are away are proving to be a big pain in the ass. For one thing, I ran out of comic book boxes and was trying to alphabetize them and trying to shove a box into another box- but all I got for my trouble was a lot of scraped skin, especially around the cuticle area.

Well, I should be expecting a package in the mail today from Oliver concerning a few sample pages of the new font in action that is being applied to the new book and to see if it meets to my expectations.

Not much in movies this weekend. Will probably be attending the August edition of the Los Angeles Comic Book and Sci-Fi Convention this Sunday at the Shrine Auditorium near USC in downtown LA. The prospect of getting a t-shirt promoting the new Kate Beckingsale vampire flick, Underworld, suddenly appeals to me.

~

Coat

CATS AND SKUNKS IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD Part 2

Continuing with more skunk shenanigans on the wild habitat front of rural Sherman Oaks.

Things weren't as bad as yesterday. It was the last night that my landlords, Obi-Wan Danobi (I call him that, because he sort of resembles Alec Guiness) and the Dragon Lady (I'm not going to bother explaining that one) were out on vacation and things should be pretty much back to normal. Everything they go out vacationing to Mexico or Palm Springs, I'm in charge of running things around the house which is sort of a shrine to long deceased actor Jack Haley (the Tinman on the Wizard of Oz) of who they bought the house from. I don't know if he died here or not, but it's certainly one of the most unusual places I have lived in. Going on eight years now. So my main function is to keep the place spotless because when they go away they cut off all the basic amenities such as delivery of the LA Times (and they leave me the inferior LA Daily News as reward for my services in addition to the very dirt cheap rent I pay) and no non-English speaking housekeeper on Mondays. That means I have to water approximately 79 plants in the back and front yard and keep the pool clean and filled. The cats have to be fed twice a day. And I mean, the cats- not the skunks.

Yesterday, Larry Nadolsky dropped the ball on me and said he can't continue on with the Deposit Man in the same capacity as he is known to do due to a big account to design some pig drawings for some new t-shirt franchise that this guy is starting up. Sort of like my father used to do when he designed an entire line of t-shirts, coffee cups, and pillows except with fish caricatures. We sort of reached a compromise and that I would check in with him after I self published this new Deposit Man book and ask him again in November when I want to get the second act out in time for APE next year. So he said he would try to lay the pages out and have someone else fill in the rest - so Oliver Simonsen is willing to give it a shot if the shoe decides to drop. It's imperative that I have Larry involved in some capacity because I don't think anyone could ever take his place- because I feel no one can convey the characters emotions as much as he can in terms of facial expression. I mean, the Deposit Man may not actually have a face (a little item I subconsciously borrowed from Ditko's The Question) but for some unfathomable reason- his renditions are priceless and I wouldn't want to change it for anything else in the world- but I know, the collaboration is going to crumble one day simply because it's hard with all the distance between us and the cost of communication via phone and fed ex packages- and since he's out in the boondocks of Manitoba, Canada- internet connection is not so widely in circulation out where he is.

Oliver thinks I should spin off the two Hare Krisna imposters I have panhandling in the Beverly Hills Connection mall in the opening scene of the new book into their own series- I admit, it sounds tempting. I should inform Clive Nolan, keyboardist of the band Arena and Matt Goodluck, the band 's ex-vendor and sleeve designer man about this idea since I based both characters on them- but I'm wary that it might come off as a swipe off of Jay and Silent Bob- however, they're supposed to be English and in this country illegally, so that might be an advantage.

So while I'm yakking all this on the patio- goddamn if the skunk wasn't around to tried to sneak into the house- Right under the table and inbetween my legs- while I'm talking on the phone. Luckily my cat intervened and hissed at him and he ran back to whence he came- with me out of the way of course. This skunk is everywhere all of a sudden. And I I know I'll be in the proverbial cold shit soup if I either got bit or scratched - those guys carry rabies like you wouldn't believe. That cat of mine is a life saver- but he would place himself in mortal danger if he was locked in claw to claw combat.

The supervisors I work with are becoming such a big pain in the ass lately. This morning, one of them went through all my shit on my desk and rearranged things just because it looked unkept to her. I felt like going into her office and kicking her teeth in-- but then, that's why we have unions, right?. I basically told her to go whine to the boss if she doesn't like it and leave my freakin' desk alone. My keeping my desk untidy, and I mean, slightly untidy. (my messes are very well orchestrated, thank you) is nothing that supposed to affect my job performance. It's fucking invasion of privacy!

So is taking a picture of me without permission- of which I will go into great lengths tomorrow.

~

Coat

CARY COATNEY VS PEPE LE PEW

I've got a skunk infestation problem at my house.

For the past few months- the Dragon Lady's natural born daughter (as opposed to the ones she has adopted) Vanessa was told that she couldn't keep her two cats at her new apartment by her landlord- so the best recourse of action for her was to bring them over to the house and have them live in the backyard. At first the cats were freaked out, and one immediately ran away- but managed to come back because, I guess he missed his 'brother'. Vanessa was told she would have to supply their own food - because my cat, Nikita has her own food and amenities and has the freedom to do whatever she damn well pleases- so if they get in her way- she's bound to kick ass and believe me, she can take on these two big galoots- I've seen her in action and she strikes faster than a slithering eel.

I wasn't keen on the idea- I mean, these cats were once indoor cats, and now they have to fend for themselves in the great outdoors- but as time went on- they've adapted and sometimes they sneak in the house to curl up on the couch or something- just as long as they don't get in Nikita's way, they're fine. I've gotten used to them too, and I've grown particularly fond of the black one with the white belly and feet. The other one, whose name is Seven is still a pisser- he doesn't allow anyone to go near her even if you're bringing food- she bolts over a Tiki statue that we have in our pool area and leaps over the fence to the neighbor's yard- but the black one will at least stick around to see what you're really up to and anxiously awaits to feast each and every time- which means more food for her.

Or so I thought.

Lately, it seems that the whole cat community in Sherman Oaks knows when I leave food out (particularly this one dark black cat who leads the pack whose face I want so badly to smash in. I once caught him trying to scarf my cat's supply inside the house. Fucker bit me on the hand too trying to chase him out.) and they hide in the trees and under the barbecue grill staking the place out just to run off with some of the bland tasting Purina Cat Chow (well, the stuff looks inferior to what I feed Nikita- I'm not too sure on the taste). The grub stealing really intensifies when I put out the wet stuff, that fights have literally broken out between our 'guests' and the unwelcomed feline committee- now I can throw in a family of skunks into the mix.

Skunks are not unusual in my area- although they are known all over the world - some have not seen them up close. The people who were visiting at the house from the U.K last week have never seen one before until they saw one feasting on one of the cat bowls. They usually come out at night like the rest of the delinquent scavengers - but this one who made itself a 'uninvited guest' has been bold enough to be seen just as the sun is going down. And you would think by the way he is behaving, that he's just one of the boys trying to get it's fair share. A little too much, I might add. This skunk goes strolling in like he owns the place, and the cats are smart enough to get out of it's way, cause I'd imagine they would know what would happen if they choose to fuck around with it. The skunk will approach the food bowl a different way from the way cats eat. The skunk actually will scoop food out of the bowl with its' paws and eat it off the ground- Even though, I find this all entertaining to observe, I've beginning to notice that Pepe will try to 'hog' all the food for himself and frankly, I have to start putting my foot down.

Last Sunday night around 11 o'clock, I went swimming in the pool and spotted the skunk going at it again, with the cats idly standing by hoping they will be a crumb left for them to skirmish over. The skunk paused and walked over to the pool to take a drink- little knowing that I was on the opposite end hiding behind some plants whose vines happen to extend over the water.

I thought it would be fun to go over and sneak up and splash the shit out of it. Using some stealthly dog paddle method I devised to sneak up on all my underwater enemies- I went about half way until Pepe caught on to the game - and immediately turn itself around preparing itself to spray.

I ducked underwater and swam back, then ran back inside the house and locked all the friggin' doors.

Not one of my best ideas.

Last night, the skunk brought over some of his party guests (Pepe, party of three?) and I had to spend a good portion of the twilight hours chasing them off by tossing shit off the roof and out of bedroom windows (like rolled up paper bags). They weren't getting the message and so I had to resort to picking up a few broom handles and hurling 'em like javelins- but I was careful enough not to hit any of them. I mean, skunks are beautiful animals and l really have no desire to hurt (I like the raccoons too, but they are only interested in the grapevines growing on the roof of the house), but those cats have got to come first and they're going to have to simply learn how to wait their turn.

The good fight for proper wild animal etiquette rages on.

~

Coat

ANOTHER FLAT CAN OF SODA SPILLED ON MY FUCKING KEYBOARD

Now I've got to get the sponge out and clean it all up, but after I finish posting this- gah, it's all sticky.

Well, I've read today with great disappointment that DC is reviving the Question series with Rick Veitch at the helm. So much for sitting down and constructing my own submission for a Vertigo one-shot- oh, wait a minute- it's only a six-issue mini-series, so maybe Rick's concept won't fly. I'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt- 'cause I do like some of his work, especially since he had big shoes to fill when he took over Swamp Thing from Alan Moore - and DC gave him a swift kick in the ass when he wasn't allowed to show Swamp Thing meet up with Jesus Christ, and then of course, there was the independent comic he did called Rare Bit Fiends. But I don't know, placing or making Vic Sage a supporting player in the Superman line of books has got me apprehensive- the Question when written by Denny O'Neil covered the whole gamut of a man that was bascially just trying to save his city from succumbing to complete corruption. The politicians were crooked. The cops were dirty, and couldn't help protect anybody from the rapid explosion of street gangs taking over parts of the city. Even public services were in a serious bout of disarray. One man against an entire system, and what's so unique about it, is that Vic Sage tries to do everything in his power to settle it passively- (but you know how that path always go.) I re-read the last issue of the O'Neil/Cowan/Jones series late last night- and I'll be damned if it didn't exhibit influences of Ayn Rand or dare I say, the old Patrick McGoohan sixties series, The Prisoner.(Vic Sage overcomes many obstacles to make his final escape from Hub City) I always felt that the character should have been relaunched under the Vertigo masthead.

MAS hasn't exactly finished my new Deposit Man cover yet- as he thought he would be.

I'm thinking of when both movies, Constantine and Catwoman go in production, that I might sneak down the lot and check out what's going on and then report back here.

~

Coat

STREAMLINED OLD TIME RADIO KILLED THE CD PLAYER STAR

Alright, I'm getting a little worried here. I didn't make any contact whatsoever with MAZ concerning my cover. No one is picking up the phone and there seems to be no answering machine at the place he is staying. I've heard from people at his old number that he does tend to move around a lot- so I imagine he'll get in touch with me soon - to see if I have the remainder of the balance. I told him last week that I can only spot him another $100 because I wasn't expecting him to finish until sometime next month. Perhaps, he gave the painting a gloss over or had second thoughts and decided it wasn't really finished.

My landlords, The Dragon Lady and Obi-Wan Danobi are out to Mexico this week-
I wish I had the funds lying around to be a 'naughty boy', like go out and throw a party or do some highlighting in my little black book- but I have so much expenses this month like rent and paying off some credit cards debts left over from San Diego. At the end of next week, I gotta use those same credit cards for my trip to Vegas on Labor Day weekend and pay the remaining balance on that Las Vegas Comic Con table that I went and put a deposit on.

So I decided to amuse myself with a little project. In addition to having to feed the residing cats and watering the plants that surround this seven bedroom house, I think it would be a good time to pilfer through the comics that I have stashed in the garage and do an inventory on them. There are definitely some things I have run across that I even forgot I owned like for example; there was a three-issue Batman arc that guest starred Deadman that was rendered by Kelly Jones that was shipped with each issue a seperate glow in the dark cover. I had to keep turning the lights off in the garage to refresh my memory of what the covers actually looked like.

My boss at work- says I gotta cut down on the rock music now that I'm in my little office at work, so that way my supervisors, the over fifty fat farm club, can communicate with me without yelling or repeating whatever they said. So I've devised a schedule to what I listen to during my average work day on streamlined Windows Media:

Between 8:30 - 10 PM listen to talk and commentary on St. Louis talk staion WGNU - which is a eclectic blend of liberals, conservatives, religion fanatics, and Bush lovers and haters all gathered trying to make sense of it all.

Then I switch to the first two of stations that play old time radio shows. Mediabay.com has Stan Freberg offering trivia and reminiscencing about those golden days of yesteryear on his "When Radio Was" show. It never runs longer than forty-five minutes.

More radio shows are streamlined though Brando Classis radio shows- some hole in the wall mom and pop website that has a huge vast library of old radio shows and usually have a daily theme like detective shows on Mondays, Westerns on Wednesdays, etc;. The drawback to this station is that it doesn't buffer completely and there seems to be a plethora of christian sponsored bible-thumping commericals.

I take lunch and when I come back-

I listen to a few CDs and a radio station called www.deliciousagony.com that plays prog music 24 hours a day accompanied bya live DJ with music that comes in all over the world and it's music that designed to blow peoples's minds.

~

Coat