The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Friday, September 30, 2005


(Part deux)

There are probably better newsworthy stories to talk about other than rehash the propagation of the too numerous to mention debuts of hot bodied actress hitting your local tv waves. It's almost dawning on yesterday's news - especially when you have hot Friday movie opening events such as the vagina tag team supreme of Ashley Scott and Jessica Alba in the long, over delayed Columbia Pictures Into the Blue, the cuties on board on Joss Wheldon's Serenity, Maria Bello in A History of Violence, or far too least to mention, Jodie Foster all buffed out as when All Mothers Attack when their young are kidnapped in Flightplan.

In addition to all these movies opening up (not least to mention, the limited release of Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean's Mirrormask) the PP Guru is going to try to check out the WEHO Book Fair and check out to see if the PP Guru gets a honorable mention from the mouths of Clive Barker, Micheal Connelly, or the aforementioned Neil Gaiman (to be interviewed by Heidi Ace MacDonald no less) - the PP Guru doesn't expected them to, knowing how much this blog touches all our lives, but it would warm the tunic cockles just the same.

Sparky has mentioned that this section is turning to much into the 'Man Show' - but the PP Guru digresses and says thee nay - there are no men on this blog - just Gurus. The PP Guru however, would take the idea of the PP Guru Show under advisement.

For now- we have our marching orders:



Farewell for now- ~ Coat

Sparky's note - as what seems to be happening to the Guru is rather illegal and his Union wasn't notified -- maybe the Guru can return. Pray for Coat. Better yet — email him a job opportunity. His last message to me was:

This is to inform you all that I have been temporary laid off from Warner Brothers effective as of today. I don't know when I'll be back again. I will only be answering e-mails for the foreseeable future through my yahoo account or you may log on to my blog: Purple Pinup Guru Platform and leave messages for me there. I apologize for the inconvenience. Well, it's not like I get a lot of e-mails anyway, but I just do it for the formality.
- Sparky

Thursday, September 29, 2005


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Ten Things to Think About: Wrongful Discharge

Do you know what it means to be "wrongfully discharged" from employment? Do you know that there are many, many things employers can do to perhaps inadvertently expose themselves to a wrongful discharge suit? Do you know the steps that must be taken to bring a wrongful discharge claim? Do you know that employees can receive many different types of damages if they have been wrongfully discharged?

  1. Although many employment relationships are "at-will," meaning that either the employer or the employee may terminate the relationship at any time with or without reason, that does not mean that employers can act in a discriminatory manner. If an employer terminates an employee, even one who is "at-will," in violation of federal, state, or local anti-discrimination laws, it can face serious legal troubles.
  2. Federal anti-discrimination laws protect employees from being discharged or otherwise penalized with respect to the terms and conditions of employment on the bases of race, color, national origin, sex, religion, disability, pregnancy, and age. State laws may mirror these categories of protections and may also expand upon them.
  3. Not all wrongful discharge claims are discrimination-based. If an employee is given a contract of employment, either expressly or impliedly, and is terminated before the expiration of, and in violation of, that contract he or she may be able to bring a claim for wrongful discharge and breach of employment contract.
  4. Wrongful discharge suits may also be brought in situations where the employer has retaliated against an employee for exercising a right that is supported by public policy within the jurisdiction. For example, if an employee is terminated because he or she reported the employer to a governmental body for violation of workplace safety laws, the employee may be able to successfully bring a wrongful discharge lawsuit.
  5. If an employee refuses, at the demand of the employer, to perform an illegal act and is subsequently terminated, there may be a wrongful discharge cause of action. For example, if a construction employer demands that an employee perform work at a height without safety ropes, and the employee refuses and is thereafter fired, they may be able to bring a wrongful discharge claim.
  6. If an employee is terminated for taking time off under a law which gives him or her a legal right to have that time off, such as time off for voting or military service, he or she may also have a wrongful discharge cause of action.
  7. An employer who has not followed specific disciplinary and termination policies that are in place can also face a wrongful discharge suit. For example, if an employer has a handbook that states that employees are entitled to receive two written warnings for misconduct or poor performance before they are terminated, and an employee is terminated after receiving only one verbal warning, that employee may be able to successfully bring a wrongful discharge action.
  8. If you are the victim of a wrongful discharge due to your membership in a protected class, there are some situations in which you cannot immediately bring your employer into court. Instead, under most federal laws you must first file a charge of complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). Similarly, if you are seeking the protection of state anti-discrimination laws, you must file a charge or complaint with the state or local equivalent agency. Make sure that you review and understand the legal requirements you must comply with in bringing a wrongful discharge claim.
  9. Depending upon the situation, damages available to wrongfully discharged employees can include back pay, promotion, reinstatement, front pay, compensatory damages, required reasonable accommodations, injunctive relief, punitive damages, and attorneys' fees.
  10. Given the myriad of ways in which an employer can wrongfully discharge an employee, the number of reasons (whether legal or not) that an employer may give for discharging an employee, and the significant damages that may be awarded, it is a good idea for both a terminated employee and an employer to retain counsel. An experienced attorney can help sort out the various issues and protect the rights and reputations of their client, whether the client is the employee or the employer.
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Wrongful dismissal

Wrongful dismissal (also wrongful termination or wrongful discharge)is an idiom and legal phrase, describing a situation in which an employee's contract of employment has been terminated by the employer in circumstances where the termination breaches one or more terms of the contract of employment, or a statute provision in employment law. It follows that the scope for Wrongful Dismissal varies according to the terms of the employment contract, and varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. Note that the absence of a formal contract of employment does not preclude Wrongful Dismissal in jurisdictions in which a de facto contract is taken to exist by virtue of the employment relationship. Terms of such a contract may include obligations and rights outlined in an employee handbook.

Examples of wrongful dismissal might include:

  • dismissal without going through a contractually mandated dismissal process, which might involve an escalating series of warning letters, &c, where grounds for dismissal are not such as to meet the test for summary dismissal.
  • dismissal for a wrongful cause, for instance in a circumstance in which a dismissible action is falsely attributed to an employee.
  • illegal discrimination (including cases where another "sham" cause is stated).

Wrongful dismissal will tend to arise first as a claim by the employee so dismissed. Many jurisdictions provide tribunals or courts which will hear actions for wrongful dismissal. A proven wrongful dismissal will tend to lead to two main remedies: reinstatement of the dismissed employee, and/or monetary compensation for the wrongfully dismissed.

A related situation is constructive dismissal, in which an employee feels no choice but to resign from employment for reasons imposed by the employer.

One way to avoid potential liability for wrongful dismissal is to institute an employment probation period after which a new employee is automatically terminated unless there is sufficient justification NOT to do so. The dismissed employee may still assert a claim, but proof will be more difficult, as the employer may have broad discretion with retaining such a temporary employee.

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The blog shall live and we'll try and get Cary back! - Sparky

SPARKY: Where's the uproar? Why hasn't Rumsfeld, Rove, Novak and their numerous cronies been tarred feathered and then pilloried before being headed to Leavenworth?

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See, Rummy is just making sure “Poppy” and the Carlyle Group get their blood stained profits from selling better armor to American troops in Iraq after allowing the Pentagon to send them there with inadequate protection. But some of you were aware of 'hillbilly armored' humvees out there in Iraq.

A Humvee burns after an attack in Baghdad on March 2 that left one U.S. soldier dead. Hadi Mizban / AP file cite fair use
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Figure he's as big a traitor as Rove? Share your opinion.

AP: Lolita C. Baldor: Troops Wait for Body Armor Reimbursements
Pentagon fails to figure out how to pay back troops' personal expenditures

Image: A U.S. soldier patrols a Baghdad street on Tuesday.
A U.S. soldier patrols a Baghdad street on Tuesday.

WASHINGTON - Nearly a year after Congress demanded action, the Pentagon has still failed to figure out a way to reimburse soldiers for body armor and equipment they purchased to better protect themselves while serving in Iraq.

Soldiers and their parents are still spending hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars for armor they say the military won’t provide. One U.S. senator said Wednesday he will try again to force the Pentagon to obey the reimbursement law it opposed from the outset and has so far not implemented.

Chairman of the Joint Chiefs U.S. Air Force Gen. Richard B. Myers (L) speaks while U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld (R) listens as they brief the press at the Pentagon, September 27, 2005. REUTERS/Larry Downing - cite fair use

Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-Conn., said he will offer amendments to the defense appropriations bill working its way through Congress, to take the funding issue out of the hands of Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld and give control to military unit commanders in the field.

“Rumsfeld is violating the law,” Dodd said in an interview with The Associated Press. “It’s been sitting on the books for over a year. They were opposed to it. It was insulting to them. I’m sorry that’s how they felt.”

Pentagon spokeswoman Air Force Lt. Col. Ellen Krenke said the department “is in the final stages of putting a reimbursement program together and it is expected to be operating soon.” But defense officials would not discuss the reason for the delay.

Krenke said the Pentagon’s first priority is to ensure that soldiers “have all they need to fight and win this nation’s wars.”

Others don’t see it that way.

'Not good enough'
“Your expectation is that when you are sent to war, that our government does everything they can do to protect the lives of our people, and anything less than that is not good enough,” said a former Marine who spent nearly $1,000 two weeks ago to buy lower-body armor for his son, a Marine serving in Fallujah.

The father asked that he be identified only by his first name — Gordon — because he is afraid of retribution against his son.

“I wouldn’t have cared if it cost us $10,000 to protect our son, I would do it,” said Gordon. “But I think the U.S. has an obligation to make sure they have this equipment and to reimburse for it. I just don’t support Donald Rumsfeld’s idea of going to war with what you have, not what you want. You go to war prepared, and you don’t go to war until you are prepared.”

''I wouldn't have cared if it cost us $10,000 to protect our son, I would do it. But I think the U.S. has an obligation to make sure they have this equipment and to reimburse for it.''

-- A former Marine who spent nearly $1,000 two weeks ago to buy body armor for his son, a Marine serving in Fallujah

'Rumsfeld is violating the law. It's been sitting on the books for over a year. They were opposed to it. It was insulting to them. I'm sorry that's how they felt.''

-- Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-Conn., on the defense secretary and Pentagon

The Defense Department ''is in the final stages of putting a reimbursement program together, and it is expected to be operating soon.''

-- Air Force Lt. Col. Ellen Krenke, Pentagon spokeswoman

''It just became an accepted part of the culture. If you were National Guard or Reserve... you were going to spend a lot of money out of your pocket.''

-- Paul Rieckhoff, Iraq veteran and executive director of Operation Truth, an advocacy group for Iraq veterans

Under the law passed by Congress last October, the Defense Department had until Feb. 25 to develop regulations for the reimbursement, which is limited to $1,100 per item. Pentagon officials opposed the reimbursement idea, calling it “an unmanageable precedent that will saddle the DOD with an open-ended financial burden.”

In a letter to Dodd in late April, David Chu, undersecretary of defense for personnel, said his office was developing regulations to implement the reimbursement, and would be done in about 60 days.

'Serious shortages'
Soldiers and their families have reported buying everything from higher-quality protective gear to armor for their Humvees, medical supplies and even global positioning devices.

“The bottom line is that Donald Rumsfeld and the Defense Department are failing soldiers again,” said Paul Rieckhoff, executive director of Operation Truth, an advocacy group for Iraq veterans.

“It just became an accepted part of the culture. If you were National Guard or Reserve, or NCOs, noncommissioned officers, you were going to spend a lot of money out of your pocket,” said Rieckhoff, who was a platoon leader with the 3rd Infantry Division and served in Iraq from the invasion in March 2003 to spring 2004. “These are bureaucratic failures, but when they make mistakes like this, guys die. There has been progress made, but we’re still seeing serious shortages.”

Dodd said he is worried the Pentagon will reject most requests for reimbursement. Turning the decision over to the troop commanders will prevent that, he said, because the commanders know what their soldiers need and will make better decisions about what to reimburse.

Dodd also said he wants to eliminate the deadline included in the original law, which allowed soldiers to seek reimbursement for items bought between September 2001 and July 2004. Now, he said, he wants it to be open-ended.

“I’m tired of this, obviously they’re not getting the job done,” said Dodd. “If you have to go out and buy equipment to protect yourself, you’re going to get reimbursed.”

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Get your ROVE TRUTH SQUAD patrol car ready - your Google News Crawl -
National Review's Jonah Goldberg: "Man Is This A Drag"...
Huffington Post, NY - 14 hours ago

... Get ready for a long year Jonah. Rove is up next and then Frist. If Rove is indicted in Plamegate the right will need medication to come out of their funk. ...

Bush adviser Karl Rove raises funds in Lexington, KY - Sep 27, 2005
President Bush's right-hand man, Karl Rove, took time out from drafting the White House's plans to rebuild the Gulf Coast in order to help raise $300,000 for ...

Rove and Norquist Ruining America
BuzzFlash, IL - 21 hours ago
... With Karl Rove at the head of hurricane reconstruction and Grover Norquist as the defacto manager of our fiscal policy, their failed conservative and ...

Last Weekend Karl Rove Said I Was a Clown
Common Dreams, ME - Sep 26, 2005
Last weekend, Karl Rove said that I was a clown and the antiwar movement was "non-existent." I wonder if the hundreds of thousands of people who showed up ...

Taa for now - Sparky

Wednesday, September 28, 2005


U.S. house majority leader DeLay indicted, steps down temporarily


September 28, 2005

U.S House of Representatives majority leader Tom DeLay was indicted today by a Travis County Texas grand jury on conspiracy charges. He annouced that he will step down temporarily.

Dishonored and
U.S House of Representatives majority leader Tom DeLay
Mr. DeLay's attorney Steve Brittain said that DeLay was accused of a criminal conspiracy in a campaign finance scheme along with two associates, namely John Colyandro, former executive director of a Texas political action committee formed by DeLay, and Jim Ellis, the head of DeLay's national political committee.

According to the indictment, "the defendants herein, with the intent that a felony be committed, did enter into an agreement with one or more of each other with a general purpose committee known as Texans for a Republican Majority PAC (Political action committee) that one or more of them would engage in conduct that would constitute the offense of knowingly making a political contribution in violation of Subchapter D of Chapter 253 of the Texas Election Code..."

Mr. DeLay, upon announcement of the indictment, made a solitary public comment: "I have notified the speaker that I will temporarily step aside from my position as majority leader pursuant to rules of the House Republican Conference and the actions of the Travis County district attorney today."

Earlier, DeLay denied all charges in the lengthy investigation. Bill White, another of DeLay's attorneys, said "it's a skunky indictment if they have one." DeLay's spokesman, Kevin Madden, called the indictment "nothing more than prosecutorial retribution by a partisan Democrat," refering to prosecutor Ronnie Earle, a Democrat.

According to House Republican party rules, DeLay must resign upon indictment. Party officals told the Associated Press that Speaker of the House, Dennis Hastert R-Illinois, will likely recommend Republican David Dreier of California as replacement, while some duties may also go to Majority whip Roy Blunt, R-Missouri.

DeLay has previously been admonished three times by a Congressional ethics committee, for "objectionable behavior".

House Republicans earlier eliminated the rule requiring his resignation upon indictment, but reinstated it fearing voters' outcry.

DeLay's Political Action Committee, Texans for a Republican Majority, was earlier indicted on charges it accepted corporate contributions for use in state legislative elections. Texas law prohibits corporate money from being used in elections, permitting it only for administrative expenses.

Having gained GOP control of Texas' legislature, DeLay masterminded a redistricting plan in 2004 that allowed the GOP to gain six seats in the U.S. House, formerly won by Democrats, and build a majority in Congress. In one case, one lawmaker switched parties, to maintain office.

External Links


AP: LARRY MARGASAK: DeLay Indicted in Campaign Finance Probe

DeLay Indicted in Texas Campaign Finance Probe; Expected to Temporarily Relinquish Majority Post

Sep. 28, 2005
House Majority Leader
Tom DeLay, R-Texas,
looks on during a
news conference
regarding Hurricane
Katrina on Capitol
Hill in this
Sept. 2, 2005
file photo in
Washington. A
Texas grand jury
on Wednesday
Sept. 28, 2005
charged DeLay and
two political
associates with
conspiracy in a
campaign finance
scheme, an indictment
that could force
him to step down
as House majority
leader. (AP Photo
Charles Dharapak,
cite fair use)
A Texas grand jury on Wednesday charged Rep. Tom DeLay and two political associates with conspiracy in a campaign finance scheme, an indictment that likely will force him to step down as House majority leader.

DeLay attorney Steve Brittain said DeLay was accused of a criminal conspiracy along with two associates, John Colyandro, former executive director of a Texas political action committee formed by DeLay, and Jim Ellis, who heads DeLay's national political committee.

GOP congressional officials said the plan was for DeLay to temporarily relinquish his leadership post and Speaker Dennis Hastert will recommend that Rep. David Dreier of California step into those duties.

Some of the duties may go to the GOP whip, Rep. Roy Blunt of Missouri. The Republican rank and file may meet as early as Wednesday night to act on Hastert's recommendation.

"The defendants enetered into an agreement with each other or with TRMPAC (Texans for a Republican Majority Political Action Committee) to make a political contribution in violation of the Texas election code," says the four-page indictment. "The contribution was made directly to the Republican National Committee within 60 days of a general election."

The indictment against the second-ranking, and most assertive Republican leader came on the final day of the grand jury's term. It followed earlier indictments of a state political action committee founded by DeLay and three of his political associates.

The grand jury action is expected to have immediate consequences in the House, where DeLay is largely responsible for winning passage of the Republican legislative program. House Republican Party rules require leaders who are indicted to temporarily step aside from their leadership posts.

However, DeLay retains his seat representing Texas' 22nd congressional district, suburbs southwest of Houston.

DeLay has denied committing any crime and accused the Democratic district attorney leading the investigation, Ronnie Earle, of pursuing the case for political motives.

Democrats have kept up a crescendo of criticism of DeLay's ethics, citing three times last year that the House ethics committee admonished DeLay for his conduct.

Earlier, DeLay attorney Bill White told reporters, "It's a skunky indictment if they have one."

As a sign of loyalty to DeLay after the grand jury returned indictments against three of his associates, House Republicans last November repealed a rule requiring any of their leaders to step aside if indicted. The rule was reinstituted in January after lawmakers returned to Washington from the holidays fearing the repeal might create a backlash from voters.

DeLay, 58, also is the center of an ethics swirl in Washington. The 11-term congressman was admonished last year by the House ethics committee on three separate issues and is the center of a political storm this year over lobbyists paying his and other lawmakers' tabs for expensive travel abroad.

Wednesday's indictment stems from a plan DeLay helped set in motion in 2001 to help Republicans win control of the Texas House in the 2002 elections for the first time since Reconstruction.

A state political action committee he created, Texans for a Republican Majority, was indicted earlier this month on charges of accepting corporate contributions for use in state legislative races. Texas law prohibits corporate money from being used to advocate the election or defeat of candidates; it is allowed only for administrative expenses.

With GOP control of the Texas legislature, DeLay then engineered a redistricting plan that enabled the GOP take six Texas seats in the U.S. House away from Democrats including one lawmaker switching parties in 2004 and build its majority in Congress.

Copyright 2005 The Associated Press.


Today Tom DeLay's House of Scandal took a wrecking ball as he was indicted in Texas for - what else - criminal conspiracy related to illegal corporate fundraising.

Tom DeLay, the most powerful Republican the House has ever seen, is under indictment. Senate Leader Bill Frist and White House mastermind Karl Rove are likewise mired in federal investigations.

But Tom DeLay and Bill Frist are not alone in their shady style of governing - it is a systemic problem in the Republican Party that goes far beyond these two men. Tom DeLay's hardnosed influence peddling has permeated the Republican money machine, from the top strategists and committees to the lowliest backbenchers in the Congress. This is the Party that is deciding the fate of the country we love. We cannot allow it to continue.

If you contribute $35, $50, or more to the DCCC today, your contribution will be DOUBLED!

Nothing could have highlighted better the reasons for the DCCC's Campaign for Change. The poetic justice of DeLay being indicted on the very anniversary of the self-righteous Contract with America will go down in history as one of the most spectacular falls in American politics, and the closing chapter in the so-called "Republican Revolution."

The days of selling out the American people to big oil and the pharmaceutical industry must end. It is time for a new day, a wholesale change in the House of Representatives. America need not waste its time, resources, and treasure on this culture of corruption any longer.

If you contribute $35, $50, or more to the DCCC today, your contribution will be DOUBLED!

The DCCC is focused on ousting Tom DeLay and his cronies. We told you about Tom DeLay's scandals and super-lobbyist Jack Abramoff, known as "Director of Travel for DeLay Inc." We launched our House of Scandal website, and we have been relentless in exposing every Member of Congress tied to DeLay. We are not going to rest.

We must put Democrats in the majority to put an end to this corruption once and for all. A strong showing at the end of the quarter will prove to the Republicans that we have the resources to hold them accountable. Make your contribution today and I will personally see to it that every dollar goes to exposing Republicans for their betrayal of America's trust:

If you contribute $35, $50, or more to the DCCC today, your contribution will be DOUBLED!

Under House rules, Tom DeLay DOES NOT have to resign as a Member of Congress. Under the rules of the GOP conference, he ONLY has to step down from his leadership post while under indictment.

This means it is up to us -- you, me and the DCCC -- to make sure Tom DeLay does not keep his seat. We need to defeat him and his cronies in 2006.

With the indictment of DeLay, the "Republican Revolution" and their precious "Contract with America" are exposed as frauds. The whole Republican system of pay-to-play politics and lobbyist-driven legislating that DeLay put into place, benefiting the special interests at the expense of average families and our country. Until that system is dismantled and the "people's House" is returned to the people, Congress will not address the challenges and concerns facing families across our nation.

We need to bring a permanent end to DeLay's House of Scandal. We need leadership that will work for the American people and not the special interests like the oil and gas industries and the big drug and insurance companies.

We will work with you to take the Democratic message into every corner of the country, and make sure Republicans' constituents know that their representatives have been serving the interests of an indicted, entrenched influence-peddler instead of their own.

The Republican Party has betrayed the trust of the American people, and it is time that they are thrown out. It's our job to make that happen, and we will with your help.

Over the next year, we'll need your input and your action; today we need your help to make our fundraising goal and show the Republicans their time is over:

If you contribute $35, $50, or more to the DCCC today, your contribution will be DOUBLED!

You'll hear much, much more from us soon. This is only the beginning.

Thank you.


John Lapp Executive Director, DCCC

Peace Out!
- Sparky :D

Tuesday, September 27, 2005


Since it's a slow news day here at PP Guru Central HQ, we'll jump ahead of schedule and resume with the PP Guru's last event filled weekend full of espionage, betrayal, and wanton bouts of uncontrolled destructive laughter.

When we last left Peyote Place, the PP Guru was under the impression that his *ahem* film star neighbor was deeply involved in a heated affair with his upstairs neighbor - former cartoon brutha-in-arms, No Rush Geoffrey after he caught him sneaking down the stairs to her apartment at 1 AM (although- it may have been an illusion brewing in the fragmented mind of the PP Guru after polishing off a bottle of Yellowtail Merlot and dreary eyed from watching a Genesis retrospect video on his portable DVD player) .

The PP Guru's fragile heart which is powered only by the flutter of hummingbird wings had slowly developed that sinking heart to the pit of his stomach feeling . He had the lost the contest of luring his *ahem* film star neighbor to a blissful communion of harmonic carnal convergence even before it's begun. Well actually, records inadvertingly show that the PP Guru was the first guy that *ahem* film star neighbor had talked to when she was deciding on moving into the place- so the PP Guru had predicted that their destinies would someday be entwined because the curiosity factor was starting to kick in. So when upstairs neighbor NO Rush Geoffrey made his suave move on his *ahem* film star neighbor - the PP Guru was in a tirade of mixed emotions- because he's also on very good terms with No Rush Geoffrey - The PP Guru and No Rush Geoffrey would hang together outside the porch and watch Batman and Superman cartoons on his portable DVD player. No Rush Geoffrey also has the unprecedented talent of memorizing and reciting every old 1960's Marvel Superhero theme song in PERFECT PITCH. No Rush Geoffrey has also expressed interest in taking out his bass guitar and coming over to jam with the PP Guru when he plays with his new Alesis SQ6.2 synthesizer.

But as the facts of life state clearly in the unfairly unwritten law:

Big gigantic black cocks conquer all.

So the PP Guru thought it would just be better if he would quietly conceed his over abundant feelings, his bitter defeat, and not say a damn thing about how this dire situation has been affecting him of late.

But a funny thing happened last Saturday afternoon.

The PP Guru had been locked away in his bedroom watching cartoon dvds and other stuff. He wasn't watching them outside because the weather outside was starting to get a little balmy. So when he took a break and stepped outside he found his roommate for over the past year, You can me Ray, but don't call me Ray Charles late for dinner also making time with his *ahem* film star neighbor - AND he also got invited inside her apartment. And so was the handyman followed inside her apartment. AND pretty soon so was the carpet cleaner. AND the plummer. AND... well, it appeared that she was getting things worked on at her place and wanted to show it off to her *ahem* slave boy minion neighbots. So while the PP Guru was finishing off one of his good old fashioned PEYOTE STOGGIES ... NO Rush Geoffrey swung by and asked the PP Guru why he wasn't watching his cartoons that morning. The PP Guru told him that fall was finally starting to creeped in and nonchalantly asked what his upstairs neighbor had been doing for the past week. When he last saw him, he was doing his piss poor Nick Fury imitation of sneaking in his *ahem* film star neighbor's apartment last early Sunday morning.

And No Rush Geoffrey said, 'oh you know- I was just kicking back with *ahem* film star neighbor ( yeah, the PP Guru bets you were!) and she got around to talking about some interesting things and some other not so interesting things, but it seems PP Guru, that she has some kind of fondness for you. You're always out helping her move things and offering to help her in any way- so she thinks that the whole world of devoid of any gentlemen until you came along. There were sometimes when all she can't do is but talk about nothing but the PP Guru. It's like you've got her under some kind of magical juju spell, PP Guru."

"Now, what are you going to do about it, PP Guru? "

"Huh, what do you ever mean, NO Rush Geoffrey? "

"Why don't you go over to her apartment and talk to her, PP Guru? "

"Well, No Rush Geoffrey, what would the PP Guru say to her? It's just fate that the PP Guru happens to be in the right time and the right place when she's around. And the PP Guru doesn't believe that chivalry is quite dead. It's just natural instinct for a fellow Guru such as the PP Guru himself to help out a beautiful buxom babe that used to be a very popular *ahem* film star' and to make sure that she is made comfortable and feels protected in our little hacienda'. Although the words *ahem* film star was put in a another delicate matter.

No Rush Geoffrey then grabbed the PP Guru by his bugaloo googles and dragged him to his *ahem* film star neighbor's front door- but his *ahem* film star neighbor was too engrossed to notice the PP Guru's trepid intimidation as she was frantically showing off the improvements made to her apartment. Evidently the PP Guru mustered the will to step foot in her apartment and checked out the air conditioning unit that was installed in her bedroom of which she cajoled was going to be her new 'workout' room full of exercise room equipment and barbells. Oh great, as the thought balloon above the PP Guru's head germinated into life, she's going to be working out at all odds in the morning and will sweating to the oldies with only a thin wall to seperate us. Golly. How lucky could the PP Guru be?

Then something strange occured with No Rush Geoffrey 's candor, as he was talking to our *ahem* film star neighbor on the subject of a garage gate key. Our *ahem* film star neighbor has been asking for a key to the garage gate from management since the time she's moving so she can put stuff in storage. She wanted to know from No Rush Geoffrey, if she could borrow his so she could run over to the corner cigarette stand and get a copy made from the owner there (who incidentally was the PP Guru's neighbor before *ahem* film star neighbor moved in). Geoffrey who is not in quite of a big rush started to reluctantly rebuff her request and told her that it's upstairs somewhere and we'll have to go up and look for it.

OK - what kind of game is No Rush Geoffrey is playing here? What mixed signals are we trying to send to the PP Guru? So since the PP Guru doesn't understand Swazi, he backed off from the encoded conversation and went back to whatever he was doing. Don't call me Ray Late for Dinner Charles was long gone- probably off to work- leaving his room free for the PP Guru to utilize Don't call me Ray Late For Dinner Charles' cable tv to tape new Teen Titans and Justice League episodes.

Regardless, a half hour later, the PP Guru was getting restless and was about to leave to go hang out for a bit in downtown Sherman Oaks. He went outside to read a comic and smoke a cigarette before leaving- but then, from the back entrance gate, our *ahem* film star neighbor came bursting in hysterically upset- at which the PP Guru first thought was at himself, but it turned out that: "PP Guru, do you know what No Rush Geoffrey just did to me?"

Something that required the material aid of a yardstick, perhaps?

"No, PP Guru - while I was packing up a few things, No Rush Geoffrey wouldn't let me borrow the key, but he came down and opened the door for me. While I was shifting some crates around, No Rush Geoffrey moved his car out and came back and lock the gate on me while I was still inside and then drove off leaving me there like some fucking caged rat!! It it wasn't for our other upstairs neighbor Ms. Myrabird to happen to stumble by - I would've been locked in there for hours!"


The PP Guru would curious to find out for himself what is wrong with No Rush Geoffrey.

But -like any other daily soap opera or Telemundo novella - you'll have to tune in next week sometime and follow the story like any other schlep.

In our next episode, learn what the PP Guru's former Deposit Man editor and proofreader Rebecca Robbins said to her daughter on a walk through Venice Beach that nearly made the PP Guru laugh so hard that he thought he was going to die of crippling diarrhea.

Plus, the PP Guru's *ahem* film star neighbor adminsters truth serum to the PP Guru.

The sandcastles of time turn so slowly for (or is that the Guiding Light beaconing?):



Monday, September 26, 2005


The PP Guru was just thinking this morning, -- yeah, yeah , he knows, he knows, that it can be a rare commodity to some people- but please just bear with the PP Guru for a second.

All that pented up frustration writing down the PP Guru's memoirs as it pertained to Yes studio album release were rife with plenty of good memories- but were outshone by lot of bad stuff too. Now the PP Guru didn't make mention of the fact that when he was younger that he used to get into a plethora of fistcuffs with other cunt hungry gurus who were always out to cockblock the PP Guru's carnal commercing with female shaman squaws - they were chapters that the PP Guru purposily left out because they just would come off as too redundant. Recently those feelings have begun to slowly and horribly manifest again - now that the PP Guru has a *ahem* film star living next door to him.

So these current feelings of dread, both past and present along with other small triumphal fleeting moments of pathos were on the verge of being awarded it's own entire blog. It was approaching the point of where the PP Guru's alter-ego Cary Coatney wanted to wax philosophcial about nothing but life in general in a seperate blog altogether but the PP Guru was forced to hover a live wolverine under Coatney's naggas so that he would have had qualms of any fatherhood magically wiped away faster than flipping the on switch to a whirpooling jacuzzi. So schizophrenic blackmail had to be the order of the day where the palms were agreed to be spitted on after drying off with a power drill handshake whereas it is decreeded that his Coatney alter-ego would share everything- EVERYTHING that's going on with his private life.

The PP Guru hasn't had a chance for Cary Coatney to sing soprano on the fact that he bought a brand new Alesis QS6.2 synthesizer a few weeks ago to keep him warm on those long, long lonely winter nights. The PP Guru's old remaining rig, the Roland 3x JP synthesizer was calling it quits on the PP Guru; the keys were breaking down, sound patches were getting lost,and it just wasn't fun to play with anymore- much like if you were to be married to the same woman for 35 years, it's time to move on. The PP Guru had become been restless, his superlative powers of perfect pitch and the ability to recreate it on a keyboard was depleting of late, so in order to rev up some kick-ass motivation- the PP Guru felt it was time to inject some new tech blood in his system. So three weeks ago, the PP Guru was jacking off to some instruments that he had been reading about in Keyboard magazine of late and decided to go down to his nearest Guitar Center to fondle with some new instruments- much in the same way he would manhandle your iguana. Perferably, he would't have minded fondling with some of the cute salegirls he saw at the front counter - but that's all another death wish altogether. A salesperson going by the name of Ladies Man (huh, the PP Guru wonders why) made the PP Guru a good offer on his Alesis synthesizer, and also threw in a a group of foot pedals and a travel bag all for 500 buckeroos and some change. The PP Guru liked most of the factory preset songs on that particular board and immediately called his former roommate and assistant Becky to pick him up with his new slew of wires and circuitry. The board has real some beautiful expressive piano patches for its' price and that was what really sealed the deal.

One of the goals that the PP Guru has been aspiring to is the idea of writing and playing some song pieces based on Cary Coatney's comic book, the Deposit Man and take it out on the road with him to conventions and shows and maybe set up a tip jar at his small press table so that he can make his money back at the table by serenading the patrons. But where would influence stem from that would make the PP Guru take a magical digital piano out on the road with him and set it up to play maybe some ... lounge prog perhaps?

Now PP Guru, what the fuck is lounge prog?

Well maybe the best example to show you is by talking about these guys from Sweden:

The PP Guru has been going nuts over this album, Man Made Machine by Carptree just released a few weeks ago. The music is progressive rock stripped down to its' bare essentials - to mostly nothing but a lead vocalist ,Niclas Flinck singing some heady lyrics about spacemen and automatons and greek gods slugging it out with big giant clubs on a beach as it builds to a crescendo of cascading chorus of overdubbed female voices as keyboardist Carl Westholm weighs in with a simple accompaniment of various grand pianos with tiny smatterings of wobbly synth patches and mellotron added in. Some guitar & drums are added, but it's not prominent in every song and it's all wraped up in some brilliant surrealistic engineering and production. The PP Guru has been busy with his new keyboard in trying to ear train himself to the rainy staccato piano stabbing opening of Titans Clash Aggressively to Keep An Even Score to other rockier swirly titles such as In the Centre of an Empty Space, Tilting the Scales, and the Elton John/Captain Fantastic epic blockbuster inspired finale This is Home, only not with so much over the top pomposity. This is the duo's first effort for Insideout Music - but it's techincally their third album. The PP Guru will aggressively seek the first two, the self titled debut and their sophmore effort, Superhero at a later date.

The PP Guru knows he can do this kind of stuff in his sleep with one hand wrapped around his pelvis ! He knows he can. So the PP Guru went to Sparky's place and borrowed some books of Michael Moorcock and Robert Anton Wilson to inspire him in writing some of his own do- it- yourself lounge prog .

Anyway, the PP Guru wants to explain why he's titled this article Peyote Place-

Well, you see, it's like this: the current PP Guru living situation is ludicriously starting to become topsy turvy pathetic in his feeble attempts to win the affections of a * ahem* film star who has in moved next door - and he really means directly next door to the PP Guru. His bedroom and her bedroom are exactly aligned to the same floor plan so that if she even pounds hard on the wall to signal the PP Guru to turn down the Carptree or his Keyboard amp - or if ever a emergency situation ever arised, the PP Guru will rush on hand and sketcher foot to her rescue.

Lately it seems that the PP Guru has some competition going on. The PP Guru recently discovered that his roommate , you can call me Ray - but don't call me the late for dinner Ray Charles has mysteriously slipped the *ahem* film star neighbor his phone number. The PP Guru was hanging with his *ahem* film star neighbor last Saturday afternoon at his porch when she happened to reveal to him that in addition to Ray giving her his cell number, our upstairs neighbor Geoffrey who is not in a Rush gave her his number too. Now why hasn't the PP Guru given her his phone number? Because he shares it with Ray, that's why!!

Now The PP Guru has been trying to seduce or lure his *ahem* film star neighbor to him by serenading to her on his new magical carpet riding electrical vibrating piano after setting up shop on his porch or by lending her his Led Zeppelin DVD collection- it slowly seems to be catching on with her. But however, the *ahem* film star neighbor does not know that the PP Guru knows that she is a *ahem* film star neighbor . And he hasn't revealed to his competition that she is a *ahem* film star neighbor either ... a very big *ahem* film star neighbor too, in fact. Unless she's already told them- but the PP Guru doubts that she has, otherwise everyone would be bragging about it!!

However, the PP Guru couldn't help but think that maybe she was attracted to upstairs neighbor Geoffrey, who is not in too much of a Rush, maybe because that's he acts so big and cool and suave, and not to mention is black and probably swings a very big dick. Now the PP Guru knows he can't really compete with giant black dicks and ought to just write his concession speech right there and then, because one Saturday before last- he thought , while under the influence of consuming an entire whole bottle of yellowtail merlot (damn Aussie wines really pack quite a wallop if consumed all in one night), that he saw Geoffrey, who is not in too much of Rush scamper down to her apartment at 1 AM with a six pack of something in tow.

Now why would my *ahem* film star neighbor allow Geoffrey - who is not in too much of a Rush to come courting to her apartment at 1 AM in the fucking bleeding morning??

Because Big 1010 black cock wins - that's why. But the true answer is not what the PP Guru thinks as he was about to discover after a conversation with his upstairs neighbor with Geoffrey - who is not in too much of a Rush - revealed to him about that late night visit.

To be continued next Monday along with the PP Guru's day at Venice beach with Becky and Olivia which was quite a memorable event in itself.

When seven inches is not good enough to the:


What Sparky turned up when he got over laughing at two male apartment dwellers fighting for a tarnished prize:

Prog Rock Discography: “... Carptree is a 2-piece band consisting of Niclas Flinck (lead vocals) and Carl Westholm (keyboards) and also responsible for arrangements and production. They play their own kind of prog/pop music with a very personal and honest touch. Their music can to some extent be compared to some of Peter Gabriel's works or perhaps Marillion's later albums but this is only a way to try to give you a picture of how they sound.

Carptree’s 2001 self-titled first CD leans a bit more toward progressive-pop than "Superhero" but the potential that is fully realized on "Superhero" is very evident. This is highly enjoyable symph-pop with high emotional impact, superb melodic songwriting and interesting, tasteful arrangements supporting the unique voice of Flinck. The mix of these ingredients make this a fantastic album! A very strong release, maybe even a future classic. So start with "Superhero" and you’ll probably come back for their 1st CD as well. ...”

Taa - Coat looked like a deranged Man o' Mystery Sunday - Sparky


Lusty babes, strategic militant war plans gone terribly awry, an exodus in a struggle for survival, suicide bombing androids gone amuck, robots who can morph into lusty babes by sheer will power, lusty babes who can pilot starships into the heat of a dogfight and blow up enemy strongholds with a flick of a wrist, and then can submit themselves for a good old fashioned game of grabass are just a few of the many elements that make the Sci-Fi channel's engrossing revision of Battlestar Galactica one of the most endearing series in science fiction television history.

After the PP Guru recieved some VHS emmy consideration screeners from one of his co-workers - he knew that he would have to cave in and splurge for the entire first season collection that was released on DVD last week and he hasn't regretted it since. The DVD set (list price: $59.95 but most likely you'll be able to find it cheaper at most Best Buy and Fry's Electronics) not only has the thirteen episode first season but also includes the four hour prequel mini-series that set the tone for the series. Nearly every episode has a commentary track by head director Michael Rymer and executive producers David Eick and Ronald Moore (of Star Trek series fame - pick from any that followed Next Generation. And the PP Guru would like to point out that Ronald's former partner on Star Trek, Brannon Braga does equally fine work on the new CBS series, Threshold, too. And he's not saying that because he's big Carla Gugino fan either), behind the scenes documentaries, and nearly an hour of deleted scenes. So the PP Guru recommends this set just for the sheer endless hours of ENTERTAINMENT value it gives for your buck.

At first the PP Guru merely scoffed at the idea that Battlestar Galactica was getting the reboot. He watched episodes here and there of the old series - he couldn't follow it in its' entirety because his douche bag stepfather, the ego-mananical and abominable - in sorely need of a REALITY CHECK ROGER would not allow him to watch it because it used to be on Sunday nights and that was the night when he would stay home when he wasn't out helping to drink all the profits up at the watering holes that he used to work at. What the PP Guru could recall was that it was a poorly executed rehash of the Star War movies at the time- but with a ingenious premise: the last remnants of a surviving colony on the run from a subjugating species are on a quest for the lost planet or star called Earth and are racing to beat the clock before these mechanical non-entities come and vaporize their asses. What little the PP Guru remembers of the series is that he got bored pretty quick in the middle of it when he realized that they were using the same stock footage of starship dogfights that seemed to meander on into every episode that he couldn't differentiate one from the next. The stories and plots just never seemed to gell or move forward. Surprisingly enough the PP Guru was shocked to hear that this show was his younger brother's all-time favorite television show (remember, we did not grow up together).

You don't want this version - this is the special
Best Buy edition of the series that was first distributed
in the U.K. Does not include the four hour
introductory mini-series!!

"Are you kidding me, PP Guru Jr.? What about all those Doctor Who episodes your older brother, the PP Guru taped for you or the Doc Savage books he passed on to you? Have you guru, lost all sense of decendency?

Regardless of all the deterrents the PP Guru offered his little brother, the PP Guru Jr., Battlestar Galactica remains his favorite show. (Jonathan Harris told Sparky he got paid best by this show)

The PP Guru can't fathom why. It surely couldn't have been Lorne Greene in the role of Cmdr Adama- man, what a stingy old fart he was. Dirk Benedict surely achieved bigger fame and probably recieved better blow jobs while he was Faceman on the A-Team rather than his rogue gung ho happy role of Starbuck. Richard Hatch still walks up to people to this very day and introduces himself as Captain Apollo to everyone and was probably the first one to pester people into getting a revival up and running- jeez, the guy still writes cheap dime novels based on his character and signs them as such- they had to give him a role on the new series...or least work out some profit sharing just to stop his goddamn whining. Jane Seymour's ass was nice to look at ... BACK THEN before she had to don her pioneer battletogs for that Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman show. Talk about celibracy gone amok. Ed Begley Jr and Rick Springfield had small supporting roles on the series as well and how can one forget former British Intelligence Agent, John Steed aka Patrick MacNee dastardly turn as the voice of a Cylon Imperious Leader?

< style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; font-family: lucida grande;">Yuck.
Herb Jefferson, Jr. who took a turn for the worse as Boomer is regaled to nothing but showing up at Los Angeles comic book conventions trying to sell his autographed pictures to people that don't give him the time of day.

Now in the revamp version - practically all of the hot shot pilots in the show have been replaced by women and it no longer has have any trace of that little dipshit kid who was doing these unspeakable acts of beastality to that pet robot canine of his. Grace Park has now had a sex change operation and calls herself Boomer as well as Katee Sackhoff assuming the role of Starbuck. The premise of the series is nearly the same, with the exception that everything is commandeered by a woman president played by Mary McDonnell (who looks positively fetching for a 52 year old) who is not only seeking escape from the impeding threat of total annihilation by the Cylons but has to lead in the search of precious life sustaining sustences such as water as evident of the spearing of the fleet's water carrying vessel during a space battle with the Cylons in the episode "Water" . The Adama role is now portrayed magnificently by Edward James Olmos - who hasn't been this hard- assed since his days on Miami Vice. Watch the episode in which Adama faces a military investigation and tribunal following a ill fated attempt to stop a sucide bomber in 'Litmus' and see if you're not left with your jaw hanging, which in the PP Guru's humble opinion should have landed him a well deserved emmy nomination.

Like the PP Guru says- it's one of the most riveting series on televison right this very moment, it's topics such as ecological disasters, taboo infidelity amongst the sexes in ranks, beating the freaking holy Allah shit out of Iraqi priso- er, the PP Guru means Cylon prisoners, and political smear shenanigans puts this on even par with such shows as 24 or the West Wing. The PP Guru highly recommends that you get on with the program mister.

And goddamn, if that chick who plays that evil bitch cylon isn't on the PP Guru's must do immediately list. That is one hell of a lubricated ten kleenex- in- fist woman. Giddy up space cowboy and shoot your stargram out to: