The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Friday, May 27, 2005


Winona Ryder (born Winona Laura Horowitz) is an American actress born on October 29, 1971 in Winona, Minnesota to Michael and Cindy Horowitz. Cindy Horowitz (nee 'Palmer') was a WASB (White Anglo-Saxon Buddhist) while Michael Horowitz was of Russian and Romanian Jewish descent. His family's original name had been 'Tomchin' but they had been wrongly assigned the name 'Horowitz' by U.S. immigration officials at Ellis Island. Winona Ryder was named after the town in Minnesota where she was born. Notable family friends included her godfather Timothy Leary and Beat poet Allen Ginsberg. (Complete in Link)

Career and adult life

In 1985 she sent a video audition to appear in the film Desert Bloom, but was rejected. However, David Seltzer, a writer and director, soon noticed her and cast her for his 1986 film Lucas for a role of an teenage outcast, falling in love, but ignored, by the main character. When asked how she wanted her name to appear in the credits, she suggested Ryder as a Mitch Ryder album of her father's played in the background. Her next movie was Square Dance (1987) (called "a remarkable debut" by The Los Angeles Times), where her teenage character creates a bridge between two alien worlds/plot devices - a traditional farm in the middle of nowhere and a Big City. Her role concentrates on a profound question: how much of our behaviour perceived by the outside world is inherent to us and how much comes from acting the social role under pressure of the society, in a way that society considers "proper" and ethical implications coming from this classical conflict of interest, which she later had a chance to make perfect in The Age of Innocence. Her breakthrough film is generally considered to be Tim Burton's 1988 film Beetlejuice, in which she played a goth teenager named Lydia suffering from depression induced by extreme consumeric worldview her parents represent, who comes to live in a haunted house (the haunting performed by Geena Davis, Alec Baldwin and Michael Keaton). She is the only human being among the players able to feel strong empathy and sympathy toward the ghosts and their drama of being captured in between the world of the living and the afterworld. The movie was a commercial and media success. She went on to play a primary role in another Burton project, the 1990 film Edward Scissorhands, alongside her then-boyfriend Johnny Depp. It is the only movie of her career in which one can admire her blond hair - her natural color, which she has dyed dark since childhood).

Which leads us to:

Asian Fetish

"Asian fetish" is a slang term used in the United States to describe the situation where a non-Asian, typically but not necessarily a white man, is attracted primarily to Asians, particularly East Asians such as Japanese, Chinese, Koreans, etc. This phenomenon has sometimes also been jokingly called "yellow fever" or "malaria."

The slang term has come about because of the large and growing number of White male/ Asian female couples in the United States; according to U.S. Census data there are more marriages between White men and Asian women than the reverse. Visitors to college campuses also often note the large number of WM/AF couples.

An "Asian fetish" is generally not a fetish by the Freudian definition of the word, i.e. a situation where the object of affection is an inanimate object or a specific part of a person. However, some, especially Asian Americans, allege that individuals are sexually interested in Asians because of qualities they believe to be true amongst the Asian population, such as innocence/virginity, submissive behavior, or promiscuity (although generally not all three at the same time). Some make a distinction between those who are attracted to Asians for these behavioral or other, more fetishistic qualities, and individuals who find Asians physically beautiful and/or culturally interesting. Many people who are attracted to Asians for cultural factors are already attracted, in a non-sexual sense, to some aspect of Asian culture or pop culture.

Many Asians, and a number of non-Asians, consider this allegedly excessive fetishization of Asians based on the perceived qualities of submissiveness, obedience, etc., to be a form of objectification, and in some instances allege it is a kind of racism.

At the same time, many Japanese men find big-breasted white (especially Slavic) women sexually attractive and ethnic pornography featuring women from Russia, Romania and other Eastern European countries is noticeably popular.

(complete in link)

Another Nikki Chao pose above ...

Treat this as a found object for Friday as the PP GURU is checking up on his pop. o&o - Sparky

Thursday, May 26, 2005


And so the Batcountdown begins!!

This week's edition of the Los Angeles City beat features not one, but two articles on one of this world's favorite icons in lieu of the new movie.

Andy Klein profiles Batman Begins director, Christopher Nolan in ABOUT A BAT.

With another one on how the Batman doesn't belong in your kid's happy meal by Steve Appleford in THE DARK SIDE:

The PP Guru will be seeing the flim a week before the rest of you schmoes on June 8th or the 9th due to a massive employee stampede screening.

as told to:

~ Coat


Tomorrow, the PP Guru will be off for the next five days, as he will be boarding on a early morning Southwest Airlines (safest fleet in the aviation business) flight to Las Vegas. This little extended weekend jaunt the PP Guru is undertaking is strictly looking on into family affairs - the PP Guru's real life biological father, aka the Purple Papa Guru has been having some atrophic trouble with his plumbing of late and has had to go into the ER for a little liquid drano removal - so the PP Guru is going to help out with any laborous tasks that the Purple Papa Guru can't perform physically.

Of course, that doesn't mean that all the pretty leggy showgirls aren't immune from the PP Guru powerful firm and scrutinous ass grabbing attacks.

However, The PP Guru is reluctant to leave, as the PP Guru will be missing a worthwhile event taking place at the UCLA campus while the PP Guru is busy being incapacitated groping slinkly nylon garbed buttocks - er, I mean, helping out with the PPapa Guru's medical and various arduous needs.

From what the PP Guru has read or about EnigmaCon 2005 has been all good- most notably that all the proceeds from the price of admission, under the auspices of the World Trust and Hollywood Artist Alliance is going to be donated for tsunami relief in Indonesia, India, Sumatra, and Sri Lanka ( hey, someone's got to pitch in and drain the bathwater out of Arthur C. Clarke's basement). According to the home web page, the organzation was originally founded by a former UCLA graduate student in astrophysics, Robert Hurt, now fondly referred to as Doctor Hurt and so realizing there wasn't too many swinging physics cats around to party with, he expanded the club to those of like mind including a few Sci-Fi and Fantasy afficionadoes and has been going strong for twenty years.

Regardless, this is the first that the PP Guru has ever heard of the club.

However, that doesn't excuse him from a impressive array of guests who will be attending. Here is a sample of the roster: Berni Wrightson, Brad Dourif, Teen Titans director ' Ciro Nieli, Enterprise's Connor Trinneer, Babylon 5 creator and current Amazing Spider-Man scribe J. Michael Straczynski ( which reminds the PP Guru; he needs to Sparky to reprint my Greenteabagging the Gobin column which rags on the offspring of Gwen Stacy that Joe concocted. It's one of his favorites. Besides, it's summer hiatus time and reruns are supposed to be in order.) , Len Wein and Marv Wolfman (like those cats are everywhere in LA ), new Battlestar Galactica producer Ronald D. Moore, Walter Koenig, Elfquest's Wendy Pini (who will be doing caricatures of attendees for a modest fee of $40.00 for Tsunami relief.

The event that is really kicking soprano underneath the tunic of the PP Guru's well concealed nutsac for missing is:

Harlan Ellison Birthday Celebration
1:00, Ackerman Grand Ballroom Celebrate another great year of Harlan!

fair use

and: A Black and White World? The Early Days of Genre Television

3:00, Math Science 4000 AEarly sci-fi television tackled many important social issues and taboos. By dealing with issues of race, technology, and jingoism, did shows like The Outer Limits and The Twilight Zone help spark the American cultural revolution of the 60’s and 70’s.David Gerrold, George Clayton Johnson, Marc Scott Zicree


Telling the Story 2:00 (90 minutes), Moore 100

Storytellers from different media and genres come together for a discussion. What are the hurdles writers must overcome in 2005 to keep speculative fiction viable and engaging?Harlan Ellison, Chris Metzen, Ronald D. Moore, J. Michael Straczynski, Len Wein

So there's just a smattering of the PP Guru will be sacrificing for, sake of family and cocktail waitress cheek palming.

The PP Guru is curious as to why the city of Los Angeles constantly kowtows to Las Vegas advertising. Billboards, giant circular sections in all the Los Angeles newspaper, including the alternative ones like LA Weekly and Valleybeat, TV commercials- it's like the whole city breathes Las Vaginas - oops, I mean Las Vegas. BUT yet- when you get to Las Vegas - nowhere is there any advertising for the city of Los Angeles , Universal City or even Disneyland?

The PP Guru would appreciate any theory that his reading audience has to share.

In between any required duties that the PP Guru has to perform, he will be working on some drafts for this blog's first worldwide sweepstakes. Also the PP Guru will be making pitstops in the LV area at the local area comic book shops to peddle his alter ego's (pssst - that's Cary Coatney, for those not on the intel) Deposit Man series - specifically - Alternative Reality Comics out on the Maryland Parkway.

Sparky will be taking over the com while the PP Guru is away.

As told to:

~ Coat

Wednesday, May 25, 2005


Paris Hilton Touts Spicy Burger in TV Ad

Though the “Home of the Holocaust Deniers” World Net Daily calls it pornograhic:

Fresh off its campaign using an unborn baby threatening his mother if she
continues to eat spicy food, fast-food company Carl's Jr. will go ahead
this week with its Paris Hilton commercial, which has been labeled "porno-
graphic" by one industry source.

The ad features the star of Fox-TV's "The Simple Life" and heiress to the
Hilton Hotel fortune clad in a thong bikini as she washes a Bentley automobile.

"It couldn't be more pornographic," an industry source told Brandweek magazine.
"It's about as racy as I've seen."

I say judge for yourself as it looks like a good clean fun healthy image being protrayed : "I Love Paris in the Springtime"

Get downloads and more commercial stuff here:Spicy Paris

Knock yourself out fellas.

- o&o Sparky

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

DIE HARD 5/24/05

The PP Guru is giddy as one's of the Joker's laughing fish today- no sooner than the PP Guru got all the way through with the Batman: The Animated Series Volume 2 DVD collection, my colleagues at WHV go around and release another crop of 28 golden episodes in the Batman: The Animated Series Volume 3 DVD collection.

These are the last of the first run episodes before FOX Kids decided to retitle the show to the Adventures of Batman & Robin and only ran them on Saturday mornings - a network manuever that evidently led to the show's demise- but in this volume of the last of the daily syndicated episodes - we see that the producers at WB Animation really upped the ante on this set with a brevy of new cast additions, most notably the introduction of Ra's Al Ghul, who has a key role in this summer's Batman Begins extravaganza. Other villains and characters of interest would be the first appearances of Bane and Scarface & the Ventriloquist, Baby Doll, and Lock-Up - the latter two created by Paul Dini - who has probably penned more episodes than anyone else on the show. Batgirl is first introduced, along with another DC guest star western legend, Jonah Hex and not many people know this- but this was the last official voice over performance of Elizabeth Montgomery before she sadly passed away in 1994 on the episode, 'Showdown' which guest starred Hex. Could've been a precursor to HBO's Deadwood by the looks of it.

Although skimpy on the extras, three commentaries; two audio and one video - plus a spotlight on Batgirl- WHV does throw in a extra episode bringing the episode count to 29 episodes. This set also marks the first time that they are animated menus rather than the still ones. The PP Guru would harbor a guess is that they are trying to make things real spiffy looking for by the time the new movie welcomes itself at your nearest multiplex, as well any other related merchandise that carries the golden seal of Bat approval.

The four disc set retails for $44.98 - but since the PP Guru is a stud card carrying discount member of the Central Perk club down on the studio lot- he purchases his for only a measely $ 22.00 and some pocket change.

So, nyah, nyah, nyah.

Another DVD set of high prestige karmic worthiness - well at least on a cult status POV is the companion volume to the Challenge of the Superfriends - the Superfriends Season 2 set which sees another 16 episodes with the likes of lessly toned down animated versions of Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Superman, Batman & Robin joined with those stiff board shape-the changing Wonder Twins, who, besides getting in some hot sibling cartoon hanky panky, help battle alongside our Justice League Light against mighty hordes of robot cowboys, green silly putty, and,....Dracula.

The extras inclues a music video set to the shaking booty wiggling super heroic exploits of Jayna and Zan and a Pajama-Rama Superfriends retrospective with special fat ass guest star Kevin Smith. And if you are fortunate enough to get through this entire set without any guilt, you should maybe pass it on to your grandkids. That ought to make you the grand poompa at all the sleepovers.

The two disc (and one double sided - the PP Guru might add) set retails for $27.00. Of course, with the PP Guru's discount - his only comes out to a paltry $ 13.00 and whatever change he has left over from his milk money.

As told to:

~ Coat

Monday, May 23, 2005


Tripe acting. Tripe wooden performances. Tripe running time. Tripe bunch of schmucks posing as a audience. That doesn't even begin to sum up what a slightly tripe weekend the PP Guru has spent this entire last weekend being lured in by all the hype.

Yes, the PP Guru spent all last weekend getting involved with all the brouhaha that was associated with the latest brain dead masterpiece that is shilling itself as Star Wars these days concocted by that brain dead master of box office hocus pocus, George Lucas.

Yes, the PP Guru was a trifle excited about the concluding chapter in the prequel trilogy like any other flesh & blood carbon dioxide breathing lifeform, but squandered his enthusiam, savored it as you will by the Jedi mind trick of patience and biding one's time; for the PP Guru had to stay his distance and bone up on his research- which consisted of DVD recap viewings of the first movie, The Phantom Menace and the second, Attack of the Clones- that way, the PP Guru's mind would feel invigorated and in sync to tackle on the new challenges of ... well, let's say ... General Greivious for example:

So, once the PP Guru got that out of the way on a humid Saturday afternoon, he went a two hour break to get up and stretch his tunics, make a sojourn to the local comic book shop, Earth 2, woof down a taco salad at Carl's Jr., and buy some California lotto tickets. The PP Guru was going to make a short day of Saturday and try to go to bed early so he could get up early to catch the 8:40 AM showing at that hacienda palaces of a movie theaters in Westwood known as the Fox Theater. The PP Guru has seen the entire prequel trilogy there in massive thunderous THX sound and digital quality projection- so why shouldn't this final chapter be deprived of the same quality performance (pity the poor fools who waited months for it to play at the Chinese - and wound up having to be diverted to the Arclight.)? So while the PP Guru was trying to cram his regular scheduled DVD episodes of Miami Vice and Starsky & Hutch, along with some cheeseball early seventies sci fi flick- the PP Guru just realized something very important:

How can the PP Guru go to see Revenge of the Sith without watching the Clone Wars animated series?

The PP Guru has had the DVD lying around for months but hasn't had a chance to watch it all in its' entirety - plus he had set his timer to record the entire new season that had aired on the Cartoon Network a few months back.

The PP Guru hates it when he procrastinates on matters such as this.

So the PP Guru winded staying up until 2 AM watching cartoons with storylines that are supposed to be detrimental to the storylines that are covered in the movie.

As exhaustation would have it, the PP Guru didn't get up in time to make his appointment and had to wait until the 12 noon showing last Sunday- where he had to share aisle space with the last of the rowdy weekend hecklers who wouldn't shut the fuck up while the movie was running .

The PP Guru supposes that is a good thing he made time to recaliber his entertainment system to play the freaking cartoons the night before.

And he was glad he did - because when the movie opens up - it takes place directly after the events that have occured in the animated series. In the animated series you get to learn how Palapitine was kidnapped and how Anakin made the ranking of Jedi Knight- So he was able to hurdle through the first hour of the movie with a clear conscience.

But the PP Guru can only tell you that it only deteriorates from there on least until Obi Wan gets to kick the living tin shit out of General Greivious. From that point things being to spiral out of anti-climatic control.

And the PP Guru has to say - it's falls like the Republic onto Lucas' lap. He begins to show short spurts of creative steam, but unlike a marathon runner, he can't muster the distance to see it through the end. As soon as Anakin does a about face in his turn to the dark side (without nary a hint of resistence at all)- Lucas has going through a obstacle path that is not too firmly laid out - that it sputters within meters of the finish line. The PP Guru doesn't want to lay the blame on Hayden Christansen this time, because it does show that he's improving in his range as a actor- it just that Lucas has him leashed on retainer just as a dipsomaniac flocks to the last drops of what remains in a deserted bottle of ripple left over on the park bench on the night before.

The turn to the dark side is just too drunk with power without a hint of rationalty, if you ask the PP Guru. Slaughtering a room full of Jedi juniors? Now Lucas, that just takes the proverbial lightsaber hemmoroidal depository.

Cut to the insatiable climactical lightsaber duel battle between Obi Wan and Anakin, as they dazzle our very eyes with somersults and jumping jack splits over CGI background areas of lava flotsam and jetsam until the end result has Obi Wan slicing through Anakin's legs from under him and has him flop around like a flounder which sadly reminded me of the Black Knight's demise in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And then to add insult to boiling flesh injury, Anakin slides into the lava AND STILL SURVIVES before being rescued and whisked away by the evil Emperor Palaptine (who barely walks away from a one on one with Yoda) to be remolded as Darth Vader. Then Anakin and his secret betrothed Senator Padme Amadalia share one last psyche link - to herald the birth of the twins, Leia and Luke before Padme shifts off into standard operating room oblivion and they are taken off to live in seperate houses on seperate forever be obscured by the dawn of the evil empire

Now the above wrap up sounds all nice and dandy of what we've always were led to believe by how the mythos was supposed be recited- but Lucas's direction of the lack of empathy from his actors leaves these final scenes with very little to be desired. He can better emote a performance out of a CGI Yoda than a real life person- He is so consumed with the modern technology that he, in retrospect has become a programmed entity in himself.

And there even are more junky subplots that keeps Lucas's bionic fist shaking into a freshy cemented corner:

(A) Why did Yoda even have to bring up Qui -Gon Jinn' ability to astral project to Obi-Wan? That could lend itself as a potential continuity flaws to Episode 4. There is no mention AT ALL of Qui-Gon Jinn in A New Hope.

(B) And why not the rest of the Jedi that were slaughtered in this film? Why can't they astral project to their padawans their ways of the Force like Obi-Wan or Yoda can? Where did Mace Windu's spirit actually go when The Emperor tossed him out that Chancellor office window?

(C) It would have helped to make the movie at least 3 hours in length. If Lucas is go on record and say this movie is going to have a Titantic epic crossover appeal - dude, mammoth length is the chic ticket here, especially if you're going to end the series out on a bang. You should had scenes of Darth Vader pondering or sensing that his children are alive out there somewhere in a galaxy far far away and a temptation to resist going after them.

(D) C'mon, Yoda, after nearly kicking the emperor Palaptine's skinny white bubbly ass, announces to everyone that he has to go into exile? Another Lucas senior writing moment, perhaps? Yoda doesn't run from fights!!

The PP Guru could go on and on. But the PP Guru will stop for now and give Lucas' final optical opus one moistened thumb in the air to check where the wind blows and the other thumb to clean out the sludge from out his rectoral cavitity.

As told to:

~ Coat