GURU: SEE THEM ALL HIGH ON PP GURU JUDAR RHYTHM!!!



We've nearly come to the end of our little jaunt through memory lane. In this penultimate chapter of the origins of the PP Guru and how mysterous events in his life always seem to coincide around the releases of Yes studio album, we examine the year of 1999 when our five minstrels of modern age mantras suddenly expanded to six for the release of The Ladder on November 5th of that year.


Aerosmith producer Bruce Fairbairn, ), Tim Collins (Aerosmith
Former Manager) & JDK at Little Mountain Sound - Vancouver,
BC - 1989 - citing fair use Image © www.johnkalodner.com/MiscImages80s.html

A change of scenery and a attempt to enlist a new mentor's help in producing their next record lead the band to shack up somewhere remotely in the outskirts of Vancouver, B.C. The band hadn't had a outside producer or given one sole credit until a legendary producer of such million dollar selling acts such as Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, and Kiss, Bruce Fairbairn challenged the band to sit down and make 'the best YES album you can and the rest will follow'.

So the band tried their best and they nearly succeeded. For the PP Guru considers this effort his third all time favorite behind Relayer and Drama. The first nearly ten minute track of 'Homeworld' originally written as music for a science fiction video game from Sierra Studios is Yes at it's most daring, as they attempted to augment their popular progressive stable with the sounds of rare exotic instrumets and fantastic keyboard instrumentation provided by new Russian born recruit Igor Khoroshev who could nearly rival Wakeman in a flash glide of five digit dexterity. A hint of South American culture permeates a trilogy of songs strung together on Lightning Strikes, (a song edited down for radio), Can I? ,(Maestro Jon A reprises Fragile's We Have Heaven as if performed by Aborigines ) and Face To Face. There was a much better sernade written for Jon's new wife Jane on If Only You Knew and Chris Squire's reggae pumping bass is captivated once more on "The Messenger " which is an ode to all things great and small - as it pertains to the world of Bob Marley. Another great 10 minute epic, New Language features good honest Jon Anderson spacey lyrics accompanied by fantastic Squire/Sherwood backing vocals before it ends with a cherished Steve Howe strumming celebration of all life in Nine Voices that could listened beside Your Move/I've Seen All Good People on the Yes Album. The album even debuted a new cover and a rarely used logo as designed by Roger Dean.
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Jon Anderson channeling the spirit of Greta Garbo

Bruce Fairbairn really pushed the band to limits that they never thought possible and their effort really shine through on the final mix, but fate came and intervened near the completion of the album to take Bruce's life away due to cancer at the age of 49. The Canadian Music Industry posthumously awarded Bruce a Juno Award for lifetime achievement in the year 2000.

Anderson and Co soldiered on and stood firm behind their new album's material and were confident enough to play nearly every track of it live on their new tour. Most of the venues played this time around were the House of Blues club franchises- with stops in major metropolis like Kansas City, New Orleans, three nights in Los Angeles, and Las Vegas - which was captured live on CD and VHS as 'The House of Yes'.

Shortly after the release of that video in 2000, Billy Sherwood resigned from the band - but still maintains a healthy working relationship with Chris Squire as evident by the release of 2003's Conspiracy - The Unknown, which is Chris's finest solo work since the release of his Fish Out of Water nearly thirty years ago. Billy Sherwood also works with Geoff Downes in writing material for Asia albums.

The PP Guru was really impressed with Igor's work on the Ladder album and was a equal sight to behold on stage as well. The PP Guru thought it was really nifty to see him beat the fucking shit out of a cowbell with one hand while he would perform Wakeman's appreggiated organ swirls with the other on the rousting encore of Roundabout. Igor did four world tours with the bands two behind Open Your Eyes, this album, and the Masterworks tour in 2002 before calling it quits. Although rumor has it, that Igor got in a little bit of hot water after a show in Virginia when he played a game of grabass with a undercover woman police officer who was assigned as a body guard at the venue.


When we last left the PP Guru in his cliffhanging memoirs, The PP Guru was making great strides in practically smacking a Cary Coatney Clubhouse together. The PP Guru had gotten good word of mouth for the monumental job he did in supervising the small press department of the San Diego Comic Con International. He expected to repeat the performance for next year - but the committee voted not to have the PP Guru back due to circumstances surrounding the budget. As he noted in his last chapter, the PP Guru was really living the high life on the Convention's dime. He arranged to have sixteen Domino pizzas charged to his room that the Convention was footing the bill for and had a party for the vendors in his department without their approval. He took Amtrak train rides down to meetings and gave the vouchers to the treasurer to sign off on. He charged phone calls he made from his house in Sherman Oaks to the Convention office- he did a lot of crazy shit to make it look like that this is was a salary position rather than a volunteer effort (the PP Guru does remember that they have a application of his on file). The most devastating blow came when the PP Guru had written publicity for the Con to a special Comic Buyer's Guide issue dedicated to the con and announced with approval that the convention would be giving away a free 24 page pamphlet that would spotlight some of the small press creators in his area. The Convention organizers, Fae Desmond and James Pascoe went rogue on the PP Guru's ass and nixed it before it could become a reality.




<>The president of the Comic Con International committee board, John Rogers was not happy about the PP Guru getting carte blanche everywhere he went and therefore suggested someone with less experience in the handling of independent creators and have it put to a vote. The PP Guru thought that it was a rash foolhardy decision- he got good write ups for his efforts in the Comics Buyer's Guide and Comics Journal- and the PP Guru wasn't going to give in without a fight - but then something unforeseen happened to make the situation worsen that put the PP Guru in a very unflattering light.

Some cunt called the convention office and said that the PP Guru was threatening her life and was going to go and press charges against him.

And that cunt was none other than Carol Ruth Hamilton (who is now some big fancy lawyer in Glendale) - ex wife of the PP Guru's high school buddy from Parsippany, N.J., Joe Zullo. Carol the Cunt still wanted to be part of the PP Guru's life in some deflated capacity, even though she remarried some boozer who beat the fucking shit out of her practically every night. The PP Guru was still stinging from all the times when she would use her cunt as a bargaining tool in making the PP Guru run errands for her a few years back - and even went as to so far have his friend in England, Matt Goodluck send her a tape the PP Guru sent him of Joe's answering machine messages of all the whores who used to call for him at our apartment in her absence. The PP Guru was getting sick and tired of being in the middle of their petty squabbles and with the constant going back and forth of getting together and breaking up. So in order to keep tabs on the PP Guru in the late nineties, she would set up the PP Guru on dates with her jewish lesbian friend Lara Allen, who didn't really want to be a lesbian anymore. The PP Guru had a fondness for Lara- she wasn't partically that great looking, but she had a sarcastic dark humorous streak in her that the PP Guru found lacking in his own life and thought she was a blast to hang around with- even though staring at her big tits were a little offsetting. The PP Guru had gone on a series of dates to some expensive eateries including one at the much lamented Marvel Mania restuarant at Universal City Studios.

However the topic of conversations with Lara always wound up on the subject of Joe - and the PP Guru had repeated told her that he had not seen Joe for a good long number of years and stop bringing up the subject. And then Carol the Cunt would call on Lara's cellphone as if it were Karl Rove giving Diet Coke Dubya pointers on how to perform cunnilingus on Laura's Bush- do you go in slowly? Does the tongue have to flicker in and out? What happens if she falls asleep? - You know, that sort of interrogation.

One night, the PP Guru snapped and told both of them to go fuck themselves and then left a very disparging message on Carol the Cunt's message machine to get over it and stop running to the PP Guru to pump information out of him over Joe. Maybe the message left on her machine went this: "THE PP GURU DOESN'T KNOW WHERE THE FUCK JOE IS! MAYBE HE JOINED SOME COCKSUCKING SCIENTOLOGY RETREAT TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOU!! THE PP GURU HOPES THAT SATAN TAKES YOU UP THE ASS" - or something similar to that effect.

So Carol the Cunt placed a phone call to the comic con's offfice proclaiming that the PP Guru was threatening her life (the PP Guru would not give Carol the Cunt his home number - however, Lara had the PP Guru's San Diego business card. )had to go down to San Diego to resolve this matter to his supervisor, Beth Holley who the PP Guru had to assure that this was nothing but the work of a prankster - but it took a hard time to convince everyone otherwise- but it fell on deaf ears and the committee took a vote on having Ned Cato take over the Small Press position without the PP Guru around to present his case. The PP Guru got mad and stormed out of the meeting - a victim of corrupt ruthless bureaucracy.

All was not lost, the PP Guru's career as a writer ballooned to the fact that he was granted a professional badge for having his first byline in the pages of Comics Buyer's Guide for reviewing the Marvel Mania date that Lara and I shared together. Editor John Jackson Miller thought it was one funniest things that he had read all year and had a check for $ 50 sent out to him.

The PP Guru recieved the check at his mother's new house in New Jersey for what would probably be the last time. For what was supposed to be a New York business trip to give Cary Coatney's original creation, The Deposit Man one last pitch to some comic book publisher ended up in unmitigated disaster and estrangment from the family on his mother's side that continues to the very day.

Be here Monday for the final chapter.

Line up for Yes - The Ladder: Jon Anderson, vocals; Steve Howe, guitars, steel, mandolin, vocals; Billy Sherwood, guitars, vocals; Chris Squire, bass, vocals; Alan White, drums, percussion, vocals; Igor Khoroshev, keyboards, vocals Produced by Bruce Fairbairn and recorded at the Armoury Studios in Vancouver, Canada from Febuary - May 1999.

Favorite lyric: Send, ascending to the secrets/All is pure and clear to resolve/Nothing can change us now/Send, ascending to the future/Nothing can ever change us now/We follow the sun/We follow the sun/We follow the sun - Homeworld - ( Anderson/Squire/Howe/White/Sherwood/Khoroshev )

As to reach the healing of each spoken word in a new language to:

~

Coat

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GURU: STRANGE NEW TV FALL SEASON STIRRINGS BELOW THE PP GURU'S BELT!!

C'mon, you all know that the hottest looking furburger in Robert Rodriguez's adaptation of Frank Miller's Sin City wasn't Jaime King, Rosario Dawson, Brittney Murphy or Alexis Bledel. Even Jessica Alba wasn't all that hyped.




When it all comes down to hands down brass knuckled honesty - hoochie koochie mama Carla Gugino took away all honors. When she first appears on the screen, as Mickey Rourke's Marv parole officer Lucille all naked in silhouette, the PP Guru nearly bursted a vein in his pulsatron pelvis and had to be escorted by paramedics after his tub of buttery sunflower oiled popcorn exploded.

The PP Guru's first exposure to Carla was when she starred in the short lived US Karen Sisco series that was loosely inspired by a Elmore Leonard novel on a tough but tender female US Federal Marshall. The ABC-TV series didn't last for very long and was cancelled just a handful of episodes were set to air. The PP Guru feels that series should be DVD deputized for prosperity.




Now Carla is given another shot at tv stardom - (not that she really needs it- she's already immortalized as the spy kid mom in the series of Robert Rodriguez's Spy Kids movies) starring as the female lead in tonight's series premiere of Threshold - a new science fiction adventure (a whole new slew of genre series are making their debuts all this and new week- including Supernatural, Invasion, Ghost Whisperer, Surface and Night Stalker) debuting on most of your CBS stations (9 PM Est/Pac 8 PM Cen) that has Gugino as a risk analyst who puts her team of eccentric genuises to make first contact with a alien race. The series also stars "Roc" Charles S. Dutton and Brent Spiner (ST:NG's Data).


The PP Guru is definitely tuning in - with a fresh bottle of Jurgen's and a full box of Kleenex's by his side. Hey. who says that network television isn't arousing. There are more beauties to plunder this new Fall TV season and the PP Guru will talk about more of them next week... Rub a dub dub magic genie potion.

Just riding aboard the hoochie koochie choo choo train on the exchange of fluid express to:

~

Coat

GURU: WAITING FOR THE PP GURU MOMENT WHEN THE PP GURU MOMENT HAS BEEN WAITING ALL THE TIME!!

Not more than two weeks after the long delayed release of Keys to Ascension Volume 2, Yes' new label, Beyond Music (a subsidiary of RCA/Victor or BMG) released 'Open Your Eyes' their first full studio album in three years in record stores. Two new albums performed by the same band with two different line-ups? Certainly, a feat unheard of. Unfortunely, the majority of Yes fans worldwide consider this the worst slapped together collection of original material ever assembled under one package. A experiment of bridging the gap between the pompous over the top seventies material with the middle of the road eighties pop sensibilties that made them household names with 90125. Recorded in Van Nuys- it seems the band was seeking some kind of a easy listening adult contemptory sound with sunny Beach Boys harmonies that collides fatally with Andrew Lloyd Webber results - and that sound could not sound more evident on what is possibly the most idiotic song that Yes has ever composed, "Man on the Moon" . The first pure blooded American to ever join the group, Las Vagas local boy, Billy Sherwood was the one who penned that song.


The history of Sherwood's involvement with the band goes back to late eighties and early nineties when Chris Squire checked out one of Billy's performance with his band World Trade. Along with the lead guitar player of that band, Bruce Gowdy- they were slated to replace Jon Anderson and Trevor Rabin just before the idea germinated in Anderson's head to form Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman, & Howe- so Chris and Billy sat down and wrote some songs together. Two of the songs only ever managed to get recorded: 'Love Conquers All' wound up as the only brand new song to appear on Yes' first box set compilation, YesYears and 'The More We Live' made it to the Union album. In the proverbial nick of time, Sherwood was rescued from assuming lead vocal duties when Anderson and Rabin decided to still be involved with Yes West- after easing his trepidation of pulling another Trevor Horn. Eventually, Billy relished on taking a more behind the scenes approach with the band, taking on versatile duties such as engineering their albums and touring as a additional utility guitar and keyboard player on the Talk tour. However, with the new label demands of recapturing that 80's pop magic, Billy was talked into become a more permanent member in filling in Trevor Rabin's shoes when the band started to record Open Your Eyes at his home studio.


The bulk of the material on Open Your Eyes seems to be borrowed from unused material that Sherwood and Squire wrote together as a offshoot band "the Chris Squire Experiment" which changed its' name to Conspiracy in 2000. The most disturbing thing that the PP Guru discovered about this album is a song titled Somehow, Someday which is a song that has turned up on two previous Jon Anderson solo albums- it was first recorded with some members of Toto on his City of Angels disc in 1987 and then redone for Jon's classical project "Change We Must" released approximately at the same time that this disc was released (incidentally, Toto keyboardist Steve Porcaro appears as a guest musician on Open Your Eyes).

The are a very few memorable tracks on this album. In fact, the PP Guru hasn't heard this digital platter for a good number of years. He was never happy with the idea of the title track (originally titled Wish I Knew) being made as a single, but he can groove to a New State of Mind, which he admits was a outstanding way to open the album. Fortune Seller has a familar 90125 Hold On vibe to it. Jon Anderson's lyric to Universal Garden teeters on the brink of New Agey insanity, but a subtle little Howe/Anderson acoustic ditty entitled From the Balcony brings Anderson back down to earth as a song that he dedicates to his second newlywed wife, Jane (who you can always spot in the first couple of rows of every show dancing away in the aisles like some Grateful Dead hippy chick coming down off of a Timothy Leary plastic flashbulb). And for those who bought the album way back on it's initial release, you can find a bonus track of nothing but a atmospheric 23 minutes of an ambient soundscape filled with chirping birds and roaring ocean waves interspersed with accapella versions of some of the vocal work done in previous tracks.

The PP Guru saw the Open Your Eyes tour when it did a brief stop at the Universal City Ampitheater in December of that year. It was a monumental show for him, because it was the first time that he had ever heard Revealing Science of God played live in its' entirety. Also the addition of Russian keyboardist, Igor Khoroshev made an impression on the PP Guru on that tour. The PP Guru also had a opportunity to attend a Tower Records signing with the band in Glendale - which was originally rerouted from its' Sherman Oaks location. The PP Guru got Jon Anderson a little peeved off at him for bringing up the passing of Carlos Castenada to his attention. Maestro Jon A was in full denial of the incident.

The Blond Avenger aka Cindy Johns w/ friend.

On the other PP Guru side of life in 1997, he was still getting more letters and articles published in Comics Buyer's Guide. His popularity certainly wasn't on the wane at that point - but neither was it increasing either. However he did irk a irritated reader response in a form of a death threat that was sent to the Rookies & Allstars address over a letter he wrote berating the studio chiefs of the Fox Kids Network over the producers of the X-Men animated series pandering their religious views on a episode that had Nightcrawler pushing Wolverine to start reading the Bible. This incident raised some concern to the store's main proprietor, John J. Lindsay who was hospitalized for the good course of a year after getting a hip replacement inquiring as to why the PP Guru was using his store's address as the PP Guru's personal publicity office. While John was on sick leave, his partner, Obi-Dan Kenobi left the PP Guru to run the store full time. And therefore he was responsible for ordering all the merchandise. And the PP Guru took the opportunity to make himself a advocate for the self publishing underdog- which mainly meant that the PP Guru was going to make this comic book store into a small press haven. A lot of the letters to CBG written that year, talked about the plight of the small press publisher peddling to get his book seen in stores. The PP Guru felt sympathy because he knew that one day- he would want to garner the same type for respect when Cary Coatney was good and ready to put out his Deposit Man project. So he went and did something daring- he invited local publishers to bring 25 copies of their titles and he try to form his own Oprah book club and have local readers comment on why their book would or wouldn't sell. John was at first ok with the idea, as the letters in Comics Buyer's Guide was bringing attention to the store (it even brought Star Trek's Chekov Walter Koenig and Adrienne Barbieu to check the store out. Adrienne came by to ask the PP Guru to help her locate a book called Rat Bastard, for research into a movie role that she was offered.), but he wasn't keen on the added expenses it took to stock these titles in the store. John wanted strictly mainstream titles in the store and the PP Guru took umbrage with this approach after the PP Guru put in a year of life cementing the store's reputation- John Lindsay and the PP Guru had a massive blow out as they were about ready to transmit the first of 1997's Diamond's order which resulted in the PP Guru angerly throwing his copies of the store's keys into the parking lot before storming out the door.


Carlos Saldana's Burrito - the li'l burro that could -as a friend of PP Guru during his campaign to get more independently created books into the mass majority of comic specialty stores

Although the PP Guru was persona non grata at the store he help founded, at the same exact time Obi-Dan Kenobi fielded a phone call from the office from Beth Holley who represented the exhibits area at San Diego Comic Con International. After reading some of the PP Guru's letters in Comics Buyer's Guide (in his mortal guise of Cary Coatney), they decided that the PP Guru would be the perfect candidate to work as their new Small Press Coordinator for the 1997 show. They said the job wouldn't pay anything - but his expenses would be covered for transportation to office meetings to help select the candidates who would be displaying their wares at the show. Also, the PP Guru got free room and board, as they set him up in a lavish suite at a hotel where he took the liberty of purchasing 16 pizzas from Domino's and charged it to con's expense account in order to throw a party for the vendors in his department. The party was a washout and the PP Guru wound up giving the pizzas away to his neighbors at the hotel. The PP Guru worked with a lot of interesting people like Mike Hersh of Krankin' Comics, Carlos Saldana of Burrito, David Spurlock of Vagabond Press and Cindy Johns with Fauve who were promoting The Blonde Avenger. The PP Guru handed all the publicity for his department, even assuming the mantle of writing all the press release junkets for Comics Buyer's Guide and Comics Journal (Cary Coatney uncredited) and it was publicized with Fae Desmond's permission, that the PP Guru would be editing a special give-away book to given out to convention patrons that would be touting his small press department. He contacted many artists to contribute a one page strip (Cary Coatney collaborated on a Burrito story with Carlos Saldana that still has not seen the light of day) to the book. As the convention drew closer, James Pascoe, Fae's assistant at the time got the project nixed due to his handling of the con's budget and assigned the blame to the press over the PP Guru's overzealousness of wanting to be a attention whore.


This would be the first in a series of blow outs that PP Guru would have with the Convention's secret clandestine committee - although the fatal blow would come from a outside source. An old nemesis would once again rear her hidious plastic surgery head into the PP Guru's life and make a ton of trouble for him.

To be continued.

Yes lineup for Open Your Eyes - Band members: Jon Anderson: vocals Steve Howe: guitars, vocals Billy Sherwood: guitars, bass, keyboards, vocals Chris Squire: bass, vocals Alan White: drums, percussion. Additional musicians: Steve Porcaro: keyboards (2) Igor "Ivan" Khoroshev: keyboards (1, 4, 5) Produced by Yes

Favorite lyric: Take hold of your chances/Defy all the odds that have been made/Making every movement count, we step toward a golden age- Fortune Seller (Anderson/Howe/Sherwood/Squire/White)

Giving in, giving out, it's all up to:

~

Coat

GURU: THE PP GURU's EYES SEES THE COMING REVOLUTION, THE PP GURU's EYES SEES THE GLORY OF THE WORLD!!

Although technically not studio albums per se, but an incredible stimulation of both live and studio tracks. After the demise of the YES WEST fraction of the group, Trevor Rabin left the band to focus his talents on composing film work, of which most notably can be heard today on almost every Jerry Bruckheimer or Michael Bay film that comes out in theaters these days. Tony 'with one hand waving in the air' Kaye practically fell off the face of the earth again and was heard wanting to sue the band for unpaid royalites. By mid-1995, an announcement was made that Curry Capeman Rick Wakeman and Big Berryface Steve Howe were coming back into the fold to record a new studio album, with a series of concerts to be shot on film at the Fremont Theatre in beautiful downtown San Luis Obispo, Ca (which is where Maestro Jon A makes his home today) to focus on reprising much of the 70's material that made them beloved the whole world wide over. The project was to be christianed the Keys to Ascension and made it's way as a concert video and a series of two albums documenting the event.

Now, it was going to be the PP Guru's policy not to bother with the live stuff, but he makes an exception due to the fact that the recording process for the new material was going rather poorily (most of it being recorded in Anderson's basement, not far from the theater of where they will perform), some tof the tracks surfaced as soon as they were completed on the final side of the live set.The two tracks were titled "Be The One" and That, That Is" and they did sound if they were stingy on coming up with good title names at the time. Considering that it was almost true to form capture of their strident Going for the One/Tormato period, there was still a hint of Yes Westism in the Humankind portion of the Be the One. The eighteen minute plus That That Is a bewildering mess that has Anderson singing lyrics about crack addicts and gang violence that just doesn't jive with his usual new age/peyote pondering fragmented sentence preambles, although it could have been a stab at Chris Squire's personal problems around the time that the Talk tour was wrapping up (Believe the PP Guru, he's seen Squire in tipsy mode when he witness first hand when Squire nearly fell out of a chair at the YesFestival in Glendale as he laughed out loud like a loon).


The PP Guru assumes that not securing a major label deal is what led Rick Wakeman to make a hasty exit shortly after recording the remainder of the tracks that didn't show up until years later on Keys to Ascension Volume 2 (1997- but it was recorded in 1996) which further juxaposed the remaining documentation of the San Luis Obispo show with the finished new tracks (both volumes were released on a prog grassroots label, Purple Pyramid Records from Marina Del Rey, CA- hmm, do you think the PP Guru should change the blog name to- ? Nah, just thinking out loud).The five new studio tracks sound as if they were better prepared, and not rushed as they did on the first volume. In particular, the most interesting of the new tracks was the 18 minute Mind Drive which was cullied from jam session tapess that Chris Squire and Alan White had thrashed out with Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin/The Firm) and was originally planned for the XYZ project (anagram for ex members of Yes & Led Zeppelin) which never materialized. Ever since this album's release, die hard fans have requested this song to be performed many times over, but Anderson had ignored their pleas until nearly nine years on, he relented and had it performed for the first time on the band's thirty-fifth anniversary tour (as well as Footprints) that is now available for your viewing pleasure on the Songs for Tsongas DVD film recently releashed by Image Entertainment. Another notable song, Children of Light was co-written by Vangelis - who finally made a contribution to Yes nearly twenty-years since he was considered to Rick Wakeman's replacement on the Relayer tour!


Sadly, the PP Guru could not take advantage of this brief reunion - because he didn't know where the fuck San Luis Obispo was at the time! And even if he had known, there was no way in getting there- not even by Greyhound bus. So the PP Guru was royally fucked on missing history being made. He does own the VHS copy of the show though - but he wasn't too pleased with the production quality or the audio for that matter. Too many long dragged out shots of the theater's architecture, if you ask him. He doesn't want to see a blueprint of the goddamn venue for chrissakes - he wants to the see the band performing - that's why he shelled out twenty bucks for the video tape!!


During the years of 1995 and 1996, the PP Guru was making further adjustments to living his current years in the San Fernando Valley as comfortable and affordable as he could. The exception being that his high school friend, Joe Zullo from Parsippany New Jersey filed for divorce from his rhinoplasty addicted legal attorney wife, Carol Ruth Hamilton which left the PP Guru in a another being without shelter bine as every one favored on moving out of the condominum that we all shared. So with Joe gone, the PP Guru was made to be Carol's bitch for the duration leading to the move out. The PP Guru had to go out and do errands for her- pick up her dry-cleaning, buy cool whip for her goddamn coffee, and heat up her dinners while she pranced around the house in her Victoria Secret's undies and spring dresses that were clearly transparent enough to know when she wasn't wearing any at all while she studyed for her bar exam. Eventually all this was coming to a head, when she realized one day that she was even freaking herself on all the titilation she let the PP Guru in on and then shortly arranged to help move the PP Guru in with some Christian friends of hers that she met in a church.



The PP Guru worked at a mortage company in Woodlands Hills in addition to be purchasing manager for Rookies & Allstars in North Hollywood- he met a co-worker by the name of Nancy Walter who introduced me to a guitar player who used to work with ex-Asia bassist/vocalist John Wetton that she was dating at the time. She used to car pool the PP Guru to work everyday, even she could tell that they was something weird going on at the PP Guru's new boarding house. She warned the PP Guru that he could be living with a bunch of cultists. The PP Guru wouldn't have known where she could have gotten her first clue. Was it the huddle of a group hug to speak in the clinking of tongues? Could it have been that when the PP Guru walked in the front door from work bellowing to everyone present in the house that Satan - I'm hoooommmee , much to the disapproving looks of everyone present? Or maybe it was when one of his roommates invited the PP Guru to attend a 'Christian Bachelor Party' one weekend. The PP Guru was almost game for that, and asked him when will the stripper be arriving? His nameless roommate told him that there were going to be no strippers. The PP Guru was certainly perplexed - how the fuck were you going to have a bachelor party without any strippers? Who the fuck is going to be jumping out of the cake - — “Jesus Christ?” That little exchange was the first salvo in the PP Guru's dismissal from the premises. The breaking point came when these scumbag evangelists in training came by and stayed over without paying any rent and started a argument with the PP Guru of why he liked to watch Batman cartoons so much. He said Batman was invented by blasphemous devils who rape God's children for profits or something along those lines. The PP Guru responded by punching this vagabond diarerra scripture sprouting gutless wonder in the face and knocking off his glasses.

In addition to Batman: The Animated Series, superhero cartoon and comic book based animation was flourishing, by adding X-Men, Fantastic Four, Iron Man, W.I.L.D.cats, Cadilliac Dinosaurs, Savage Dragon, and Disney's Gargoyles to many weekday and Saturday morning line ups.

The X-Files was the PP Guru's all-time favorite television show. The PP Guru recalls with great fondness that Gillian Anderson was one smart and sassy redhead at the time. The PP Guru refused a pass from Carol Hamilton one Friday night when she called the PP Guru and begged him to have coffee with her at Starbucks'. After the X-Files is over, he told her. She then got pissed and hung up.


Rather than have the PP Guru go through another episode of homelessness and abandonment, one of the PP Guru's bosses, Obi Dan Kenobi, at Rookies & Allstars told him that since most of the children that were living at his and his wife's (Dragon Lady) house have either moved or were going to move out, how would the PP Guru like to take up a room in the house for a while until he gets back on his feet? The PP Guru happily obliged since the house was in a upper scale neighborhood of Sherman Oaks and the place was as big as a mansion. The PP Guru loved it so much that his temporary arrangement lasted for a period of over eight years! Paying as little as $ 250.00 a month to live there (hey, they were rich anyway, it wasn't as if Obi-Dan Kenobi and The Dragon Lady really needed the money).

Once settled in, The PP Guru's writing output for the Comic Buyer's Guide increased tremendously, as the experimented ecleticness of his over fifty or so letters, essays, and articles delineated from the rest of the contributors. The PP Guru tackle such controversial issues as the Northridge Earthquake,Diamond Comics fascist monopolized takeover of the direct retailing market, and even at one time, called a San Diego television news station in defense of a muckraking expose they did on Carnal Comics' publisher, Jay Allen Sanford's booth at the San Diego Comic Con (which is still archived on the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund website) The PP Guru would be approached at conventions and had received fan letters and accolades from fans and professionals alike that it just wasn't a issue of Comic Buyer's Guide without a letter from the PP Guru nom de plume of Cary William-Shannon Coatney. However, some people believed that Cary William-Shannon Coatney were two different people. The PP Guru explained to people that the middle name of William-Shannon was a scottish title that he had inherited from his Grandfather on his mother's side. So the PP Guru had Cary William-Shannon Coatney assassinated and from the ashes arose just plain old Cary Coatney. But PP Guru is still shorter to write.


The PP Guru's fabulous contributions to Comics Buyer's Guide even made Harlan Ellison himself take a mild interest in the PP Guru's acerbic etchings. Sometime in 1995, the PP Guru got a call from Harlan Ellison himself thanking him for plugging his Dream Corridor comic book series from Dark Horse comics. It was that conversation with Harlan that inspired the PP Guru to take the Deposit Man script from out of the drawer and re tweak it a bit. Harlan told the PP Guru that he should quit his dayjob and try knocking on doors to peddle his work. "Get off your freakin' lazy ass and contribute something to society", he told the PP Guru The PP Guru will always be grateful to Unca' Harl for that little piece of peptalk.

The PP Guru wanted to do something really extravagant for the Comics Buyer's Guide- something that would certainly take it way over the top- he wanted to commandeer the entire Oh So? section in the weekly comic industry's newspaper for himself to talk about the time he spent his grandfather Shannon's inheritance on a nearly two month stay in London, England to interview comic shop owners on the state of Diamond's distributing practises in the UK.


He went out in June, with a pit stop in Parsippany to check on his mum and it was there that his constant ego maniac ineberiated stepfather, in a sorely need of a Reality Check Roger, who berated him on the whole idea got into another pointless blow out about not fetching him a beer when he asked him to-even though the PP Guru was just visiting. Nobody in Parsippany was really impressed that the PP Guru fancied himself as a globe trotting reconnoitering adventurer, and genealogist. That's right, the PP Guru was going to do some research into the origins of the Coatney name. Suffice to say, most of the chronicles that went into the making of the articles nearly drove the PP Guru mad as he was holed up in a Victoria Station hostel jotting down notes, escaped from a gas bomb attack on a London Underground station, and was nearly attacked by a shop owner's German Shepherd who refused to answer the PP Guru's questions or have him take pictures of his Camdentown store for the article.

The PP Guru is going to have drag that manuscript out of the mothballs someday for its' tenth anniversary. Hesitantly, Krause Publications passed on it. The PP Guru could also be seen in another publication called Comics Effect whereas he wrote more biographical essays based on some of his favortie comic books he read when he was a kid and how the world was affecting him at the time when he read them.

The studio tracks to Keys To Ascension Volumes I were recorded in San Luis Osbispo and the studio tracks to Volume II were recorded in The Office, Van Nuys, Ca by Billy Sherwood ( more on him in tomorrow's episode)

Favorite lyric: Bringing back the signs to no-man's land/Where diamonds and gold in hand/Will barter as the homeless burn/Someday will it be our turn? - Children of Light (Anderson/Howe/Squire/Vangelis/Wakeman)

Be sure to leave good footprints behind to: ~ Coat

PS Sparky gives you —

• Keys to Ascension (October 1996) UK #48; US #99
• Keys to Ascension 2 (November 1997) UK #62

SPARKY: ATTENTION YOU ROVE TRUTH SQUADDERS! FACE FRONT!

Go to Working For Change Now! Buy the stuff they advertise! -- Sparky thinks this Tee Shirt is "fetching" -

Tom Tomorrow:
This Modern World:
What went wrong?


See the cartoon / More Tom Tomorrow

Now Sparky wants you to see this July 20, 2005 strip from the Tom Tomorrow archives

Above stuff is copyrighted by the folks who own the copyrights, promoting them falls under fair use.
——————————————
Your TRUTH SQUAD Google News Crawl

Unconfirmed Sources (satire)

A Liberals Plea: Don't Indict Karl Rove or George W. Bush...Yet. Unconfirmed Sources (satire) - 2 hours ago ... Therefore, I am calling on restraint from the Democratic Party when addressing the treasonous issue of President Bush's Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove and his ...

Texas Fires Lawyer After Story on Rove Media Channel, NY - 22 hours ago ... was fired this week for violating press protocols when she spoke to a Washington Post reporter who was working on a story about presidential adviser Karl Rove. ... Lawyer fired over Rove quote Seattle Times Texas state lawyer fired amid questions about Karl Rove KPLC-TV Lawyer fired after quoted in story about Rove News 8 Austin KLTV - all 130 related »

George W. Bush Fires Karl Rove Over Plame Affair Unconfirmed Sources (satire) - 46 minutes ago Unconfirmed sources report that The President has fired long time aid and strategist Karl Rove. Our sources indicate that Rove was ...

Karl Rove: wonderful human being who's kind to children and ... Wizbang, DC - Sep 12, 2005 I've been reading around about Hurricane Katrina and the federal response, and I gotta tell ya -- I have newfound respect for Karl Rove. ... Progressive reader Washington Examiner all 2 related »

New York Times: Karl Rove Taking Over To Contain Storm Political ... The Moderate Voice - Sep 6, 2005 Just as some have predicted, the New York Times reports that White House political guru Karl Rove is now taking over to orchestrate White House response to ...

Hurricane Katrina: The Scandal Karl Rove And The GOP Want Us To ... Blogger News Network - Sep 8, 2005 While Karl Rove and the Republican spinners continue to point fingers down the chain of command, predictably to local Democratic officials, and make a mockery ...

Costly Price of Facing a Grand Jury Washington Post, United States - 20 hours ago ... Presidential adviser Karl Rove gave testimony to the committee investigating the leak of a CIA operative's identity. His aides have faced the grand jury. ... Democratic National Committee: Mr. Bush, Tear Down That Stone Wall ... U.S. Newswire (press release) all 3 related »

Bush Re-election Committee Assumes Control of Iraq! Unconfirmed Sources (satire) - 2 hours ago The political hand over has begun and Karl Rove has taken control. ... "This place is going to get quiet,"said Karl Rove. "We are done fooling around.". George W. Bush Will Not Return For Second Term: Latest ... Unconfirmed Sources (satire) all 2 related »

Cannon speaks at UVSC New Utah, UT - 13 hours ago ... When asked why President Bush's deputy chief of staff Karl Rove's possible role in disclosing the identity of a covert CIA agent has not received more media ...

'Wrapped in The Flag' Banned From TV, Cable and Satellite!
Unconfirmed Sources (satire) - 2 hours ago
... Karl Rove apparently hit he roof and demanded that the Head of the FCC squash the ad. Powell pressured the major networks to drop the ad under threat of fines.

SPARKY: IT'S GOOD NANCY 3, NEWS THAT SHE BROUGHT ABOUT, SAD HURRICANE KATRINA STUFF, AND THE WIKINEWS CRAWL —

All,
Last Wednesday I asked you to join me in calling for the replacement of Michael Brown as FEMA Director. Yesterday, Mike Brown resigned. Thank you for standing up with me and demanding that our government give the victims of Katrina and its aftermath the leadership they deserve.

It was the public outcry from people like us that helped President Bush finally recognize what I have been saying from the beginning - the federal response to this disaster must be managed by a capable, qualified leader. Together, we brought qualified leadership to the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast.

At times like this it is critical that we stand together for what is right.

Michael Brown has now resigned after being sent back to Washington D.C. and Admiral Thad Allen, an emergency response professional, has been put in charge of the federal management of this crisis on the ground. Admiral Allen has a difficult job ahead, but at least he brings to it years of experience - something that has been tragically lacking thus far.

With qualified, experienced, and effective leadership on the ground, we can work together to provide the victims of Hurricane Katrina with the income, food, clothing, and housing resources they desperately need to begin the long process of rebuilding their lives.

To be clear, that does not mean that the rest of the Administration has been held accountable. A thorough investigation is still absolutely necessary.

And while both parties claim to recognize this, thus far Republicans have only paid lip service to getting to the bottom of this and fixing what is wrong. While holding a press conference about their proposed "bipartisan" commission, the Republican leaders in Congress neglected to mention that:

• Democrats had not even been consulted about the proposal, and had to learn about it through the press conference.
• Their proposal would place more Republicans on the committee than Democrats.
• Democrats would not be allowed to have vital subpoena power.

Harry Reid, the Senate Democratic Leader, has joined me in rejecting this sham committee. Americans deserve an objective assessment of what went wrong during the federal government's response to Hurricane Katrina.

Now that Speaker Hastert and Leader Frist have decided to form a partisan committee, the only way to get Americans the truth about what went wrong and how to improve the federal government's response to future disasters is by creating an independent commission.

It should be modeled after the independent, bipartisan 9/11 Commission, which did a huge service to our country with its excellent report detailing the urgent task before us to make our nation safer.

The most crucial task we face will be easing the burden on those devastated by this catastrophe. You will hear much more from us soon as Democrats put forth our ideas to help them rebuild their lives and help our country get back on its feet. We've accomplished the first step together, now let's prepare to do everything we can to make sure the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast now have a much better chance to rebuild their lives.

Thank you for lending your voice.

Nancy Pelosi, Democratic Leader
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USA TodayBeleaguered FEMA director Brown resigns
Houston Chronicle, United States - 1 hour ago
... Michael Brown's resignation came after he was recalled to Washington from New Orleans on Friday amid allegations that his agency had responded slowly and ...
Embattled Brown resigns as Fema chief Financial Times
Bush names successor to Brown Scotsman
FEMA chief Brown resigns Newsday
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Katrina survivor searchers prepare for the worst

September 11, 2005

Hurricanes - 2005

Related stories

Brown Knows Disgrace

• FEMA head relieved of duties
• All major American TV networks show charity concert for Katrina victims
• FEMA head Michael Brown recalled to Washington
• Katrina survivor searchers prepare for the worst
• Aerial photos of Katrina's aftermath available
• NASA announces Shuttle delay due to Hurricane Katrina

List of hurricanes in 2005

• Hurricane Katrina
• Hurricane Dennis
• Hurricane Emily

Flooding caused by hurricane Katrina

External/Inter-wiki links

• 2005 Atlantic hurricane season
• 2005 Pacific hurricane season
• List of notable tropical cyclones
• Wikipedia's entry on Hurricanes
• Wikitionary's definition of a hurricane
• Blog from New Orleans
• NOLA hurricane wiki

Workers are scouring New Orleans for any remaining survivors of Hurricane Katrina, and are vigorously searching for dead bodies. 25,000 body bags have been prepared in advance, for the event that the death toll from Katrina is that high. Temporary warehouses are being set up around the city to deal with corpse storage.

In the last twenty-four to thirty-six hours, however, officials have revised downward, at least three times, the estimated death toll; 35,000, 10,000, and now less than 10,000. After the first sweep of the city devoted to recovery of bodies, officials retrieved approximately 800 bodies.

Floodwaters are receding, but leaving a great deal of mud and contaminated water in their wake, filled with high levels of bacteria and viruses.

All survivors are urged to leave the city. Dr. Julie Gerberding, head of the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), said "If you haven't left the city yet, you must do so," and stated that anyone who comes in contact with the nearly toxic water must immediately wash themselves with clean water. If necessary, force will be used to remove all remaining citizens from New Orleans.

While Dr. Gerberding's statement about mandatory evacuation seems clear, other officials have not been as emphatic. When asked about mandatory evacuations, New Orleans Police Superintendent Eddie Compass, while reaffirming the official word, qualified his statement stating that every reasonable means would be used to logically convince a person that it is in his best interest to evacuate. The superintendent would not comment on whether force would be used if reason failed. Furthermore, utility workers are in the process of re-establishing power to the Central Business District of the city prompting residents in those areas to reconsider the evacuation option.

Residents of Jefferson Parish, and the upper portions of Saint Bernard Parish will be allowed to permanently return to their homes starting on Monday. Conditions in those areas - re-establishment of power, clearing of roads, and abatement of water - have improved to the point of making permanent return possible. Parish President Arron Broussard and Councilor Jennifer Sneed stated that residents should be allowed to return as soon as possible so repairs and rebuilding may begin.

In other news companies are working with [w:FEMA|Federal Emergency Management Agency] to provide money and support to the victims of Katrina, in order to ease them into a new life. In addition, a contract in the amount of approximately thirty-three million dollars has been let to repair the I-10 span crossing the eastern portion of Lake Pontchartrain. Many of the bridge sections, especially on the eastern-facing span, were knocked off their pilings as hurricane Katrina passed near the city. The contractor expects one span to be repaired and opened for traffic within forty-five days.

Sources

• Sharon Cohen/Associated Press "Teams Work to Find New Orleans Survivors". Yahoo!, September 08, 2005 September 10 & 11, 2005 WAFB Baton Rouge Times Picayune
• "First wave of Minnesota-bound Katrina survivors expected Tuesday". Associated Press, September 08, 2005 (Note: Free registration required to view this article.)

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Michael Brown, Director of FEMA resigns
September 12, 2005

Michael Brown

Michael Brown, head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) has announced his resignation as Director. Brown had come under criticism for FEMA's slow reaction and handling of the devastation in New Orleans caused by Hurricane Katrina. Last week Michael Chertoff, head of the Department of Homeland Security, relieved Brown as leader of the relief efforts in New Orleans and appointed Coast Guard Admiral Thad W. Allen in his place.

Brown told the Associated Press that the focus had to be FEMA and the efforts of people in the disaster areas. Brown also said that his resignation was in the best interests of the agency and President Bush, who himself, has recieved criticism over the handling of the disaster.

Hurricane Katrina

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, many Democratic politicians called for Brown to be fired immediately, including California Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Maryland Senator Barbara Mikulski, New York Senators Hillary Clinton and Charles Schumer, Colorado Senator Ken Salazar, Michigan Rep. Carolyn Kilpatrick and Senator Debbie Stabenow, Louisiana State Rep. Peter Sullivan, Nevada Senator Harry Reid, and Illinois Senator Dick Durbin.

Republican politicians such as Senator Trent Lott have also criticized Brown's leadership of FEMA. Brown's performance has been defended, however, by Republicans such as former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, Florida Governor Jeb Bush and former Presidential speechwriter Pat Buchanan. President Bush publicly praised Brown's handling of the disaster, saying "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." [01]

On August 29, 2005, five hours after the hurricane hit land, Brown made his first request for Homeland Security rescue workers, to be deployed to the disaster area only after two days of training. ^[21] He also told fire and rescue departments outside affected areas to refrain from providing trucks or emergency workers without a direct appeal from state or local governments in order to avoid coordination problems and the accusation of overstepping federal authority.

On September 1, 2005, Brown told Paula Zahn of CNN that he was unaware that New Orleans officials had housed thousands of evacuees, who quickly ran out of food and water, in the Convention Center--even though major news outlets had been reporting on the evacuees' plight for at least a day. He also criticized those that were stuck in New Orleans as those "who chose not to evacuate, who chose not to leave the city" (disobeying a mandatory evacuation order.)

On September 2, 2005, Mayor of Chicago Richard M. Daley stated that he pledged firefighters, police officers, health department workers, and other resources on behalf of the city, but was only asked to send one tank truck.^[02]

Sources

• Associated Press "FEMA Director Michael Brown resigns". MSNBC, September 12, 2005
• Associated Press "FEMA Chief Brown Resigns". Fox News, September 12, 2005

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WikiNews Main Page News Crawl

September 13

• Volcanic bulge found in Oregon
• Blues singer D’Angelo sentenced on cocaine charge
• Oracle to acquire Siebel for USD 5.85bn
• Colleges offering admission to displaced New Orleans graduate students
• Telstra sale legislation debated in Australian House of Representatives, considered "urgent"

September 12

• Los Angeles undergoing large power outage
• England win the Ashes
• NZ opposition leader admits to fundamentalist contacts
• Hong Kong Disneyland opens to the public
• Michael Brown, Director of FEMA resigns
• EBay to acquire Skype
• US peace activist to be deported from Australia
• Bush approval rating sinks to 38%
• Koizumi wins electoral mandate for postal reform

September 11

• Katrina raised gas prices higher than ever
• Loyalist rioting erupts in Belfast
• UK Chancellor blames OPEC for oil crisis, refuses to cut fuel tax
• Chile remembers its own September 11 anniversary
• Red Cross asks for more volunteers
• Katrina survivor searchers prepare for the worst

September 10

• Australia proposes new anti-terror laws
• Swedish minister wants more free-to-air channels in the terrestrial television network
• Read Santa Clara marks tenth anniversary
• Guadalupe River Park and Gardens opens in San Jose, CA, USA
• Saudi Arabia agrees with the US on joining the WTO
• FEMA head relieved of duties
• Wendy’s finger pointers plead guilty of crime
• One week before German federal election, the race is wide-open again
• All major American TV networks show charity concert for Katrina victims
• Red Cross is not in New Orleans for Katrina, Guard raced it to Superdome
• British Gas announces a hike in energy bills of 14.2%
• Celebrities contribute to Katrina relief

September 9

• Israel completing Gaza withdrawal
• Ford, Fiat to produce small cars together
• Report: Annan failed to fix Oil for Food program
• Sydney train doors stuck, passengers delayed
• Firefox 1.5 beta released to public
• New Orleans officials confiscating guns
• Malawi food appeal unanswered by world community
• FEMA head Michael Brown recalled to Washington
• US ABC network to offer more shows dubbed in Spanish
• How the Army Corps of Engineers closed one New Orleans breach
• News Corp acquires IGN for US$650 million
• GNOME Project unveils latest version of Linux and Unix desktop
• EBay may acquire VoIP firm Skype
• NASA announces Shuttle delay due to Hurricane Katrina

September 8

• Ukrainian president Yushchenko dismisses PM, cabinet
• California state legislature passes same-sex marriage bill
• Afghan-Tajik border control transferred from Russia
• Controversial rapper dethrones Mariah Carey from No. 1
• Oil price falls on inventory report
• US FEMA aid site only supports Windows with Internet Explorer
• UN inquiry finds mismanagement and failure of oversight
• Google hires Vint Cerf, the "father of the Internet"
• Death of candidate will delay final results for German federal election by weeks
• Aerial photos of Katrina's aftermath available
• Samsung to sell dual-standard DVD player
• Halliburton's KBR awarded half billion dollar repair contract for Gulf Coast Navy facilities
• Blair is first public official to apologize for Hurricane Katrina response
• Controversy erupts over German Anarchist Pogo Party's campaign ad

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I see the Guru made a stab at promoting his bad old self at the Engine - we hope whatever is done is worksafe .... Sparky likes Warren Ellis' and Ben Templesmith's FELL #1 so much - he even did fanart ...


Save us all - Sparky