The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Friday, April 01, 2005


Early this afternoon I gave a courtesy call to Kristin over @ Brenner Printing to see how the new Deposit Man book was coming along off the printer. She happily torted to me that they will be binding the books this afternoon. I empatheized about how excited I was to be getting the books delivered to me at work Monday and how I was going to call everyone over to my place for a little celebration until..... Kristin informed me that you're going to have to put a damper on that sordid little soiree because you misunderstood, 'we're not shipping the books out tonight'.

"What? I thought you said that I would be getting them on Monday?"

'No, she said and then began to clarify to me that they would be shipping the books out on Monday.

"Well, then I should have them on Tuesday, right?"

' Wrong again, you ninny. UPS won't be getting them to you until Friday.

"Early Friday morning?"

'NO you goddamn whining dumbass, Try Late Friday afternoon.

" Ya gotta be shittin' me! I'm flying out Friday morning!! Holy hannah's shitpile- what am I going to do?

'Suck it up and eat more additional freight charges if you want them shipped overnight.'

I guess I'll find out Monday of how much this is going to cost me when they call before sending out the boxes. Sigh

And the charges just keep piling up.

Oh, Where's a auditor when you really need one?

The saga continues.




chick under shower

Because she's so very elated that a major hot kick ass movie is opening today and it's going to help put our world problems on the backburner ... at least momentary for this Saturday and Sunday.

No more wiping up the Pope's runny shit at the Vatican's death door.

No more Terri Schiavo drooling over all her vegetables.

No more al Qaeda Barbie doll beheadings on the six o'clock news.

No more Johnnie Cochran mourners passing around the paper bag bottle of Thunderbird in some suspicious darkened Hollywood alley.

Just pure unadultrated film noir grittiness and 45's a- blazing.

Jessica Alba

Especially when it comes to this scrumptious little darling being involved ...
one more

The world is as right as a refreshing tall glass of acid rain.

~ Coat

PS Though Sparky says to drool over this ninja starlet instead ...
Official Calls Bush-Chimp
Comparison Bad Taste
- Frankly The Real Ape
Should Sue

Frankly the Ape should sue

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - Belgian trainers helping police to understand body language have caused a controversy by likening George Bush's facial expressions to a chimpanzee's.

Interior Minister Patrick Dewael said he was unaware of the pictures when he signed a letter promoting the training package for police dealing with unruly soccer fans, and said the idea was "of bad taste," Het Laatste Nieuws daily reported.

Screw the Red States

The training presentation pictured the U.S. president's face in various expressions beside photographs of a chimpanzee, the paper showed on its front page, in what was meant to be a humorous introduction to the subject of reading expressions.

Dewael's office was not immediately available for comment.

wish it was an April Fools' prank

I wish I was joking. And dayum - the Puppet Boy King is a Killer Ape Chimp not the gracile sweet zugzuging all day Bonobo Chimp ...
- Guest Blogger Sparky
PS Lost Zen Puppy is getting started on "Poppy" getting rich off of Nazi generated misery ...

Thursday, March 31, 2005

... Of Life Again.

As a special bonus feature, let's not forget ...
(Please stop me, before I kill again ... )
"Let them hate so long as they fear."
- Roman emperor, Caligula
"... Many have noted that Bush exhibits a strange fascination with death, and like Caligula, he seems to enjoy executing people. As a boy George W. Bush had fun sticking firecrackers into frogs and blowing them up and shooting them with a BB gun. His youthful Cruelty to animals was a mere precursor to his later adult cruelty to human beings. As Governor of Texas, George W. Bush was known as the 'Texecutioner' setting a record in all fifty states with 152 executions, the most people ever killed by a Governor. During an interview with Talk magazine, he exhibited what could be characterized as sadistic tendencies. Writer, Tucker Carlson described Bush mimicking Karla Fay Tucker's final pleas for her life, 'Please,' Bush whimpers, his lips pursed in mock desperation, 'don't kill me.' Of course her execution proceeded. Again during the 2000 presidential debates when he spoke of executing people, an odd change came over him. 'The three men who murdered James Byrd, guess what's going to happen to them?' Bush paused and grinned at the camera... 'They're going to be put to death,' he proclaimed with satisfaction. ... "
-excerpt from Retort Magazine's "American Caligula"
© copyright Raymond Ponziny 2004

"We will export death and violence to the four corners of the earth ..."
- George W. Bush

W as Little Bootsie
"W" as Caligula

The Bush Junta II's puppet boy king Georgie Porgie has unscrupulously murdered again. You can now count Terri Schaivo as another celebrity notch in Georgie's slow assisted suicide death touch. The others being Christopher Reeves and Ronald Reagan, and I suspect Michael J. Fox will soon be crossed off on the list as soon as this current administration of slow torture death's tenure ends (or will it ever?).

The thing is: Georgie did try, but didn't try hard enough. If you're president, you're supposed to do whatever the fuck you want - I thought Georgie was into that sort of sadomasochism of sheer unadulterated power that would probably make him into the super-hero that his fellow brainwashed minions are waiting to see I mean if The Mighty Bill can go down to Miami and pitch some 6 year old Cuban back across to Castro without even flexing a pelvic muscle- this jackoff had every opportunity to bringing in the booty off of the showboats.

But instead, he blew it.

You see, it's that concept of stem cell research that constantly eludes them. None of this grandiose bullshit wouldn't have happened if the neo con naysayers just took a simple consideration to heart instead of pounding their war chest weighing the proclamations about the importance of human life if they simply down and made healthcare affordable to everyone.

But Georgie is no stranger to this shit ... he inadvertently tripped over a few electrical cords in trying to reach the light switch when he enacted the 1999 Futile Care Law back when he was governor of Texas that in a choking peanut shell simply states that if can't afford that Medicaid, away you fade.

So why did Georgie try to go all Jesus Christ Superstar when it came to Terri? Where the fuck did all the clearly phony sympathy suddenly manifest from? Are the "brain dead" considered the GOP's newest political base?

And that Fuckhead Tom DeLay, Mr. Sacrosanct to the rescue here - this dick cheese pulled the plug on his own daddy and has the unmitigated gall to hammer this on the wall as some political goop to make everyone try to forget how much he leaves a moist trail wherever he slides - but no, the story barely got a nod on the Today Show or Good Morning America whereas it should be the fucking stupid lead story on FoxNews every goddamn fifteen minutes to the hour.

And so we all carry on ... in a vegetative state.

~ Coat
Still Superman
America's Favorite Vegetables Dies; Next
Up May Be A Kennedy as Prince Ranier of Monaco
Pope John Paul II Simply Not American Enough
- Guest Blogger Sparky
veggies starve?

The neighbor who found Joan Bennett Kennedy lying on a sidewalk this week said she had no idea the woman she helped was a member of one of America's best-known families. Kennedy, 68, the former wife of U.S. Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, was recovering Thursday at Massachusetts General Hospital after suffering a concussion and broken shoulder.
Flipper's ex
It remained unclear exactly what happened to Kennedy, who has battled alcoholism for years. There was an ambulance call record but no police report on the incident and family members have declined to give any details. Constance Bacon, 35, who lives in the affluent neighborhood where Kennedy has a condominium, said she was returning home Monday evening when she saw a well-dressed woman sprawled on the sidewalk in the rain. There was a cut on her head.

"She said she was OK, but she didn't look OK," Bacon told The Boston Globe. There was no indication Kennedy had been drinking, Bacon said. Bacon helped her to her feet, called Emergency Medical Services and held her umbrella over Kennedy until an ambulance arrived five minutes later. Bacon said she didn't know who Kennedy was until a television crew came to her home Wednesday. Kennedy's son Rep. Patrick Kennedy earlier told the Boston Herald his mother was taken to the hospital at 3 a.m. Tuesday, but EMS records show an ambulance was dispatched at 5:20 p.m. Monday, around when Bacon recalled finding Kennedy. The congressman's office did not immediately return a phone call Thursday seeking comment on the discrepancy.

Kennedy was awaiting shoulder surgery, according to close friend Stephanie Warburg. Kennedy, who splits her time between a home on Cape Cod and the Back Bay condo, has been through several rehabilitation programs following a series of arrests for drunken driving. Her three children - Kara Kennedy Allen, 45, Edward M. Kennedy, Jr., 44, and Patrick Kennedy, 37 - recently took temporary guardianship of their mother to ensure she receives alcoholism treatment. Patrick Kennedy is also seeking to become her permanent legal guardian.

Well Duh
The Vatican denounced the "arbitrarily hastened" death of Terri Schiavo on Thursday as a violation of principles of Christianity and civilization, and a cardinal described her end as a "death sentence executed through a cruel method." It smacks of a poor ethical choice to those of other faiths as well. My bet is we'll all see "Wrongful Death" lawsuits brought against the Florida judges. Maybe the Schindlers will get a nice apology from Judge Greer. Expect tear jerker TV movies of the week for this tale of woe.

To sum up the MIKE SCHNEIDER AP news article -

Schiavo died at 9:05 a.m. at the Pinellas Park hospice where she had lain for years while her husband and her parents fought over her in what was easily the longest, most bitter - and most heavily litigated - right-to-die dispute in U.S. history. The feud between the parents, Bob and Mary Schindler, and their son-in-law continued even after her death: The Schindlers' spiritual advisers said the couple had been at their daughter's bedside a few minutes before the end came, but were not there at the moment of her death because Michael Schiavo would not let them in the room. Schiavo suffered severe brain damage in 1990 after her heart stopped because of a chemical imbalance that was believed to have been brought on by an eating disorder. Court-appointed doctors ruled she was in a persistent vegetative state, with no real consciousness or chance of recovery.

She left no written instructions, but her husband argued that his wife told him long ago she would not want to be kept alive artificially. His in-laws disputed that, and contended she could get better with treatment. They said she laughed, cried, responded to them and tried to talk. Over and over, Pinellas County Circuit Judge George W. Greer said that Michael Schiavo had convinced him that Terri Schiavo would not have wanted to be kept alive under such conditions. The feeding tube was removed with the judge's approval March 18 - the third time food and water were cut off during the seven-year legal battle.

Both sides accused each other of being motivated by greed over a $1 million medical malpractice award from doctors who failed to diagnose the chemical imbalance. However, that money, which Michael Schiavo received in 1993, has all but evaporated, spent on his wife's care and the court fight. Just $40,000 to $50,000 remained as of mid-March. Michael Schiavo's lawyers suggested the Schindlers wanted to get some of the money. And the Schindlers questioned their son-in-law's sincerity, saying he never mentioned his wife's wishes until winning the malpractice case. The parents tried to have Michael Schiavo removed as his wife's guardian because he lives with another woman and has two children with her. Michael Schiavo refused to divorce his wife, saying he feared the Schindlers would ignore her desire to die.

Schiavo lived in her brain-damaged state longer than two other young women whose cases brought right-to-die issues to the forefront of public attention - Karen Quinlan and Nancy Cruzan.

In other news -- No one is going to starve the Pope:
not a candidate
Doctors Wednesday inserted a feeding tube through the Pope's nose and into his stomach to try to boost his strength and help his recovery.

"If you add up Parkinson's disease, his age, his previous stomach operations, his breathing difficulties, his digestive problems, it makes for a pretty grim picture," the priest said. The Pope has difficulty swallowing because Parkinson's Disease limits muscle movement. He has had a breathing tube, known as a cannula, in his throat since Feb. 24. The cannula is expected to be permanent. The nasal feeding tube is expected to be temporary but if he does not regain the ability to eat normally it may have to be replaced with a permanent tube inserted directly into his stomach.

And this tidbit: Failed assassin Mehmet Ali Agca who gutshot Pope John Paul II on May 13, 1981, while the pope was riding in an open car -- has alleged that Vatican prelates helped him carry out the 1981 shooting in St. Peter's Square -- a claim that was quickly dismissed Thursday by a cardinal.

"Without the help of priests and cardinals, I would have not been able to carry out that action," Agca was quoted as saying in an interview Thursday with the Italian daily La Repubblica. "The devil is within the Vatican."

He has given conflicting reasons for the attack, and his motives remain unclear.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005


OK, now that I've gotten my second wind- it's time to continue with my word assocation marthon

On your mark...

Get set....


The Candidate: The Next Chapter, On the Brinks, The Departed, Seven Duece, The Ant Bully, Sleeping Father, P.S. I Love You, Love Thy Neighbor, RRRrrr!!!, Books of Magic- The Hunter Legacy, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, A Season in Central Park, The Brave One, The Burial, Dating Nick McBride, The Informant, Kashmir, Strangers, The Reaping, Flags of Our Fathers, It Wasn't Me, and finally.... Zodiac.

Remember, to keep these embedded into your memory banks. Next week sometime it's going to be a rough session of some harsh twenty questions for you guys.



Tuesday, March 29, 2005


Let's play a little game of word association. I'm going to give you a list of phrases- you try to tell me what they mean.



Get Smart, God Knows Best, V For Vendetta, License to Wed, The Tennessee Kid, Fully Automatic, Freedom Writers, Sharky's Machine, Fury Road, Kiss The Bride Goodbye, 33 Liberty Street, Jellybeans, The College Experience, Blood Diamond, Under Pressure, Oh God!,
Revelation, Have Spacesuit Will Travel, Bush Falls, Emperor of Ocean Park, His Eye is On The Sparrow, Will Sebastian, Scaramouche, Market Forces, The Forge of God, Say Uncle, Optimistic, Chasing Vermeer, Rumor Has It, The Witch's Children, 300, Last American, Eddie Dickiens & The Awful End, Urban Townie....

Hold on, I gotta catch my breath.

Wheez, Wheez, and Wheez..

Okay, where was I?

Hunting Einstein, Lords of the River, The Jetsons, Food of Love, Omniscience, Superfly, Good German, Green Eagle Score, Red Baron, Expendables...

And from here, I'm going to save some for tomorrow.

These little phrases are going to serve as clues- so it would be in your best interest to memorize them because, I'M GOING TO ADMINISTER POP QUIZZES TO EACH AND EVERY ONE of YOU!!.

You'll have fun. I promise.

More clues, tomorrow. They are the phrases that pay.

What the fuck am I up to, you might inquire?


That's all you'll be getting out of me.



Monday, March 28, 2005


This is going to be a new feature on this blog. Just mere mentions of things that burden my mind when I don't have much to say or the time dedicated to say it.

First things first: I want to make it clear- that I don't really want anyone under the age of eighteen to be reading this blog. I will be posting the first six pages of my new book and I want to make it abundantly clear that the book is of adult nature -- it was written for adults and all you're going to accomplish is nothing short of pissing me off if I get some kind of death threat in my mailbox in the guise of a permission slip from somebody's parents. If you want the latest in teenage debauchery, go check your local Suzie Suckjob blog that the class slut likes to put up in her spare time. Don't go whining your depressing adolscent insecurities to me. I'm not here to be your fucking mentor or guide you in some inspiring direction.

My weekend was relaxing, I spent much trying to catch up on dvds and hanging out with my old roomie/former Deposit Man editor Becky with her family on Easter -- her daughter, Olivia and I had a intense kickball session at the park across from their place.

Last time I was out in Vegas celebrating my birthday with my dad and the remnants of what exists of the Coatney clan out there, my dad bought me a few dvds of like fifty old wretched sci-fi films such as Santa Claus Conquers the Maritians or Teen Agers from Outer Space for a gift- stuff I'm trying to block out from my childhood memories. I mostly watch these on a late Saturday night or Sunday now that that I'm keeping my snatch searching days down to a bare mininium ( my current digs are not, what I would say, chic impressive), but now nearly half way through the set, I find that are a few gems that warrant mention and they happen to be:
Do you like Gladiator movies Timmy?

The Hercules movies.

Which is kinda funny, 'cause as a commotion causing cherub, I never had the interest to sit down and watch them. I watched two over the past weekend, Hercules Vs the Moonmen & Hercules & the Captive Women . The films were originally made in Italy and Spain and are dubbed horribly, but holy shit, if the effects aren't too shabby for it's day (I believe late fifties or early sixties) In the latter, you have Hercules causing the end of Atlantis, throwing boulders and knocking off Centurion soldiers off their horses, and pummeling the shit out of monsters. Scores and scores of people or innocent bystanders wind up nothing short of being eviscerated at the end of these movies. And that's a big plus in my book. I've got like another six Hercules flicks to go that are included in this collection. It's almost like filling in a missing void of my upbringing.

What is it with fucking Marvel? In the past, they've done a heap load of comics dealing with religious icons and idealogy- everything from Jesus to the pope to Greenberg the Vampire, now they're going to shove super-hero theology down our comic book geek reading throats?

Last week amongst the batches of the new releases was the first chapter of the new Daredevil story arch: Decalogue.

the order

Which looks as if the book's creative team of Bendis and Maleev was snatched by the clutches of the Bush Twirly Bird Christian Crank Jobs and are now trying to ween the audience of us little beggers to join in happily on the congregation express.

If you don't believe me that something fishy is going on here- check out the covers to the next two issues:

i've got nuttin
i still have got nuttin

Y'know I had this problem before with Marvel- which I voiced my compliant in the Oh So section of Comics Buyer's Guide when the producers of the old Fox X-Men animated show tried to invoke the subject of Christianity to jump start the minds pf the unimpressionable young viewers to embrace Nightcrawler as a monk or a saint. I see someone still hasn't learned their lesson.

Anyway, last but not least, I'm looking for guest bloggers. It seems that work at the studio is going to get a little bit more hectic- so I have Sparky here contributing his political observations which blows the water out of mine along with anything that tickles his fancy , so I don't mind if others reading this has anything important or something slightly interesting to say. So e-mail me with anything you want to try to put the spotlight on and who knows- maybe we'll a new trend such as blog sharing or swapping. I need to keep this blog active for the google listings, cause I' m such the attention whore.