The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Sparky: Friday's Review of the Week's News ... and some harmless agitprop ...

Sparky wants you to remember that Gonzales is the "Go To" guy for okaying torture by the less finicky for US Intelligence. ... And remember it was Cheney and Rummy who sent American troops to Iraq with inadequate body armor.

VP Cheney role surfaces in U.S. domestic spying

Official Portrait of VP Cheney -
with his happy face -
Pointman for the Bush Junta II

January 5, 2006

United States Vice President Dick Cheney, in a speech to the Heritage Foundation on Wednesday, admitted to a key role in the domestic spying program. In a ringing defense of the warrantless eavesdropping authorized by President Bush, Cheney said he had "personally presided" over most briefings of selected Capitol Hill lawmakers about the program, which was begun in response to the 9/11 attacks and after Congress passed a September 2001 resolution authorizing the use of force to combat terrorism.
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Not a happy face ...

The National Security Agency (NSA) has been monitoring certain domestic telephone calls and emails, under the condition that the other end of the message is to or from a foreign location, the White House has admitted. In addition, the New York Times has reported that the agency has been conducting a widespread data-mining operation of such messages, hoping to identify patterns that might tip off the U.S. government to terrorist operations. Bush quickly backed up the decision by Michael Hayden, then NSA chief and now deputy national intelligence director, repeatedly authorizing the NSA to conduct warrantless searches, according to published reports.
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Cheney vigorously defended the program, arguing that it could have prevented the 9/11 attacks, though a Washington Post report of his speech notes flaws in his reasoning. Cheney avoided mention of words such as "warrantless" and gave no explanation of why the secretive Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act court, which normally issues national security warrants, needed to be bypassed. He asserted however that "the civil liberties of the American people are unimpeded" by the "wartime measure."

Cheney may face pressure by some in Congress, such as Republican Senator Arlen Specter, who has pledged to investigate the eavesdropping program, to testify on Capitol Hill, though Cheney is known to be a major proponent of executive privilege and may well resist. The vice president, anticipating a "spirited debate" on the necessity of the program, said the leak of "highly classified" data to the NYTimes had been a "clear detriment to our national security."

The Justice Department launched a probe last week to seek the source of leaked information about the secretive program. No report has emerged that the Justice Department is making a formal inquiry into possible illegalities that might have occurred on the part of the NSA or White House. Many in Congress are interested in this point, as some see this surveillance of U.S. citizens as a violation of their Fourth Amendment right guarding against unreasonable searches.

The Justice Department head and former White House counsel, Alberto Gonzales, has defended the NSA program as legal and constitutional.


Abramoff pleads guilty to three charges

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Scumbag listening to his lawyer

January 3, 2006
Jack Abramoff pled guilty today to charges of mail fraud, tax evasion, and conspiracy charges stemming from the Indian Tribes investigation.

Abramoff, founder and former chairman of the International Freedom Foundation and former member of the Board of Directors of the National Center for Public Policy Research, reportedly agreed to cooperate in the prosecutor's case against Abramoff's former business partners, who are subjects of the SunCruz Casinos fraud investigation. Part of the three-count indictment charged Abramoff with influence-peddling a House Representative's Scotland golf trip with US$50,000. The money in question was solicited from an Indian Tribe in Texas by Abramoff, and is rumoured to have gone to Representative Bob Ney (R-OH).

In exchange for his testimony, Mr. Abramoff is expected to be sentenced to a maximum of 10 years imprisonment, and will be allowed to serve sentences concurrently. He is due in a Florida court on Wednesday in regards to the SunCruz case.

External Sources
Wikipedia has an article about Jack Abramoff.
"U.S. v. Ambramoff". New York Times, January 03,2006
"U.S. v. Ambramoff". National Public Radio, January 03,2006

Tropical Storm Zeta becomes second cross-season tropical storm in history

January 1, 2006

Tropical Storm Zeta has become the first storm of the 2006 Atlantic hurricane season after crossing over from 2005 Atlantic hurricane season as that seasons 27th storm, breaking the record set by Hurricane Epsilon earlier in December. This makes Zeta the second tropical storm in history to cross over into another season; the first time this occurred was in 1954-55 with Hurricane Alice.

Zeta currently has a top sustained wind speed of 50mph (85 km/h). It is currently about 1,085 miles (1745 km) southwest of the Azores and is proceeding west-southwest at 2mph (4 km/h). Forecasters say it is not expected to become a hurricane or threaten land.

Zeta formed on December 30, 2005, after the offical end of the destructive and record-breaking 2005 Atlantic hurricane season, which ended on November 30, 2005. The 2005 season was notable for the record number of storms it produced (including Zeta), and was the first time storm names used V, W and Greek letters and the second time the letters R, S, and T were used. The season also had the highest-ever number of storms forming in the month of July, and had the highest number of Category 5 hurricanes with a total of three, including Hurricane Wilma, the most intense hurricane ever in the Atlantic basin.

The most notable of the three Category 5 hurricanes was Hurricane Katrina. Katrina caused over $100 billion (USD) in damage and 1,383 deaths, especially along Mississippi and Alabama coastlines which suffered catastrophic damage. The storm also caused levees to break in New Orleans leading to the flooding of the city which is located below sea-level. The United States goverment, the city government of New Orleans and the goverment of the State of Louisana were all severely criticized for their handling of the storms aftermath. Hurricane Katrina, although not yet certified, is most likely the costliest hurricane in U.S. history.

Forecasters are predicting that hurricane seasons are going to be more active than usual for about another decade.


Comedian Jon Stewart to host 78th Academy Awards

January 6, 2006

American comedian and Daily Show anchor Jon Stewart has been chosen to host the 78th Annual Academy Awards. This is not Stewart's first time hosting an awards show as he hosted the Grammys in 2001 and 2002.

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Our hero Jon Stewart

His choice by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences shows their continuing attempt to target a younger viewing audience. Last year's host was Chris Rock, also a comedian who is popular with young adults, whose peformance and jokes at the expense of celebrities irked some Academy members. The Academy has also been seeking an Oscar host with the appeal of popular hosts such as Billy Crystal, Johnny Carson, and Bob Hope.

The choice further demonstrates Stewart's transformation from the host of a cult TV show into a mainstream performer. Stewart is host of The Daily Show, a satirical "fake news" show aired on Comedy Central that parodies network and cable news shows. The show started in 1996, anchored by Stewart's predecessor Craig Kilborn, who left in 1999 to host The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn. The Daily Show draws in about 1.4 million viewers nightly. While not a groundbreaking number, sixty-five percent of those viewers are in the 18 to 49 age group, which is the group most coveted by television advertisers.

The Daily Show has become influental in politics and pop culture. Stewart has interviewed many guests from both sides of the political spectrum, including 2004 presidential candidate John Kerry, Bill O'Reilly, Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, and has asked for President George W. Bush to come on the show, going so far as publish an invitation in a full page newspaper ad during the 2004 Republican National Convention.

Stewart has interviewed celebrities like Bruce Willis, Ice Cube, The Rock, and recently interviewed the band The White Stripes who then did a live studio performance.

Although The Daily Show is steeped in satire, its emphasis on political coverage and current events has led to many of its younger viewers regard it as their daily news source, especially during the 2004 presidential election. Stewart was even considered as a possible replacement for Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News by CBS executive Leslie Moonves, which owned Comedy Central before splitting into two companies just a few days ago.

Although a comedian, Stewart can be serious at times. Notable was his appearance on the CNN show Crossfire in which he got into a debate with host Tucker Carlson over the state of television journalism, and accused Crossfire of polarizing politics. He referred to Carlson and co-host Paul Begala as "partisan hacks", and said that Carlson was "as big a dick on [his] show as [he is] on any show". Many believe this highly publicized criticizm led to the cancellation of Crossfire.

The Daily Show has won seven Emmys and a Peabody Award for their coverage of the 2000 presidential election.

The Academy Awards ceremony will be held on ABC this year on March 5th.


Sadden by Lou Rawls' passing - Sparks

Thursday, January 05, 2006

SPARKY: Loving the Early Films of Woody Allen - sorta kinda ...

I just saw an entire typed blog go *poof* into the ether ... I slightly re edited this because of how goofy linked geocities images are. Anyhow my profile's audio file shows I was way ahead on this particular meme. And folks should ignore the rumor 'someone at ColorSystems' used their hardware to colorize a personal copy of Manhattan. Can't imagine how that got started.
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Sparky admires Woody Allen and really like his early films ... you know the funny ones. Warren Ellis mentioned something about Casino Royale being the pinnacle of cinema - it's not yet in WikiQuote - but just wait for it ... it triggered this response.

There's a joke bit that starts in What's New, Pussycat?; transitions in What's Up, Tiger Lily?; and ends in Charles K. Feldman's Casino Royale:

In Pussycat, Peter O'Toole as Michael James bumps into Richard Burton in a very tame strip club.

Man in Strip Club (uncredited): Excuse me, but don't you know me from somewhere?
Michael: The name's familiar, but I just can't place the face...

I remember the gag in Tiger Lily as similar; I just can't find it; but hey trust me - okay? The retort from CR is —

Piper: Are you Richard Burton?
Evelyn Tremble: No, I'm Peter O'Toole!
Piper: Then you're the greatest man that ever BREATHED.

I own a lot of Frazetta's posters, book covers and a few of his album covers. I do own the book adaptation of Pussycat along with the LP. I don't have the means to scan it at the moment so bear with the 'borrowed art' please. The reason I include the lovely China Lee and Tiger Lily bits are:
A pair of musical interludes featuring folk-rock band The Lovin' Spoonful were added by the film's producers against Allen's wishes; he would insist upon full creative control for all his subsequent films.
Which bring us to Casino Royale - the comedy wasn't the first butchering of Ian's spy under that title - there was an earlier version with a "Jimmy Bond" on American television in the 1950s.

Casino Royale

Casino Royale is a James Bond spoof released on 13 April, 1967 lightly based on the Ian Fleming novel of the same name. It features Orson Welles, as the villain Le Chiffre, battling James Bond in the guises of: Sir James Bond, David Niven, and six other James Bonds—Terence Cooper (named Coop), Woody Allen (Bond's nephew Jimmy Bond), Joanna Pettet (Mata Bond, illegitimate daughter of Mata Hari and James Bond), and Peter Sellers

(card-sharp Evelyn Tremble impersonating Bond at Casino Royale).

Prior to the release, Charles K. Feldman, the producer, had acquired the film rights and attempted to get Casino Royale made as an official James Bond movie; however, the producers of the official series, Albert R. Broccoli and Harry Saltzman, turned him down. Believing he couldn't compete with official series, the novel was then adapted as a spoof of not only of James Bond, but of the entire spy fiction genre. The Sellers–Welles segment is the only portion based upon the novel.

Plot summary

The story of Casino Royale is told in a somewhat disjointed, episodic form and is best outlined in "chapters". Note: some of these chapters overlap.

Chapter 1: M (here referred to by his family name, McTerry, and played by John Huston) accompanies representatives of the CIA, KGB and French secret service to the massive country estate of Sir James Bond (David Niven), a First World War hero who resigned from the secret service after luring the love of his life, Mata Hari, to her death in front of a firing squad. (The film ignores the fact that these events would have taken place 50 years earlier, suggesting that in the Casino Royale universe, the First World War occurred during the time of the real world's Second World War.) During the intervening years, Bond's name has become symbolic of the spirit of the secret service, to the extent that another individual (decried by Bond as being oversexed) has been given his name and his number, 007 (a vague reference to Sean Connery's Bond).

M and the others beg Bond to lend his leadership to a mission investigating the disappearance and deaths of secret agents around the world. When Bond refuses, M orders a military strike on Bond's mansion, but is killed in the attack.

Chapter 2: Sir James travels to McTerry Castle in Scotland in order to return McTerry's remains to his ancestral home. All that remains of M is his toupee, which is promptly dubbed a "hairloom" by Lady Fiona (Deborah Kerr), his grieving widow. Bond soon finds himself fending off the advances of McTerry's many daughters. Unknown to Bond, McTerry's wife and family have been replaced by agents of the mysterious Dr. Noah, who have been assigned to either discredit or kill Bond. But after Bond handily defeats a gang of thugs in a sport involving players throwing a heavy concrete ball at each other, Fiona falls in love with Bond and helps him to escape. En route back to London, Bond survives another attempt on his life involving a remote-controlled dairy truck.

Chapter 3: Bond, now promoted to the position of M, settles into McTerry's old office and his secretary, Miss Moneypenny's daughter (Barbara Bouchet). Bond's first order is to rename all remaining MI6 agents "James Bond 007" in order to confuse the enemy (and, no doubt, the audience). He also orders that an agent be found who has enough self-control to resist the charms of female enemy agents. Such an agent is found in "Coop" (played by one-time Bond candidate Terence Cooper). Although Coop is able to resist the charms of M/Bond's "secret weapon" - an exotic agent known as The Detainer (Daliah Lavi), he is unable to resist entering into a romantic liaison with the smitten Miss Moneypenny.

Meanwhile, Bond reconciles with his long-estranged daughter Mata Bond (Joanna Pettet) - also the lookalike daughter of Mata Hari - who spends her time smoking from hookahs, going to analysts, and giving poor dance recitals. (As noted earlier, the First World War must have happened more recently in the Casino Royale universe as Mata Bond is only in her mid-20s.) Recruited into MI6, Mata is sent to East Berlin to infiltrate a school for nannies which is actually a front for a spy school (the same one Mata Hari attended). Mata encounters her mother's teachers and a plan to sell compromising photographs of military leaders from the United States, China and Great Britain at an "art auction" which she disrupts. The plans are being sold by a man named Le Chiffre (Orson Welles) in order to make money to pay back SMERSH after he squandered the organization's money at the gambling tables.

Chapter 4: In the only section of the film remotely connected to the novel (and one that overlaps the preceding "chapter"), Sir James convinces millionaire spy Vesper Lynd (Bond film veteran Ursula Andress) to recruit baccarat expert Evelyn Tremble (Peter Sellers) into taking part in a mission to undermine the finances of Le Chiffe, who is now trying to win back the money owing to SMERSH at the Casino Royale. After a brief fling with Vesper, a whirlwind indoctrination into the ways of spying thanks to Q, and a detour via the provocative Miss Goodthighs (Jacqueline Bisset), Tremble/Bond finally sits down face to face with Le Chiffre, who would rather do magic tricks than play cards. Despite Le Chiffe using trick sunglasses to cheat, Tremble ultimately defeats the villain at the game, but he is soon kidnapped and tortured by Le Chiffre, and is eventually killed by Vesper, who tells Tremble, "Never trust a rich spy". Le Chiffre, meanwhile, turns out to actually be an agent of Dr. Noah and is killed in suitably bizarre fashion.

Chapter 5: After Mata Bond is kidnapped from the heart of London by a giant UFO, Sir James and the rest of the surviving James Bond 007s head to Casino Royale to rescue her and discover that the casino is located atop a giant underground base run by Dr. Noah, who turns out to be Sir James' weak-kneed nephew, MI6 Agent Jimmy Bond (Woody Allen), last seen escaping a firing squad in Central America earlier in the film. Jimmy's nefarious plan is to kill all men over 4 foot 6 inches tall, leaving the diminuative villain the big man who gets all the girls. Meanwhile, as a huge brawl breaks out in the casino involving secret agents, French police, stereotypical movie cowboys and Indians, George Raft, William Holden, and a seal with the name tag "James Bond 007", "The Detainer" tricks Jimmy into swallowing a miniature nuclear bomb, leading to an explosive finale. As the film ends, the various Bonds are seen playing harps in Heaven, including Jimmy Bond -- a fact quickly rectified as the angel of Evelyn Tremble sends Jimmy "to a place that's incredibly hot."

This version of Casino Royale is notable as the only legally authorized (albeit unofficial) Bond story in any venue in which the main character is killed off.

Cast and characters

  • The film is notable for the behind-the-scenes drama involving the filming of the Peter Sellers segments. Sellers and Orson Welles disliked each other and, except for a couple of shots, were never in the studio simultaneously. Welles also insisted on performing magic tricks as Le Chiffre, and the director obliged. Sellers ultimately walked off the film before he completed all his scenes, which is why Tremble is so abruptly captured.
  • The single most successful element of the film was the song "The Look of Love", performed by Dusty Springfield and heard during the Peter Sellers segment. Nominated for an Academy Award for Best Song, it has become a standard for its era. It was heard again in the first Austin Powers film, which was to a degree inspired by Casino Royale.
  • Jean Paul Belmondo and George Raft received major billing, even though both actors are only on screen for about 10 seconds each. Both appear during the climactic brawl at the end, Raft flipping his trademark coin and promptly getting shot, while Belmondo appears wearing a fake moustache as the French Foreign Legion officer who requires an English phrase book to say "ooch!" when he punches people.
  • Casino Royale also takes credit for the greatest number of actors in a Bond movie either to have appeared or to go on to appear in the rest of the 'official' series. Besides Ursula Andress, Vladek Sheybal appeared as 'Kronsteen' in From Russia With Love, Angela Scoular appeared as 'Ruby Bartlett' in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Burt Kwouk featured as a SPECTRE operative in You Only Live Twice, Jeanne Roland appeared in the same film as a Masseuse. Finally Caroline Munro, who was an extra, took a much larger role as 'Naomi' in The Spy Who Loved Me.

Maybe a weaker willed soul would blame Woody for his passion for seeing Asian females as desirable but as I already blame Walt Disney's Lt. Robin Crusoe, U.S.N for Nancy Kwan - the first Asian woman I was ever smitten with - I can't. So I'm letting Woody off the hook for that one ... Sparks

Tuesday, January 03, 2006


The letters and missives just keep pouring in, folks. These pictures of Irina keep coming in by the cyberload. So far, your responses to them have been vastly overwelming. In fact, we've had more comments and letters on this subject than anything that Sparky has posted up.

The PP Guru appreciates everyone's concern: but the PP Guru repeats: Irina is not really a con job. He knows it in the deep pit of his peyote soul.

Here are some excerpts from some of her recent letters that to the PP Guru sounds as if she is actually sincere in her intentions.

Your country - the great and very interesting country with a high level of life. In Russia it is possible to be happy too. But your country takes care of people. In Russia everyone think only about themselves. If I sometime will have children, I would like to present them good life and the light, bright future. I do not want to complain of Russia. It is the good country. But possible honestly work all life, but nobody will estimate it. And each new day will be similar perday yesterday's. But in life so much interesting. I think that I could work in your country medical field , but it is probably necessary to have some examination in your country and possible small study and practice. But as a whole I can, because methods of work are the same. I do not know, that I would like make in America. I think, that probably would like to go a professional baseball game or football game. Also I would like to see yours the zoo. And certainly to go shopping.

See? It sounds as if she just wants to fill in her party planner. That's all.

The PP Guru also wants to demonstrate that Irina has a heart of a philospher. Carlos Casteneda, eat your jimweed heart out.

"In the 19th century one Russian poet wrote about Russian woman:"Russian woman can enter in the burning house and she can stop frightened horse running towards her". The only thing she lacks is simple warm and caress, which she wants to receive from a man. This is the problem ofRussian men. The Russian lady does everything for the man but doesn't get anything from him. All what she needs is at least a couple of tender words and gentle touching of his hands. Is it really so difficult? Is it really difficult to present your lady a romantic evening and a supper with candles? In Russia as a rule such gift give lady for a man, but not a man for lady. When a woman carry heavy bags in the street no man will help her, he will only turn his look away and go farther. That's why the Russian lady never feels happy at her heart."

In others words, Russian guys are nothing but Vodka swigging scumbags.

Unfortunely, things still haven't progressed beyond the bread and milk lines out there as Irina so delicately puts it:

"I well speak English, but probably I have some accent. I have liked English long ago, when I studied at school. In Russia the program of training necessarily includes foreign language, as a rule - English, German or French. I have entered in group of the English language and I am happy that I made it. I very much like your language. After school, I continued studying of English language at the university. It is a very soft and easily-memorized language. I want to know this language perfectly. Unfortunately I have no phone. Please, not be surprising. In Russia many people have no phone. To get a phone it is necessary to write the statement, to pay the big sum and after to wait for a long time queue."

In our next installment on this continuing love saga: Irina thinks of coming to America - but she has one problem:

I have the passport for travel abroad but I have no the American visa. For reception of the visa in the USA time and if I togather to you to me is necessary shall be necessary to prepare for the visa already. I have decided to not postpone it and have decided to address to agency of travel.

Yeah, but will the PP Guru be willing to fork over the scratch for her little travel abroad?

Tune in next time.

Love is nothing but sex misspelled to: