The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

SPARKY: Major Xtian Nutjob Robertson claims God Says Tsunami Possible For U.S. — then the Da Vinci Dud!

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Pat Robertson Says God Told Him Storms, Possibly Tsunami, Will Hit U.S. in 2006

Thursday May 18, 2006 5:16 AM
VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. (AP) - In another in a series of notable pronouncements, religious broadcaster reknown lunatic
Pat Robertson says God told him storms and possibly a tsunami will hit America's coastline this year.

Robertson has made the predictions at least four times in the past two weeks on his news-and-talk television show ``The 700 Club'' on the Christian Broadcasting Network, which he founded.
Robertson said the revelations about this year's weather came to him during his annual personal prayer retreat in January.

“If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms,” Robertson said May 8. On Wednesday, he added, “There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest.”

Robertson has come under intense criticism in recent months for suggesting that American agents should assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's stroke was divine retribution for Israel's pullout from the Gaza Strip.

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Former Republican Congressman Paul "Pete" McCloskey, Jr., who served with Robertson in Korea, claimed that Robertson was spared combat duty when his powerful father, a U.S. Senator, intervened on his behalf, claiming that instead Robertson spent most of his time in an office in Japan. According to McCloskey, his time in the service was not in combat but as the "liquor officer" responsible for keeping the officers' clubs supplied with liquor.

Paul Brosman, Jr., another veteran who had served with Robertson, claimed in a deposition that Robertson had sexual relations with prostitutes and sexually harassed a cleaning girl. Robertson has described these allegations as "an attack by liberals to discredit me."

Robertson was promoted to First Lieutenant in 1952 upon his return to the United States. Robertson then went on to receive a Bachelor of Legal Letters degree from Yale University Law School in 1955. However, he failed to pass the bar exam[link], shortly thereafter underwent his religious conversion, and decided against pursuing a career in law. Instead Robertson went to the New York Theological Seminary, and was awarded a Master of Divinity degree in 1959.

'Da Vinci Code' opens in theaters, sparks controversy

May 20, 2006

Moviegoers around the world are expected to queue into movie theaters during the opening weekend of the movie "The Da Vinci Code," despite the disapproval of both critics and clerics.

The film, directed by Ron Howard, is an adaptation of the novel of the same name by Dan Brown, which has sold over 60 million copies worldwide. Officials at Sony-owned Columbia Pictures, which distributed the film, expect the film to gross US$50 million to US$80 million during its first weekend in the United States, based on figures from early matinees on Friday. "The early matinees are very strong and extremely encouraging," said Steve Elzer, a spokesman for Columbia.

Outside the United States, the film is also proving controversial, as long lines formed outside theatres in China, while the movie's release has been postponed indefinitely in India and banned outright in the Philippine capital of Manila.

"The Da Vinci Code" stars Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou, who respectively play a Harvard professor on religious symbols and a French cryptologist who become involved in a murder mystery revolving around the works of Leonardo da Vinci, a secret that could rock the foundations of the Roman Catholic Church if revealed, and a society formed to protect that secret.

The film was previewed at the Cannes film festival to mixed reviews, and critics have generally given the film a cool reception.

Certain thematic elements in the film and novel have caused a religious backlash, as Catholic officials call the movie blasphemous. "'The Da Vinci Code' gratuitously insults Jesus Christ and the Catholic Church," said Vincent Nichols, the Roman Catholic archbishop of Birmingham, England. "It deliberately presents fiction as fact."

The Catholic Church in China called on its followers to boycott the film, while a Catholic lay group in the United States plan is planning rallies outside 1,000 theatres nationwide. Francis Slobodnik, who is coordinating the campaign for the Pennsylvania-based group, called the film "an insult directed towards God."


The Da Vinci Code


Secret of the Holy Grail

As explained by Leigh Teabing to Sophie Neveu, the figure at the right hand of Jesus is supposedly not the apostle John, but Mary Magdalene. According to the book Mary Magdalene was the wife of Jesus Christ and was in fact pregnant with his child at the time of his crucifixion. The absence of a chalice in the painting supposedly indicates that Leonardo knew that Mary Magdalene was actually the Holy Grail (the bearer of Jesus' blood). This is said to be reinforced by the letter "M" that is created with the bodily positions of Jesus, Mary, and the male apostle (Saint Peter) upon whom she is leaning. The apparent absence of the "Apostle John", under this interpretation, is explained by identifying John as "the Disciple Jesus loved", allegedly code for Mary Magdalene (see also Second Apocalypse of James). The book also notes that the color scheme of their garments is exactly inverted: Jesus wears a red blouse with royal blue cape; John/Mary wears a royal blue blouse with red cape — perhaps symbolizing two bonded halves of marriage.

According to the novel, the secrets of the Holy Grail, as kept by the Priory of Sion, are as follows:

  • The Holy Grail is not a physical chalice, but a woman, namely Mary Magdalene, who carried the bloodline of Christ.
  • The Old French expression for the Holy Grail, San gréal, actually is a play on Sang réal, which literally means "royal blood" in Old French.
  • The Grail relics consist of the documents that testify to the bloodline, as well as the actual bones of Mary Magdalene.
  • The Church has suppressed the truth about Mary Magdalene and the Jesus bloodline for 2000 years. This is principally because they fear the power of the sacred feminine, which they have demonized as Satanic.

The secrets of the Grail are connected, according to the fictional novel, to Leonardo Da Vinci's work as follows:

  • Leonardo was a member of the Priory of Sion and knew the secret of the Grail. The secret is in fact revealed in The Last Supper, in which no actual chalice is present at the table. The figure seated next to Christ is not a man, but a woman, his wife Mary Magdalene. Most reproductions of the work are from a later alteration that obscured her obvious female characteristics.
  • The Mona Lisa is actually a self-portrait by Leonardo as a woman. The androgyny reflects the sacred union of male and female which is implied in the holy union of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Such parity between the cosmic forces of masculine and feminine has long been a deep threat to the established power of the Church. The name Mona Lisa is actually an anagram for "Amon L'Isa", referring to the father and mother gods of Ancient Egypt (namely Amon and Isis).

A number of different authors also speculate about the possibility of Jesus becoming a father. There are at least three children attributed to him, a daughter Tamar, born before the Crucifixion, and two sons Jesus (the Jesus Justus from the New Testament) and Josephes, both born after the Resurrection. Their names are now part of the common culture of conspiracy writers, however only two decades ago, when Holy Blood, Holy Grail was written, the names were never mentioned. The royal descents that lie at the heart of The Da Vinci Code mysteries centre on the family of Josephes, who is supposed to be the grandfather of Aminadab del Graal, first of the "Fisher Kings". However the genealogies that are quoted in Grail lore appear to record too few generations, with children regularly being born to fathers in their 40s. ...

The mystery within the mystery

Part of the advertising campaign for the novel was that the artwork in the American version of the bookjacket held various codes, and that the reader who solved them via the author's website would be given a prize. Several thousand people actually solved the codes, and one name was randomly chosen to be the winner, with the name announced on live television, Good Morning America, in early 2004. The prize was a trip to Paris.

The five hidden puzzles reveal:

  • That the back of the book jacket conceals latitude and longitude coordinates, written in reverse, light red on dark red. Adding one degree to the latitude gives the coordinates of the headquarters of the Central Intelligence Agency in Northern Virginia, which is the location of a mysterious sculpture called Kryptos. The coordinates were taken from part of the decrypted text of part 2 of the sculpture (part 4 has never been solved). When Brown has been asked why the coordinates are one degree off, his reply has been, "The discrepancy is intentional".
  • There is a secret message hidden in the text of the book flaps.
  • The words "only WW knows" can be seen on the back cover. This too is a reference to part 2 of the Kryptos sculpture.[3]
  • A circle with numbers, when combined with text from the book, reveals a secret message.
  • There is reverse writing on the cover of the book.

Brown, both via his website and in person, has stated that the puzzles in the bookjacket give hints about the subject of his next novel, The Solomon Key. This repeats a theme from his earlier novels. For example, Deception Point had an encrypted message which, when solved, said, "The Da Vinci Code will surface".

In the simplified Chinese version of the Da Vinci Code, the cover has a secret text; however, this text can be easily seen. It reads: "13-3-2-1-1-8-5 O, Draconian devil! Oh, Lame Saint! P.S. Find Robert Langdon." This might mean that other versions of Da Vinci code may have a message.

Criticisms of The Da Vinci Code

The book generated criticism when it was first published, due to speculations and alleged misrepresentations of core aspects of Christianity, the history of the Roman Catholic Church, and descriptions of European art, history, and architecture. The book has received mostly negative reviews from Catholic and Christian communities, as well as historians. Critics accuse Brown of distorting and fabricating history.

The book opens with the claim by Dan Brown that "all descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents [...] and secret rituals in this novel are accurate"; but this claim is disputed by many academic scholars in the fields the book discusses. As widely noted in the media, there has been substantial confusion among readers about whether the book is factual. Numerous works have been published that explain in detail why any claim to accuracy is difficult to substantiate, while two lawsuits have been brought alleging plagiarism in The Da Vinci Code. The second, by the authors of Holy blood, Holy Grail claiming textual infringement of copyright, was found in Dan Brown's favor.

In 2005, UK TV personality Tony Robinson edited and narrated a detailed rebuttal of the main arguments of Dan Brown and those of Baigent, Leigh and Lincoln, "The Real Da Vinci Code", shown on British TV Channel 4. The programme featured lengthy interviews with many of the main protagonists cited by Brown as "absolute fact" in the Da Vinci Code. Arnaud de Sede, son of Gerrard de Sede, stated categorically that his father and Plantard had made up the existence of the Prieuré de Sion, the cornerstone of the Jesus bloodline theory - to quote Arnaud de Sede in the programme, "frankly, it was piffle". The programme also cast severe doubt on the Roslyn association with the Grail and on other related stories like the alleged landing of Mary Magdalene in France. Detailed analysis of many other claims by Brown in the Da Vinci Code in the programme showed them to be unverifiable or unhistorical.

Of course - no one but Sparky will remind you that Jesus is fictional. Have a nice day - S!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

SPARKY: Humor is our first weapon! Crooks and Liars camping brings us this gem —

SNL: If Al Gore were President

“... As for immigration, solving that came at a heavy cost, and I personally regret the loss of California. However, the new Mexifornian economy is strong and el Presidente Schwarznegger is doing a great job. ...”

Video-QT Video-WMP

“..."Saturday Night Live," opened their show tonight with Al Gore addressing the nation as if he was the President of the United States. Gore was focused and quite funny in this entertaining spoof of the current administration and their long range of failures. He also parodied himself and the media (when they falsely claimed he said he created the internet) by saying that he invented an Anti-Hurricane and Tornado Machine. Gore touched on immigration, oil, the Middle East, judges and a host of other topics that have divided our country since Bush took office. ... ”

truthout: Jason Leopold: Rove Informs White House He Will Be Indicted
“ ... Rove's announcement to President Bush and Bolten comes more than a month after he alerted the new chief of staff to a meeting his attorney had with Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald in which Fitzgerald told Luskin that his case against Rove would soon be coming to a close and that he was leaning toward charging Rove with perjury, obstruction of justice and lying to investigators, according to sources close to the investigation.

A few weeks after he spoke with Fitzgerald, Luskin arranged for Rove to return to the grand jury for a fifth time to testify in hopes of fending off an indictment related to Rove's role in the CIA leak, sources said.

That meeting was followed almost immediately by an announcement by newly-appointed White House Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten of changes in the responsibilities of some White House officials, including Rove, who was stripped of his policy duties and would no longer hold the title of deputy White House chief of staff. ... ’’

truthout: David Johnston: Notes Indicate Cheney at Center of Plame Scandal
“... Vice President Dick Cheney made handwritten notations on a July 2003 newspaper column that indicate he was focused on a critic of the administration's Iraq policy, according to a court filing in the C.I.A. leak case.

Mr. Cheney's notes were cited in a prosecution brief in the case against the vice president's former chief of staff, I. Lewis Libby Jr. The entries were made on a copy of an Op-Ed article by Joseph C. Wilson IV, a former ambassador, that was published in The New York Times on July 6, 2003. The leak case involves the disclosure that Mr. Wilson's wife, Valerie, was a C.I.A. officer.

"Those annotations support the proposition that publication of the Wilson Op-Ed acutely focused the attention of the vice president and the defendant - his chief of staff - on Mr. Wilson, on the assertions made in his article, and on responding to those assertions," said the legal papers filed Friday by Patrick J. Fitzgerald, the special counsel in the case.

In neat writing above the text of the column, prosecutors say, Mr. Cheney wrote: "Have they done this sort of thing before? Send an Amb. to answer a question? Do we ordinarily send people out pro bono to work for us? Or did his wife send him on a junket?" ...”

Can we be rid of these corrupt pests?