Sparky: Here's the Guru's resume. Email him for his phone number please ... and give him a good gig!

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CARY COATNEY
PO BOX 10368
Burbank, CA 91510-0368
depositman@yahoo.com

OBJECTIVE
Motivated, career conscious individual anxious to secure employment in the clerical aspects of the entertainment industry by any means necessary.

EMPLOYMENT
2006 - Paramount Pictures Distribution - BOX OFFICE ANALYST. Entered in grosses and net profits of current in -play films from corresponding theaters utilizing TDS and THOR software via LOTUS Notes. Additional duties included picking up and delivering mail, signing daily courier deliveries, and checking in office supplies.

2003-2005 Warner Brothers Theatrical Entertainment, SENIOR DATA ENTRY OPERATOR: A continuation of duties performed from the Spherion assignment and additional duties of learning and performing to transcribe and transfer movie and television scripts to the company's intranet services utilizing their Telescope software.

2001-2003 Spherion Corporation, DATA ENTRY OPERATOR: Currently applying my data entry and clerical skills to Warner Bros MIS operations by utilizing WYSE software and creating Excel spreadsheets.

2001 Independent-Comics/Actionfigures MAGAZINE EDITOR: Internet business based in Sherman Oaks that combined a toy collecting service and a comic book internet publishing company. Served as writer and editor for submissions and cut and pasted articles online.

1997-2001 CORESTAFF, DATA ENTRY: Internet, Excel, and office support for clients such as California Federal Bank, CarsDirect.com, and Mission Community Hospital.

1993-2000 KRAUSE PUBLICATIONS, WRITER: Article and essay contributor to weekly collector/hobbyist newspaper, The Comics Buyer's Guide.

1997-1998 COMIC CON INTERNATIONAL, MARKETER/SCOUT: Coordinated and recruited for winter and summer seasonal trade conventions in both San Jose and San Diego. Tallied up extensive Excel usage in keeping track of billing for exhibitor tables and booths.

1993-1998 ROOKIES & ALLSTARS, MANAGER: Consulted and acted as PR/Ordering Manager for comic book and baseball card enterprise. Would also assist in clerical duties at a Farmer's Insurance office during morning business hours.

1990-1992 INDEPENDENCE BANK FINANCIAL SERVICES, SUPERVISOR: Ran a tight ship in the Mailroom and Warehouse.

EDUCATION
Parsippany High School, Parsippany, NJ 1982
Recording Workshop, Chillocothe, OH 1984 Vocational sound engineer school
Mira Costa College, Oceanside, CA 1985-1987

SKILLS
Operating office equipment with proficiency, PC (MS Word, Word Perfect, Excel, Outlook, Photoshop, & FrontPage), sound boards, synthesizer programming, Professional writing in Public Relations, reviews, essays, and magazines. Experienced in customer service in retail, marketing, and purchasing.

Watch this space as your pal Sparky channels the real President —

Sparky, In less than 100 days, history will be made.

Less Than 100 Days to Go! In less than 100 days, we can put an end to the Republican one-party rule and bring America a new direction.

The 2006 mid-term elections will be upon us and their outcome will determine the future of the Bush presidency and, in many ways, the future of our country.

There is no path to victory in 2008 elections if we do not have success in 2006 - it is just that simple.

President Bush, Dick Cheney and Karl Rove will either use their last two years to fulfill their wildest right-wing dreams, hoping to cement a "permanent Republican majority" as they put it, or face accountability and a progressive agenda in Congress for the first time.

And, that is why I am writing you. You have been instrumental in the DCCC's successes this year. Today, I ask that you take one more step and join me and my friends at the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) in our historic campaign to win back the U.S. House by giving the most generous gift you possibly can to the DCCC today.

Less than 100 Days: Click here to Donate to the DCCC Today.

The work that the DCCC has been doing has already been paying off. Every week, more Republicans slide from the "safe" column into the "endangered" column as Democratic challengers grow, reach out and inspire voters, and fight for our core values.

Thanks to unprecedented grassroots support from people like you in the DCCC community, Democratic fundraising can compete with the Republican special interest war chest for the first time in memory.

The Republicans will stop at nothing to keep their grip on power, and we will need to go blow for blow with them every single day everywhere in the country if we are going to win and set our country in a new direction.

The DCCC is the only organization that is monitoring every House race, working with our campaigns to hone their message, and knock down Republican attacks -- helping them get their field plans off the ground, and exposing the Republicans for every misstep and betrayal of trust. They are fighting for all of us, and they are winning for all of us - but they need our help to make sure they have the resources for the final days.

And I know from experience that the DCCC is the organization that is critical to ensure that victory in November.

Less than 100 Days: Click here to Donate to the DCCC Today.

The past weeks have shown us what's at stake. More Democrats in Congress would mean a chance to override President Bush's veto on stem cell research; it means a reasonable minimum wage that will allow people a chance to live on a 40 hour work week; it means oversight and checks and balances on a foreign policy that has spun completely out of control. A Democratic majority would mean lower prescription drug costs and a progressive energy policy that works to dramatically reduce greenhouse gases that cause global warming. And it would mean an economy that works for all Americans, not just President Bush and Dick Cheney's cocktail party pals. We can change all these things if we win in November.

I truly believe that when we look back on 2006 it will be the year that the American people rose up and began the hard fight of taking back their country.

We must have a Democratic victory in November, and it simply won't happen without contributions from people like you. Your past support has helped the DCCC lay the ground work for our success in 2006, and your support in these last days will allow us to fight for every last inch against every last Republican who has rubber stamped the president's policies, covered up his scandals, and put his party before the American people.

Please do your part to bring an end to the Bush era by giving a generous gift to the DCCC today.

Sincerely,


Al Gore

P.S. We have an overriding task before us to do everything in our power to ensure that when America wakes up on November 8th, 2006, the Democratic Party is in control of the U.S. House of Representatives. Contribute to the DCCC today and make victory in less than 100 days a reality.

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FORWARD OUR MESSAGE TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY		HELP DEMOCRATS WIN THE HOUSE

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Do it now and do it often - then email the GURU with job offers. - Sparks

PP GURU - BACK IN THE SHITHOUSE ONCE MORE!!

Pardon for the lack of contributions of late. The PP Guru was going to continue with his summer lapse of writer's block and couch clinging adventures in front of the sweltering tube steak in the sky- but he's fucking around too much on myspace.com to even take notice. Also - he's fucking unemployed ....fucking yet again. When he gets back on his feet- he's going to come back fighting - with a tribute to Moon Knight. The PP Guru is sorry for any inconvience this may cause.