The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

THE SWELTERING TUBE STEAK IN THE SUMMER SKY


The PP Guru is faltering. He's being plump lazy again. Instead of keeping to a very rigorous writing schedule under his nom de plume of Cary Coatney, he's slacking off with his tunics dangling off the couch in front of the boobie tube again. (He'd rather say under the glare of Pledge polished glass tits - but Uncle Har probably already has that under patented lock and key ) He seems that know more than ever, rather be seduced by siren call of quarterly Nielson's sweeps (but he'd rather be seduced daily by his *ahem* film star neighbor) , all year long while trying very hard to cut down on serial television sweets, pausing only to retina strain absorb such shows as Lost, Alias, 24, Smallville, and the Sopranos, and whatever Justice League, Teen Titans, and the (that goddamn eye sore) Batman left-over episodes there are left to finish out- the PP Guru is now getting engrossed in summertime viewing.

And that shouldn't be happening.

Especially when he should be sitting in front of his dot matrix word processor and hammering out the last ever Deposit Man mini-series story arc called "Playgod" (July is our official start date of penciling and production, or otherwise, let's just burn the scripts already. A year without putting out a product is a terrible waste of time....and space) - but yet here The PP Guru is - self absorbed in the HBO and Showtime Sunday evening woolgathering of it all: Deadwood, Entourage, Lucky Louie, Huff, Brotherhood, Blade, The fucking Venture Bros, and Robot Chicken, just to name a few.

So how does it fucking come down to this?

Satellite Digital is finally being absconded into the PP Guru's rent. And the PP Guru wants to use every ounce and every iota of his retina absorbing strength to squeeze every last cent of it - because he knows: TV watching has never been this good.

Plus, it helps the PP Guru gather up new friends - not that My Space.com isn't helping the PP Guru with his cyber social graces. So far, this year the PP Guru has held viewing parties of the Sopranos - now as we wait with bated breath for the final eight episodes to air next January (Happy Birthday PP Guru!!) has taped them all for *ahem* film star neighbor and is further getting on her good side by taping the Lucky Louie series for her (with a cross of amalgamation of Curb your Enthusiam and My Name is Earl - it should directly appeal to her - the PP Guru is patiently awaiting her Ebert and Roper thumbs up or thumbs down reaction from her).

By the way if you haven't seen Lucky Louie on HBO yet - here's a spoiler warning:

It has lots of penis in it.

There's so much cock displayed on the show that the cameras fog up when the female co-stars drop their tops. The PP Guru has never seen so much dick before on nationwide television - not even in the men's room at the Gibson Ampitheater during a Yes concert. the PP Guru is befuddled - is this comedian Louie C.K.'s dream of a revolutionary sitcom? The PP Guru can only assume that time will tell- the ratings are not that spectacular - but the PP Guru has got to admit it's white trashy humor makes for more guffaws than Entourage - whose third season airs before it during the 9 PM hour.

However the PP Guru has a soft spot for Entourage: because the PP Guru can relate to it's movie business Hollyweirdness box office grosses pissing contests that the series revolves around, especially when they're sprouting off them off like as if they're picking a trifecta at Santa Anita Park. You see, the PP Guru is living that kind of lifestyle at the Paramount Pictures Distribution office where we oversee all the box office receipts on their movies such as MI:3, Nacho Libre, and World Trade Center.

And Deadwood: holy shit what a gun touting blazing season this one is turning to be- with Gerald McRaney as the bloodthirsty first recorded capitialist George Heast who's pushing his weight in gold around town - is it no wonder that Swearengen is shitting it up in his chaps or keeping his fingers in check?

Sunday is usually the busiest nights when the Tivo grinds into overtime. Good thing that Sparky is lightening up the load: Please check out the entry that Sparky wrote on the new season of the Venture Bros which also airs new episodes on Sunday. The PP Guru is steadily finding Robot Chicken to be a clucking laugh riot. Comedy Central are finally airing the 'lost episodes' of Dave Chappelle Show - and Showtime is doing their own version of the Sopranos with a Irish mob eyed slant on "Brotherhood" - it's just a cornucopia overflowing with excitement and thrills that the Tivo cannot just imbibe it all in - that some just get knocked off and the PP Guru is forced to seek other encore replays in order to catch his breath from running back and forth from one end of the couch to the other.

More next week - the PP Guru will be adressing other nights of original summernight viewing including Psyche, Monk, The 4400The Sci-Fi Channel's Eureka, Stan Lee's Lightspeed, Do You Want to Be a Superhero, Blade on Spike, and Nightmares and Dreamscapes on TNT.

As punch and key in via remote control to:

~

The Coat