The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Friday, May 14, 2004


But first-


Alright, time is getting crucial. I was supposed to begin writing a profound essay for the new book last Tuesday night - but the office of where I need to compose the piece - all it's internet capabilities were somehow nuked or nullified for the entire evening. So next Monday or Tuesday- I'll try to pick up where I left off. My draft for the title is YOU SAY JESUS, I SAY 'HEY ZEUS, HOW'S IT HANGING?' AND HOW ABOUT IF WE JUST CALLED THE WHOLE THING OFF?'. It's a anti-war piece, can't you tell? After I get done with this entry- I'm going to call up MAS to see where he is in the inking of pages 4 - 15 of the new book and see if the meeting is still on for Monday. Then I got to call Oliver and see what's he up in the dialogue of the first three pages. I gave the pages to Oliver without MAS haven't really finishing them (he left most of Marty's tattoos unfinished) because I need to see how Oliver is going to handle the spanish translations in the word balloons. I had a meeting with my old pal, ALAN SINDER and he proposed that I ink the books over the computer- which I'm seriously considering for the DEPOSIT MAN & THE LAST GREAT GATE OF MORTALITY ACT THREE. Because, dudes, this is way tooooo slowwwwww if I'm trying to get it to the printer sometime next month in time for July's San Diego Con.

Trisha L. Sebastian from Sequential Tart left me a e-mail message at work telling me that she'll debate the issue over the Deposit Man with me in her magazine's letter section. I said, sure, no problem. The only thing is.. I've never read an issue of what they do. So I don't know - I may be the sacrifical lamb here or at the least the feast before the famine. Hey, who really gives a fig- as long as the book gets a plug, good or bad- I take my incoherent lumps whenever I can.

And now back to our program......

Well, it looks like I was obsessed with the Nick Berg execution just like everyone else. More surprisingly was my co-worker, GEORGE of the ANAL RETENTIVE JUNGLE, or MR. METICULOUS, as my department likes to refer, is actually more obsessed with watching the video than I am. I got the abridged version off the Drudge Report and their scanned photos. I dunno, seeing Nick Berg's head like that- you'd think Tom Savini stopped by and dropped off some props from the set of DAWN OF THE DEAD. It's that gruesome - but - and I know many are not going to like this- but I'm not really sympathic to the whole execution. I'm really not. To think that someone is that gullible to stick around in a country where the majority of the people who reside there- simply depise us; you're going to experience some repercussions. There's no other way of getting around it. AND NICK BERG was stupid enough to remain behind and play the all wholesome pacifist CAPTAIN AMERICA bit- the poor sod was stupid enough to fall into a fanatic group's hand after he was given stern warning to hightail it out of town. So move along people, nothing really to eulogize here. Although my condolences go out to Mr. Berg - he's obviously hasn't drank the same kool-aid that most of the Right Wing teabagging simpletons who've been gulping it down by the gallon. He knows where to properly assign the blame: there's a target on your back now Rummie, boy.

Anyone who isn't listening the the RANDI RHOADES show every afternoon on Air America Radio is a buffoon. That's all I have to say- except that now that's a woman I would be willing to share a lovechild with.

Things were a trainwreck with my TROY screening at work... and I could hardly give a shit. My darling little French/Spanish Firecracker's likely excuse for not showing up was that her cute little light green Volkswagon Jetta broke down and had to have her brakes. She apologized and broke down to admit that she had a dress all picked out (even after I left her a message that it was okay to come casual). So being Mr. Easy, I told her it was no biggie. My company will be screening other films over the next few months. So admitting to myself, that the date was probably better off- I mean, who wants to take a date to see a nearly three hour movie- and knowing that she is in her mid-twenties- her attention span is probably not as sharp or concentrated as a forty-year old. I'd know that she would have little patience for it- but lo, and behold- all seating was scoffed at the main theater and only small screening rooms were available. Then the pages walking up and down the line announced that they will be having a encore showing at the end of the month. Just my luck, I realized that I didn't set my timer for CSI and that the timer was instead set up for STEPHEN KING's KINGDOM HOSPITAL, which I heard yesterday was cancelled or put on hiatus. Plus - expecting that I would be pulling off a all-nighter with MS. FIRECRACKER, cause I half expecting that we were going to catch up since we've been a month apart due to my last move- I saw this as a good opportunity to just...cut and run. I said to myself, heh- catch it on the rebound- it's MAY sweeps and all my favorite shows will be having their season finales - plus- shit, I just remembered- I had some dvds due at Blockbuster that night.

I called her again when I got back, told her the situation would have been chaotic if she had shown up. She invited me her place in CULVER CITY to hang out. But like, I finally admitted to her that I don't drive and that a bus from the valley might take a while to get there. Plus, I would have to hop back on board as soon as I got there because the bus schedules end at eleven or midnight.

It just goes to show where my priorities truly lie. I wasn't really that upset that I got stood up on a date for once. TV and DVD is where it's at, man. Ah, the perks of being forty and single.

And when the encore date rolls around (the 25th) I can ask out the other same three girls who I asked in the first place who had alternative plans yesterday all over again.....



Wednesday, May 12, 2004


Talk about parallel universes! On my way to Central Perk yesterday (with two minutes on the clock remaining) to pick up my Jonny Quest love-fest first season DVD set I saw this squirrel digging in some bushes trying to bury some inanimate object. It was kinda weird that this squirrel wasn't even acknowledging my presence- it just kept on digging.

Didn't think much about it afterward. Got my wet dream dvd set (now I'm probably sounding like some sick pedophile wannabe- but I loved Jonny Quest when I was a kid and had a better appreciation for it when you realize it was very innovative for it's time as I got older) and picked up a smoothie- as what I had only time for since they kicked me out. So as I walking towards the commissary which has been closed for hours on end, I noticed another strange foreign object on the sidewalk- closer inspection revealed - that it was a headless pigeon - his head ripped right off-

Immediate thought-

Holy shit - I hope this wasn't Nick Berg reincarnated. Because it didn't work the second time around.

Although, that squirrel.....

That squirrel must have been AL QAEDA! Why didn't I figure it out sooner what he must have been buring?

More tomorrow, or the next day- as I'll be meeting my little French/Spanish hottie for a date in Troy...



Tuesday, May 11, 2004


ITEM! Time for a little arithmetic class: George W. Bush + adolescent mentality = a zombie on valium.

ITEM! Not much to write today- trying to save all my creative strength (at forty, some measures have to be taken to perserve your deity giving talent) in writing the contents page for the new Deposit Man issue - credits, synopsis - editorial page, and the indicia- so you're all getting to go home early.

ITEM JONNY QUEST! JONNY QUEST! JONNY QUEST! Another justifiable reason for me to cut early and burn rubber (the rubber left on the soles of my shoes, that is) is that I'm heading down to the lot and pick up the season set of JONNY QUEST! and I'm the only schmuck they order one for - In fact- I'm probably the only one in the universe privy to the fact that they're releasing it on DVD. Haven't seen it in Best Buy and I haven't seen it at Fry's.

ITEM! All praise the disgust of VAN HELSING! All I'm going to say is the entire movie with the exception of Kate Beckinsale's delicious ass and the ass talents of some ample breasted latina looking vampire chicks - the movie was like a shit sandwich with too much of director's Stephen Sommers bread jammed in between.

THE DEPOSIT MAN DAILY LOG REPORT My pal, Alan Sinder is back in town- refreshed from his nine month jaunt to Japan and um, married has all of MAS's covers to uplink to my e-mail subscriber base
and we will be premiering them momentarily to them, as soon as he gets his scanner rolling.

Beheadings for all if no one doesn't like 'em! Nick Berg will be nothing conmpared to my wrath!