The Purple Pinup Guru Platform

When purple things are pulsating on your mind, I'm the one whose clock you want to clean. Aiding is Sparky, the Astral Plane Zen Pup Dog from his mountain stronghold on the Northernmost Island of the Happy Ninja Island chain, this blog will also act as a journal to my wacky antics at an entertainment company and the progress of my self published comic book, The Deposit Man which only appears when I damn well feel like it. Real Soon Now.

Friday, June 18, 2004

BALL OF CONFUSION, That's The Way The World is Today....Hey, Hey

Just got off looking at the pictures posted on the Drudge Report that show in such graphic detail the beheading of Paul M. Johnson Jr. By the look of one of the pictures on the website, you can't help but think that YOU CAN literally stick your head up your ass nowadays. It's amazing what human feats of fancy you can accomplish these days. Now I'm not going to assume the role of a sympathizer or a apologist here- but what the fuck? WHY WOULD ANY AMERICAN IN THEIR RIGHT MIND BE IN SOME PLACE WHERE WE'RE ALL CONSIDERED PERSONA NON GRATA?
I don't get it- what is the attraction for cripessakes? And what? - I have to cry myself to sleep at night because some fool was going to trade up one culture for another? Johnson practically begged for his life by....wanting to convert to Islam. Wow, what a surprise to be willing to take up the cause, but you know what? The cutthroats (sic) wouldn't buy into it no matter
how much he proclaimed to 'love the Arabic culture' - These fucking Al Qaeda loonies- (or it Al Qaida? I swear, I see it spelled ten thousand different ways in the newspapers and on the internet. Has anyone settled on a the proper phonetic spelling yet?)- there's not fucking around here. Do any of you who are pledged to the 'Conservative Media Bias Ivy League' team begin to see the damage done when you start making paper sailboat hats out of Victoria Secret panties?

It's a worse case scenerio of a goddamn theocratic nightmare and it's not going to stop until we pry that speech impeded Diet Coke sluring Dubya and his crafty croonie Cheney out of that office that they usurped from the American people. I swear, those two - always in a board meeting with their imaginary pal, Jesus. They need to come up for air and shit a brick over their dropping poll numbers.

I couldn't help but make parallels between this Administration and the planet of Cremetoria that is explored in the movie I saw last weekend called the Chronicles of Riddick starring Vin Diesel. My observation, or better to say, interpretation of the invasion force calling themselves the Necromongers in the movie is a thinly veiled mock version of the coalition forces who come bearing wise gifts of Christianity upon their world - the only problem is, the denizens on that planet don't want JACK SHIT to do with it. Which is exactly what we are doing in the Middle East, in addition to scarfing up all their oil, we are fistfucking the one all or be all master plan of plundering the religious beliefs of other nations and converting them into mulch, which has been the plan all along - the total eradication of a religion who's mantra is out to eradicate the other. It's time to stop all this petty nonsense- close our fucking borders off, deport all people of Middle Eastern descent out of America and have a FUCKING TIME OUT! Then maybe, maybe the Al Qaeda won't have anything to whine about and they won't go around too much with plastic knives and chopping off heads and shit

A cooling off period. That's all I want. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

And fuck Israel too, whose moronic troubles serves nothing but being another fucking time waster on CNN. I couldn't give a two rat's shit about the thousands and thousands year old skirmishes between The Pals and the Israelis. I'm so sick and fucking tired of turning on the news and hearing and seeing everything so focused on things and events that the majority of this people in this country who don't give a flying fuck. People tune in the news in this country, to hear about news HAPPENING IN THIS COUNTRY.

My personal freedom to express my opinion in this country is curtailed or threatened by what the fuck happens in Iraq. Nor in Israel. Nor in Afganistan. And nor is your freedom in any mortal peril either. This 'stupid' war is being fought for PERSONAL INTEREST. And not National interest, as people my father's age are easily led to believe when spiraling down the path to a make believe Captain Crunch treasure hunt guided by Long John O'Reilly and Skipper Sean O'Hannity.


Things that usually help me plot a escape route through these long bouts of Christian skin crawling catharsises that resembles something right out of a M rated Ibox game (only that I keep seeing in the recesses of my mind, bible thumping louts coming at me from all sides- out of bushes, hiding behind trees and crashing through windows an the only way I can hold them is by picking up a rolled up of the Nation or Mother Jones to keep fending them off) is entertainment news.

Working for a major studio can make me thirsty for scoops and such. I like to take frequent walks around the studio grounds and poking my nose in to some sound stage where I don't belong or rifle through some paperwork and come up with my interpretation of what that project is all about that I see listed in front of me. And I have to match it up with what I see with what I read about on the website.

A couple items of interest I found in the construction department invoices of things that are being built on soundstages at this very moment.

* Serenity. It's been a while...since I thought about this project. This is supposed the movie version of the now cult classic series, Firefly that didn't last more than eleven or twelve episodes - but instead, has found a much deserved shelf life on DVD (which I sprung for my dad's Christmas gift) It's a amalgamation of both science fiction and western (a rare genre to even execute) - which is a Nelson's ratings way of saying you've got my peanut butter stuck into my tootsie roll candy ass- let the Fox network jettison this one real quick before no advertising dictates that IT ONLY NEEDS REALLY FINDS ITSELF A AUDIENCE - but let's not give them one. This film is going to be released through Universal and not Fox from where the series had originated.

* Million Dollar Baby - Clint Eastwood stars and directs (just can't stop, can he?) a film about female boxing. I heard Hillary Swank is going to be in this one.

* Zathura - based on the children's book written by Chris Van Allsburg and directed by Jon Favreau. I couldn't tell you the plot. All I know is that children's books are beginning to become a hot commodity these days at the studios. My studio is doing a remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp and I think Universal is doing one based on the Lemony Snickett(?) with Jim Carrey in the role of Olaf.

* Elizabethtown - a gushy love story written and directed by Chris Columbus and starring that match made in movie heaven couple of both Orlando Bloom and Kristen Dunst.

You know, speaking of Dunst- THERE ARE WAY BETTER REDHEADS to play and act in the role of Mary Jane Watson in Spider-Man 2. Dunst just doesn't cut it for me. She's cute - and that's about it. Cute doesn't cut it with Mary Jane Watson - Mary Jane Watson has to be a FUCKING KNOCKOUT, alright? I don't know about you- but I want to be one of those guys who walks out of a multiplex with a erection over the sight of MARY JANE WATSON in mortal danger from the pulsating orgasmic vibrating tentacles of Doc Cock....and having Alicia Witt in the role would have fitted the bill perfectly... or I would have settled for that chick who plays Sikouz(?) on Farscape.

Would someone please hurry and wake Sam Raimi up to tell him?

DVDs are my best friend - and they're cheaper than a date, too.

Next week - I'll devulge into some of them, including the eagerly awaited six disc set of the entire 1967 Spider-Man animated series coming out in a few weeks. I mean, last month, I felt like I had conquered the world with the JONNY QUEST set - but then, that was last month and my mental medication that insures me that world domination is just a disc download away is already running out.



Wednesday, June 16, 2004


Episode 1: The Map Sandwich of Manifest Deliwraps

I'm starting a new type of feature on this blog, in addition to offerering unused manuscripts or works in progresses- I'm going to start dipping into my cyber mailbags and reprint some of my online debating club SINCE no one cares enough to go onto my
and start shit up with me there, I'm just going to reprint some little diatribes held between my brother Matthew and I. The reason why I'm doing this is because I'm so bogged down with work at the office, getting the new Deposit Man book to the printer (more on that below), and plus, I fucking despise Wal-Mart with a passion - which brings me on to this little rant in honor of a major project I'm undertaking at work concerning....yeah, you guessed it, WAL-MART.

So, my brother Matthew, who hails from the barren wasteland state of Nebraska and I go into a little debate concerning Walmart's state of business conducts. Let me clarify for the record that he is actually my half-brother from my dad's side and my mom's side has a hard time digesting that I accept him as my brother because I didn't grow up with him- so they think I live in a fantasy world as usual and dismiss it as a misnomer-

But nevertheless, my dad's side is a little more internet savvy than my mom's side, with me leading the pack with the most google listings - just to jumpstart the ego a bit-

But anyway, time is a wasting and I have to deposit my check in the mail and scrounge up lottery tickets as the California jackpot climbs to 30 million and with winnings like that - that's nearly enough to run a comic book publishing criminal empire.

The first salvo. Well, not exactly yet, but my brain was about to drain out the sieve:

Hey, Cary

We just stopped by at the Library to get Laura some books. I wanted to Let
you know we got your package yesterday. Thank you for the cute sweatshirt.
It will come in handy for her this fall. Had to go to Walmart today to pick
up some chlorine for Laura's pool. She wants me to fill it today. I told
her she probably won't be able to swim in it until next week though since
its suppost to fall into the 70's the rest of the week. It's suppost to be
87 today but cool down tomorrow. It's deffinatly not California here or
Nevada. Hope your Memorial Weekend is going well.


Susan happens to be my sister-in-law and my brother and her have been married for nearly a decade. I don't fault him for that. He comes from a different background and was taught that marriage was the sure fire way of getting laid in life- he hasn't particularly embraced my atheist philosophy just quite yet. I'm trying to bring him around. Laura is my little cute as a button niece who just got done celebrating her sixth birthday.

Anyway, my wide eyed opened drooling snarling reply at the sheer mention of the word Wal-Mart:

What kind of liberal are you? You shouldn't be patronizing Wal-Marts! They're a front for Christian right wing wackos! GET OUT NOW- BEFORE THEY ASSIMULATE YOU AND SELL YOU A STACK OF BIBLES! If you don't vote Republician, you know they reject your Sam's Club membership. YOU BETTER FESS UP- GET THE CONTRACEPTIVES OUT OF THE BEDROOM! Why do you think I snicker when Aunt Sara talks about nothing but doing cross country wide tours of stopping at Wal-Mart stores?

Anyway, glad the present worked out well for Laura?



I've mentioned my over doting aunt Sara, a few times early when I first started doing this blog: before she moved to Vegas, she actually had to boast of stopping at seven Wal-Marts along the way- as if she had mapped her route to it. I assumed she stopped peppering my e-mail account with little cutey chain letters advocating bible-thumper brainwash manuevers after I threaten to stomp my foot on her throat. But all threats of malicious harm aside, after a while I like to think she ceased fire after I started forwarding to her all my spam mails of penis enlargements I think she began to get the message. What's a little e-mail trash ammunition amongst family, right?

Anyway- I felt I started to strike my brother's nerve after reading this reaction:

<Walmart down the street. Its also nice too see other slaves working at the
low wages they pay theit employees. There just like The university except
they don't make us do those motivational pep rally's that Walmart makes
their employees do. I shop at other stores too though I kind of get burned
out after shopping at Walmart 3 times a week. I won't join Sams club
though. You have too pay money to join and I truly believe I can beat their
What's this I hear you've got a girl friend? Dad was telling me.
Matt- >>

My brother works for a big university in Nebraska. The only thing that tourists dig about Nebraska is their stupid college football team- the Cornhuskers and he always boasts that he can get their team merchandise at fifty percent off with his drinker's club card- not that I have any need for t-shirts or sweatshirts that advocates growing men playing a friendly game of ass grab. But the Deposit Man might.

Anyway, on with the barrage of my friendly fire:

Yeah- well, you're not being paid the slave wage, otherwise you wouldn't be owning a house. AND you probably have a health plan- which they refuse to give to their employees, and they're anti-union, just the frosting on the cake of their indiscretions.

Dad said I had a girlfriend? Huh. I saw just said that I was taking a little spanish hottie and her nephews to see Harry Potter and he jumps to conclusions. I WISH she was my girlfriend- but she lives down in Culver City and it took me up to two and a half hours to get to her place last Saturday to give her the pass. But I'm going to go back down just to take some photos of Sony Studios for all the Spider-Man decor they have on the new movie.

I've got like three or four chicks on speed dial for emergency purposes. The one I'm most crazy about out of the four is a dark haired journalist who writes reviews for bars and restuarants in all the major cities for a website called and it's hard for us to get together because of our CONFLICTING schedules. So I may end seeing her once or twice a year. (In fact, she e-mailed me last week wanting to know if I wanted to go to a strip bar.)

There's another journalist I e-mail for fun and I'm getting together with some girl who works for Disney so she can use her discount to get me the 1967 Spider-Man animated series that's coming out on DVD at the end of the month.

See? I have them all wrapped around my finger.

My brother's reply didn't add much merit to the subject, because I assumed he wanted to move on with a different subject (mainly to see if I can get him autographs of porn stars)- but when I start cajoling, it's hard for me to stop. Here comes the firework finale:

I was just listening to Al Franken's radio show on Air America- and it was nothing but three hours of Wal-Mart bashing. IT WAS FUCKING GLORIOUS!! You know why they have everyday low prices?- it's because they take it out of the employee's salary and it takes up to two years for an employee to be eligible for any health benefits and if that person qualifies- it takes up to 40 percent of his yearly salary. Don't support these imperialist fucks! They don't even do fair trade! They make vendors wait 100 days to pay their bills. It was great listening to those people who were successful in stopping Wal-Mart from building in their area- including one guy out here in Inglewood (we only have two or three in the area-and there could have more but it isn't from lack of trying. And did you know that everytime they open a new store, it has to be built from scratch? - They won't buy up leased property- it has to be built where they can do some environmental damage- AND if the location doesn't work- they just abandon the building and move it somewhere down the block and START THE WHOLE SHIT PROCESS ALL OVER AGAIN!
My dating technique have nothing to do with swinging- it has to do with my environment and my liberal upbringing in CALIFORNIA. See what happens when you like live in Nebraska - your outlook on life turns to mush. Plus most chicks in Nebraska wind up being fat- so they're not much to look at or think about.



Well- I wanted to get around discussing girls on this blog anyway, so I guess I this way was one way of getting around to it. No names or reputations were harmed in the mention of this blog:

Well, I can't tell whether or not, my brother is blowing a casket here, but I guess he's trying to signal me to back off a little bit. I can be so persistent at times though in getting my point across:

Did you ever think why a 9:00 an hour University Employee owns his own
house is because I've shopped at Walmart's and Kmarts my whole life. I've
also had help with my 7:00 an hour wife but we've always been good with our
finances. I went to high school with 2 Walmart Managers Chris and Eric
who make 12:00 an hour and have pretty good stock options with
Walmart as well as retirement plans similiar to mine. I won't bash Walmart
they treat there employees better than my organization. I've been with the
University 14 years I should be making at least 12 or 13 an hour by now.
The only reason I stay is because Susan gets a tuition break from me
working here. A groundskeeper doesn't choose his profession for money
Take pity on poor state workers who aren't protected by powerful unions,
which we really need!!!!

And I haven't heard word from him since - but it's been only a week.

Anyway, this gives me a good idea about some of e-mail feuds I've had with my first 'editor' Scott Goodell.


Oliver and I got together over the last weekend and we got approximately four to five pages done.... MY WAY - with some compromises here and there. We're some debate over the last three pages of the story - I'm afraid the work that has been done on it, needs a little tuning up- but I suggested to Oliver that this should be the last thing we need to worry about. One page remains totally uninked and the entire cover including the Marillion back cover needs to be scanned and finalized. My essay/editorial is done as some of you may have seen in the last entry.

The major thing that is cheezing me off is the timeframe - I was hoping that there would not be a major rush to get this off to the printer despite the fact that MAS sat on the artwork for nearly three weeks, not getting it into his head that I did want it done at a certain time-

And I'm having major debates with Oliver over the story direction. Like I mentioned before, he is contenting with dumbing my story down and trying to throw out the metaphysical and theological elements from my book. I'm trying to explain that there is a method to Marty's madness in this issue and the major clues I lay out in the issue keep getting tossed away. But heh- what's the creative life of a idealist without a few haggles with your editor, huh?